


Honeybee

by youresomoneybaby



Category: Legacies (TV 2018), The 100 (TV)
Genre: ? - Freeform, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, But also, F/F, F/M, First fic be gentle, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Penelope has a motorcycle, Posie Endgame, Shy babies, Slow Burn, Waitress Josie, just crack honestly, not rly?, they're getting to know each other ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:21:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 78,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23197009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youresomoneybaby/pseuds/youresomoneybaby
Summary: The death of her father left a void in Penelope that she thought could never be filled. Her relationship with her mother became strained to the point where they're barely on speaking terms after an accident that scarred Penelope in more ways than one. After spending time at the local diner one day, she meets Josie. Josie's smile is sweet and she looks at Penelope with a look in her eye that she has never seen before. They have an instant connection but can Penelope let Josie through the walls she built over the last few years?Summaries are hard so this is tentative.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Penelope Park & Josie Saltzman, Penelope Park/Josie Saltzman
Comments: 242
Kudos: 539





	1. Something I Couldn't See

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction so please be gentle! I began writing this in a half awake, half asleep delirium and decided it was crackheaded enough to continue but might not have edited it... Anyways in wake of the recent quarantines lately, I've been reading one too many Clexa/Posie fics and wanted both in one so por que no los dos? 
> 
> let's chat on tumblr; youresomoneybby
> 
> Title is from Honeybee by The Head and the Heart

The diner was quiet for a Thursday night, over half the tables were occupied by people of all ages. Older couples, families and teenagers littered the restaurant all over. Probably thanks to the upcoming football game tomorrow night at the local high school just down the road. Penelope couldn’t have chosen a worse time to try and get some alone time. She sat in a booth on the far right corner of the diner, a notebook and pen in front of her while her backpack sat slouched inside the booth. She quickly scribbled down some nots before closing the notebook and shoving it into her backpack as a burger slid in front of her. The smell of the cheeseburger quickly filled her nostrils and her mouth watered on command. But she didn’t order this food yet now she definitely wishes that she did. Her eyes trailed from the hand that was now retreating back up to the face of possibly the most beautiful girl she had ever seen. Dressed in a pale yellow diner uniform was a girl, she had chocolate brown hair with eyes that twinkled with something Penelope couldn't put her finger on. Her full, pouty lips parted in a shy smile, revealing a tiny gap between her two front teeth. Penelope’s eyes quickly darted down to the name tag stuck on her apron before going back up to the girls eyes. Josie. Penelope had seen her in the hallways at school but never worked up the courage to speak to her. She was sure they’ve shared classes since middle school.

“I didn’t order this.” Penelope finally said, her voice a little husky due to hours of not using it. Josie simply smiled, she intertwined her own hands in front of her and shrugged. “I know. But you’ve been sitting here for two hours now and only ordered a coffee and a slice of pie. I figured you would like some actual sustenance and this burger is to die for.”

The sound of Josie’s voice took Penelope by surprise and she made a mental note to always remember it. It was smooth and almost musical, she could listen to the waitress talk for hours on end about anything, hell she could probably make listening to the dictionary sound fun. Maybe she should think of a change of career.

Penelope smiled up at Josie before nodding. “I’ll take your word for it, but I will be sorely disappointed if I don’t feel like laying my life on the line after I eat it.” Josie laughed, a light, musical sound that reminded Penelope of wind chimes, the good ones at least. “While I am confident in my burger assessing abilities, I will still take full responsibility if you end up not liking the burger.”

Penelope quirked a brow, now suddenly interested in what the girl was saying. Josie was definitely flirting with her, she knew that now and she was not mad whatsoever. “And what will you give me if the burger doesn’t meet my expectations?”

Josie opened her mouth to respond but was quickly cut off by the loud entrance of the high school’s football team. They were all dressed in letterman jackets, most likely fresh out of practice as they piled into a booth on the far left corner of the diner. The diner filled with the football team’s rowdy banter, quickly over powering the rest of the diner’s conversations.

Just as the rest of the team sat down, the door chimed one more time and in walked a boy with long floppy hair that fell over his eyes. Crumbled in his hands was a football jersey as he scanned the diner looking for someone until his eyes found the waitress in front of her. Penelope clenched her jaw as she watched the boy who she thinks is named Finn stride over to Josie and picks her up. Josie squealed in surprise as she was twirled around in a small circle before finding her feet. Her eyes quickly darted over to Penelope and she gave the raven haired girl an apologetic smile. “Hey! We missed you at practice.” Finn said, his hands still set on Josie’s hips. Josie smiled, her hands quickly taking his to remove them back to his side.

“I’m sorry to have missed it but the diner needed me so, what can you do? Luckily I had Penelope here to keep me company.” She gestured with her hand to the girl still seated in the booth. Hold on a second, Josie knew who she was? It wasn’t until then that Finn glanced over at her, finally realizing that they weren’t alone in this corner of the diner.

Penelope offered Finn a small salute accompanied with her infamous smirk. Finn quirked a brow as he looked the girl over from head to toe and it sent a shiver up Penelope’s spine. The way he was looking at her made her feel uncomfortable. Focusing his attention back on Josie, he grinned at her and handed her the jersey in his hands. “I wanted to bring you this. Will you wear it to the game tomorrow?” Penelope watched as Josie stiffened, unsure of how to respond.

“Aren’t cheerleaders required to wear their own uniforms?” Penelope spoke up, loud enough to catch Finn’s attention. He turned his head back to the girl and narrowed his eyes. Penelope picked up a fry and popped it into her mouth, an innocent smile lining her lips. He looked like he was about to say something back before Josie cut him off.

“Penelope’s right. I have to wear my uniform so I can’t, I’m sorry. I don’t want to get into it with coach. I appreciate the thought though, Finn.” Even when rejecting someone, Josie was sweet. Penelope couldn’t seem to take her eyes off of the waitress. She had this alluring aura to her and it made Penelope want to get to know her more. “I’ve got to get back to work, Finn.” Josie gave him another smile before turning her attention back to Penelope. “I’ll come by in a bit to get your opinion on that burger, don’t think I forgot.” The two girls exchanged grins before Josie turned on her heel and went to wait on another table. Finn stood there, football jersey in his hand and a dumbfounded look on his usually smug face. “Penelope, is it?” She looked up at him, pausing halfway with a fry to her mouth before taking a bite.

“Sure is, Finley.” Something in his face twitched as he turned his body fully to her. “Josie seems to like you so I’ll tolerate you. For now. But I’m watching you.” With that, he turned away to join the rest of the football team. Penelope’s eyes dropped to the jersey in his hands as she watched him trudge along; he was white knuckling the damn shirt. Who knew a simple interaction could get under someone’s skin so easily? This’ll be fun. Penelope smirked to herself before picking up the burger and taking a bite. Her eyes widened before taking another bite. Holy crap, the burger was amazing. The second she finished one bite she went in for another and the next thing she knew, she was left with nothing but a few fries. She was ridding her hands of the grease with a wet nap when a certain brunette came in her eye line.

“So, you either loved the burger or hated it so much that you just had to eat all of it.” Josie smiled down at Penelope. She leaned her hip against the table of the booth and tilted her head inquisitively as she waited Penelope’s answer. Penelope returned her smile and shrugged. “I’ll be honest. I loved the burger but a part of me was considering just lying so I could see what you were going to give me if I didn’t.” Light pink dusted the apples of Josie’s cheeks and her smile turned into a grin. Her hands were fiddling with the hem of her apron as she thought over her next words. Penelope could literally see the gears churning in her head and it only made her smile even more.

“I guess you’ll have to come to the football game tomorrow night to find out.” She had to hand it to her, the waitress was good. Her snark was nearly on par with Penelope’s and this was just the beginning too. Reaching into her jacket pocket, she pulled out a couple of bills from her wallet and slid them onto the table. She stood up, surprised to see that Josie had barely an inch over her. She slid her backpack onto a shoulder and leaned in a little. “Are you sure you want me there while you’re doing stunts?” Her eyes dropped to Josie’s fingers that were still fraying the poor apron’s hem. “It seems that I make you kind of nervous and I wouldn’t want you to get hurt.” Penelope’s smirk grew as the blush on Josie’s cheeks deepened. Her hand grazed the small of Josie’s back before she made her way around. “How about dinner after? Let’s say 8:30 at the Grill? I’ll meet you there.” She watched Josie follow her with her eyes before giving a slight nod.

“It’s a date.” Josie said quietly, only loud enough that the two of them could hear. Penelope’s heart was thrumming rapidly in her chest. God, there was something about Josie that just turned her into a little school girl. “It’s a date.” Penelope confirmed before pushing through the doors of the diner and towards her motorcycle. She spared one last glance through the diner’s windows as she pulled out her riding gloves only to be met with Josie’s chocolate brown eyes. The eye contact was broken when the chef behind the counter shoved two plates onto the counter and rang the bell obnoxiously. Penelope took this time to turn her attention back to getting on her bike. She knew that if she looked back one more time then she wouldn’t be able to tear herself away.

++

Riding the motorcycle was a stress reliever for Penelope. She had gotten it after months of bickering with her mother, Sabine, over the safety concerns of riding a bike compared to the protection of a car. Sabine had become overly protective over her daughter after her husband died in a mugging three years prior. The relationship that was once close and tolerable became strained and a chore. Penelope’s father Robert acted as a conduit between the two women, always mitigating their relationship and keeping the peace. And when he died… Things went south quickly. Which eventually led to the unsurprising act of rebellion when Penelope purchased the bike.

After having to listen to a particularly grueling lecture from her mother one day about the types of injuries that motorcyclists endure in car accidents, she went against her wishes anyways and purchased a Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle at the local dealership. Penelope had managed to hide the bike for two weeks before her mother stumbled across her riding jacket which led to Sabine snooping around Penelope’s room and finding the rest of her motorcycle stuff.

Sabine had yelled at her for so long that the raven haired girl thought her mother was about to pass out from lack of oxygen to the brain. She wanted to yell back at her mom. Yell that she was free to do whatever she pleased with the money her father left her because it was hers. But she knew better than to rile up her mother even more, so she sat there like the good daughter her mother wished she was.

But that wasn’t enough. It happened in a blink of an eye. One second, Sabine was seven feet away from Penelope, waving her hands everywhere as she yelled at her daughter. The next, she took three long strides up to her daughter and backhanded her hard. Penelope just stared at her mother, wide eyed and shocked as she felt something warm slide down her cheek. Sabine had hit her with her left hand where an obnoxiously large diamond sat on her ring finger. Curse her mother’s affinity for expensive items. The diamond had cut a deep, jagged gash into Penelope’s left brow which began to spill a steady stream of blood and would later leave a scar for the rest of her life. She could feel the wound on her face begin swelling up by the second and her eyes filled with tears that she refused to spill in the presence of this woman that was masquerading as a mother.

Sabine hadn’t hit Penelope since she was a kid, and even then, her father came bursting in the room to pull her away. But he wasn’t here anymore to pull anyone away. The sudden outburst shocked even Sabine and she stood there, hand frozen in the position it had ended up in before covering her mouth.

“…Pen.. honey I’m—“

“Don’t call me that.” Penelope growled. This woman doesn’t get to call her anything other than Penelope. She doesn’t get to hit her and try to use a term of endearment to suddenly make it seem like she gave a shit.

She gathered her things, rushed out of the house and onto her motorcycle. She road around for hours that night, not really sure what to do before ending up at her best friend Lexa’s apartment. The door of the apartment swung open and Lexa’s usual hard eyes immediately softened at the state of her best friend. The two of them had been friends for years, having gone to the same preparatory school as kids. They also shared the common trait of having a terrible relationship with their mothers so that was always nice. Lexa helped stitch up the cut on Penelope’s eye the best she could since the raven haired girl didn’t want to go to the hospital. It was probably thanks to Lexa’s inexperienced handiwork that the scar was as visible as it was. But the cut was so deep that chances were, Penelope wasn’t getting away unscathed.

++

Penelope pulled into the garage of the two story house. There was only one other car in the driveway that belonged to their housekeeper, Rose. She powered down her bike and made her way into the house and to the kitchen. The smell of heavy spices quickly filled her nostrils as she was greeted with Rose’s small figure stirring a pot on the stove.

“You’re finally home! I was beginning to think that I was about to have dinner by myself, Penny.” Rosa set her hands on her hips and did her best to give Penelope a disappointed look. It quickly softened as Penelope came around to give the older woman a tight squeeze.

Rose was the only person that Penelope let call her Penny. It was, “Easier and quicker to say than Penelope. It has too many letters.” Rose once said and Penelope being Penelope didn’t bother to correct her. The nickname eventually grew on her and soon became something she reserved solely for Rose. Rose had been hired by Sabine a year and a half after the death of Penelope’s father. Rose was meant to just be a chef and to clean the house but she quickly became more of a mother figure to Penelope than Sabine ever was.

“I’m sorry, I got caught up at the diner. That curry smells delicious though, is Thai your flavor of the week?” Rose playfully slapped Pen on the arm before pushing her into a chair next to the island. This was how most nights went for the two of them. Penelope coming home after school or after spending hours at the diner to a homemade dinner cooked by Rose. Sabine was gone most days managing the company that Penelope’s father had left behind. Trying to put things back together and run it after Robert’s death was hard but that was all she had to do until Penelope became of age and she was named CEO. It was something always at the back of the girl’s mind that she tried to push as far as possible. She had barely turned seventeen a few months ago and all she wanted to do was finish high school, go to college and live her life.

The two women talked quietly over their dinner about their day. Rose told Penelope about her daughter that started first grade recently. It took nearly twenty minutes to pull little Rio off her leg and to the classroom, but by the time Rose went to pick her up hours later, the girl was buzzing with excitement. She pulled out a rough looking piece of colored paper and handed it to Penelope.

“Rio made you this today at school. Her teacher told her to make a card for their best friend today in art class.” Penelope smiled. Her heart swelled as she read the messy handwriting of her favorite six year old. On the card was a stick figure drawing of what Penelope presumed to be Rio, Rose, and Penelope. She even drew Penelope’s bike on the card.

“I love it, Rose. Tell her I do. And remember, you guys are always welcome to stay here too. God knows I won’t mind the company.” Penelope wrapped an arm around the older woman’s shoulder and gave her a tight squeeze. Dinner ended shortly after that. Rose had to get home to pick up Rio from her sister’s and Penelope had to get ready for bed. She fell face first onto her bed after taking a long, hot shower to soothe the aches of her muscles and wash the days’ worries away. Her mind began wandering to the pretty girl she met at the diner today.

_Josie_.

A slow smile began to creep onto Penelope’s lips as she thought over their conversation today. The witty banter that came much too easily between the two of them and not to mention the lingering looks. Tomorrow will definitely be a day to look forward to. Penelope rolled onto her back and let out a loud sigh. The house was quiet yet again now that Rose was gone, the silence almost deafening. Penelope quickly reached over to turn on the TV in her room to fill the void and shuffled under the covers.

Despite the constant empty feeling in her gut, the young girl managed to find solace in the fact that she would get to see a certain pair of chocolate brown eyes again.


	2. Oh, Don't You See?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the next day at school and Penelope is excited to see Josie.
> 
> Lizzie makes a comment and Josie makes a confession.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's chapter 2! Not sure how often I will be updating at the moment but may or may not be frequent. Let me know what you think, I'm always looking to improve.

Mornings at the Park household weren’t nearly as bad as the nights. Usually, Penelope would wake early to make a small snack for breakfast before heading out to school. Every now and again Rose and Rio would stay with her and she’d get to wake up to the smell of bacon and pancakes. Those mornings were her favorite.

Today she sat at the island in the middle of her kitchen, coffee in hand and a bowl of oatmeal staring back at her. Everyday she was reminded of just how big the four bedroom house made her feel. At least it was still appealing to look at. Once you make your way down the stairs, the kitchen is immediately to your left. A large, double doored stainless steel fridge was on the left, and as you rounded around the island was the pantry and stove. The sink was right across from the fridge, it wasn’t a big kitchen but it’s not like Penelope needed anything bigger. In fact, she wouldn’t mind downsizing to an apartment since she was constantly on her own. The kitchen was an open area as it eventually blended into the living room if you turned right at the end of the steps. The girl looked over at the clock that sat on the wall above the stove.

_6:35am._

Class didn’t start until 7:15 and she had been awake since 5 but contemplating going to school early to get the chance to run into Josie before the bell rang.

_Would it be too much to try and find her for a chat before class? There’s no harm in that right?_

Before she could overthink anymore, she gulped down the rest of her coffee, wolfed down her oatmeal and grabbed her helmet. The ride to Salvatore High was shorter than usual and that definitely wasn’t due to the fact that Penelope was speeding. Riding a motorcycle had its perks and even if it earned her a few loud car honks and curses, she had a plan and was going to stick to it.

++

Nearly half of the parking lot was full when Penelope pulled up in her usual parking spot next to a small tree. Her loud motorcycle almost always caught the unwanted attention of students glaring at her. She didn’t make the effort to get to know people as much as she should have but she liked her alone time. The only people she truly interacted with at school were her teachers, Lexa, and Hope. But due to recent developments, Penelope was hoping to add another person to that list.

The raven haired girl silently made her way through the doors of the school, doing her best to avoid unnecessary attention. She made an immediate beeline for her locker and began shuffling books back and forth from her backpack and locker. The sound of a hand slapping against the locker to her left made her jump and she looked up to see Lexa, grinning at her. Lexa’s green eyes stared her down and she quirked a brow.

“What’s got you so happy? Clarke let you get some last night?” Penelope smirked at her best friend. Lexa and Clarke had been together for the past two years but not before some mutual pining for another three. She was happy to finally see her best friend in love, her last relationship with Costia had nearly ruined her. Lexa deserved to be happy and Penelope liked Clarke, they got along well and Clarke was the only one that would keep up with Penelope’s occasional benders.

Lexa slapped Penelope on the arm, her ears turning a light shade of red at the raven haired girl’s comment. “She’s been busy with work but if you must know, I did see her last night. However, I didn’t come here to discuss _my_ sex life, young Lope.”

Penelope cringed at the odd nickname her friend had decided to call her when they first met at the age of five. Along with Rose, Lexa couldn’t really say Penelope’s full name back then and opted to call her _Lope,_ pronounced low-pee. Not Pen. Not Penny (even though she wouldn’t let Lexa call her that anyways) but _Lope._ That was when Penelope knew Lexa would be around for a while.

She tugged off her rider’s jacket, leaving her in an olive green v-neck T-shirt half tucked into black skinny jeans and black boots. After spending the past few summers training at Lexa’s cousin’s gym, her arms were now toned but not overly muscular. She found that working out at the gym and beating people to a pulp helped her relieve stress that riding a motorcycle couldn’t. After especially heated conversations with her mother, she always had a good training session.

Lexa reached out and grabbed Penelope’s arm, giving it a single squeeze before letting go. Her eyebrows rose and she nodded, impressed. “You’ve been hitting the gym without me, haven’t you? Both you _and_ Hope suck, so much for a buddy system now, huh?” Penelope shut her locker before turning her body to fully face the brunette.

“Maybe I just work harder than you do when we’re there. But I have been doing some more cardio. I’d recommend it unless you want to keep being squishy.” Penelope shot her friend a patronizing look before smirking. “Hope found this new circuit that she’s been obsessed with ever since. It totally kicks my ass but,“ Penelope flexed her arm, a hard muscle making itself visible on her bicep. “It’s been working. Anyways, what about my sex life has you so interested now? I love you but you’re not really my type.”

Lexa rolled her eyes and gestured with her chin to something over Penelope’s shoulder. She spared a quick glance, making brief eye contact with the girl that plagued Penelope’s dreams the night before. Josie was wearing a red long sleeve top that was crossed dangerously close to barely being in violation of dress code. A layered black ruffled skirt sat on her hips and her long legs were on display. Her hair on one side was tucked behind her ear while the rest fell on the opposite shoulder. Penelope felt her stomach do a flip and she quickly turned her head back to her friend.

A mistake.

Lexa had an ear to ear grin on her face and slapped her hands onto Penelope’s shoulder. “Little birdie told me about your guys’ little chat yesterday. And I know you don’t want my opinion but I’m giving it to you anyways,” Penelope rolled her eyes and ran a hand through her black curls.

“Go talk to her. Walk her to class, hold her books or whatever. Just make it known that you at least like her a little. Girls like Josie don’t stay single for long because c’mon,” Lexa threw a glance back over at her and Penelope followed her eye line. A few guys from the football team were walking past Josie, saying a shy greeting to the beautiful girl. Josie just smiled and gave them a small wave before turning her attention back to something in her locker.

“So, game plan. You’re gonna go over and say hi, right?” Lexa looked at her pointedly and Penelope narrowed her gaze at the girl. “I know how to talk to a girl, Lexa. Josie isn’t any different. Sure, she’s beautiful and has the cutest smile that I’ve seen in a while and her eyes are just so big and brown that I get lost in them sometimes but…” She trailed off quietly, finally registering the words as they left her lips. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and began chewing, a worry line forming between her brows. Lexa just looked at her with a smirk.

“God damn it.”

Her friend laughed, a little too loudly actually. “You are actually _so_ whipped, oh my gosh. You’ve barely even talked to her! Oh man, I can’t wait until you hold a real conversation with her. Not to mention how you’re gonna be when you guys fu— Oh shit, she’s looking. Oh my god she’s looking this way be cool _be cool._ ”

Lexa immediately turned on her heel and practically ran down the hall. Penelope felt goosebumps starting to line her arms and she gulped. She could feel a pair of eyes watching her now. _Get your shit together, Park._ Inhale. Exhale. She turned around and was immediately greeted with the big brown eyes that Penelope had fell asleep thinking of the night before. Her boots were heavy but it felt close to nothing as she made her way down the hall to Josie’s locker. She stared back at Penelope, a warm smile lining those pouty lips of hers as she turned her body to greet the girl in front of her.

“Good morning, how are you?” She said first. Penelope scrambled for words in her brain, _what do you say again? Hello? Just say something you dumbass._ Where did all her cool from the day before go? She held her ground against Josie’s flirty banter yesterday but now she could barely form a coherent sentence. Her green eyes darted from Josie’s eyes down her body with lightning speed in hopes that she didn’t catch it. The girl couldn’t think when Josie wore a skirt like this, who could? As their eyes met once more, Penelope felt her cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

Josie _definitely_ just caught Penelope checking her out. Oh god.

“Better now that you’re here,” She managed to get out. Her voice nearly cracked at her poor attempt to act put together. She cleared her throat before letting the smile she’s been holding back all morning line her lips. “I actually wanted to catch you before school. You haven’t changed your mind about later tonight, right?” If Josie heard any trace of insecurity in Penelope’s words, she didn’t acknowledge it. Josie just smiled as she shut her locker softly and leaned against it.

“I was going to ask you the same question. To be honest, I think I’ll be looking forward to it all day.” Relief washed over the dark haired girl and she let out a small breath.

“Can I walk with you to class?”

A loud hand smacked against the locker right behind Penelope’s head that caused her to nearly jump into Josie. But she caught herself, letting only her hand fall onto Josie’s arm before quickly retracting it. The two girls shared a blush before turning around to face the culprit. Josie’s sister Lizzie stood there, towering over the two girls with an angry glare. The corner of her lip pulled up in a snarl as she stared at Penelope.

“Josie. What are you doing with this one here? I didn’t know you guys were friends.” Penelope quirked a brow. How could this girl not like her already? She barely spoke two words to the girl, most of the time spent just passing by each other in the hallway.

Lizzie was wearing her cheerleader uniform. A bright yellow that reminded Penelope of Cheez Whiz lined with white along the edges. The school’s logo, a white and red stallion sat right in the center of her chest on top of the school’s name, **Salvatore Stallions.**

Lizzie gave her sister a pointed look and gestured to Penelope as if asking, _Well?_ Penelope looked back over at Josie as she huffed out a breath. “Her name’s Penelope and we just became friends. Be nice, Lizzie.” Penelope detected the slightest hint of a threat in her tone that gave Penelope a little too much hope.

“Finn’s been looking for you, he said he’s going to find you at lun— Where’s your uniform?” Any and all interest in relaying Finn's message to Josie gone out the window in that second. The look in Lizzie’s eyes was as if she had just been slapped across the face when she finally realized what Josie was wearing. Did she really not even acknowledge Josie enough to see that she was dressed differently?

Josie just rolled her eyes and shifted her weight from one foot to the other, suddenly nervous. Penelope’s eyes darted back and forth between the twins as she tried to assess the situation. Why was Josie suddenly so nervous?

“The game isn’t for another twelve hours. She can always change into it later.” Penelope piped up. Lizzie snapped her gaze back to the dark haired girl and she flashed an innocent smirk back at the blonde. “I wasn’t talking to you, Satan. Now if you’ll excuse me, my sister and I have to go to class. Scurry off now.” She waved her hand as if it would’ve made Penelope disappear. She furrowed her brow and turned her head to the classroom right across from them.

“You know I’m in the same first period, right?” A muscle in Lizzie’s mouth twitched and Josie brought her hand to her mouth to hide a smile.

Lizzie stared her down hard. The air suddenly grew tense and Penelope knew better than to start a fight with the sister of a girl she’s trying to get to know. She looked over at Josie, she had an amused smile on her face but her eyes were nervous as they glanced back and forth from her and her sister.

Penelope sighed inwardly. Normally she wouldn’t back down from a good fight, but it was way too early to be starting anything now. She stepped away from the two sisters, her black boots squeaking against the linoleum of the school hallway and threw one last glance at Josie.

“I’ll see you inside, Josie. Lizzie,” The blonde crossed her arms over her chest, jaw set as she stared silently back at the green eyed girl. “Try not to pop a blood vessel from all the smiling. Save it for the parents at the game.” She made sure to keep her facial features calm and collected, not letting the obvious nerves show to Lizzie. Penelope didn’t know how Josie was going to react if she got into it with her sister but Penelope wasn’t going to let anyone walk over her. Not anymore.

As she turned around to make her way to class, Lizzie’s voice calling back to her made her stop dead in her tracks.

“At least my parents are present in my life. When was the last time yours even hugged you, Park? Or is the idea of having you as a daughter enough to drive them away?”

Penelope’s breath caught in her throat. She hadn’t been doing a good enough job to keep her home situation as quiet as she wanted. Not a lot of people knew about her relationship with her parents, so how the hell did Lizzie Saltzman of all people know? Penelope balled her fists, the tips of her fingernails digging into the fleshy part of her palms hard enough to nearly draw blood.

She whirled around to stare daggers at the blonde. A hand was over her mouth and her blue eyes were wide in shock, like she didn’t know what she was saying. Josie was frozen in the spot next to her with one hand on Lizzie’s wrist. It took every ounce of self control for Penelope to not beat this girl to a pulp. Faintly, she could feel a hand squeeze her shoulder. She could just barely make out the brown hair and green eyes of her best friend.

“Pen..”

“Penelope I—“ Lizzie stuttered. Her mouth kept moving but no words came out. A disbelieving smile pulled at Penelope’s lips as she shook her head.

“Amazing. Your ego won’t even allow you to apologize. What did I ever do to you anyways? You don’t even know me yet you think you can talk about my parents. You’re such a typical high school bully, picking on the girl you don’t even know just because you can. Find a new hobby.” Penelope spat before being tugged away by Lexa. She didn’t meet Josie’s eyes but she could feel the brunette staring holes into the back of her head. Thankfully, the hallway had mostly cleared out but there were still students that caught majority of Lizzie and Penelope’s argument.

Lexa dragged Penelope through multiple doors until they reached the stairwell leading up to the roof. The doors to the roof were supposed to be locked but the two girls made friends with the janitor and managed to swipe a copy of the key.

Fresh air filled Penelope’s lungs as the door swung open and she stumbled onto the rocky floor. Her fists finally unclenched as she felt the anger slowly dissipate. Don’t get her wrong, she was absolutely still fuming, but the cool morning air was just what she needed to cool off. She pulled her backpack off her shoulder and set it on the ground next to the bench on the roof. Plopping down on the seat, she leaned her head back and shut her eyes. Penelope could hear Lexa walk around the bench to sit next to her. She nudged her with her shoulder and Penelope opened one eye to stare at the girl.

“I didn't pull you out because I thought you were gonna lose it. Frankly, Lizzie would've deserved it. But people were staring and, well, I figured we might as well take the day off." Lexa handed her a sandwich that she had dug out from her backpack. Penelope reached for it slowly, turning the sandwich around in her hands. 

"Do you think I'm a mistake?" It wasn't often that they talked about heavy stuff like this. Their friendship didn't consist of a lot of heavy conversations about their deeply rooted issues but every now and then, it would come up. No matter how much Penelope didn't want words like Lizzie's get to her, 

"No more than I am. Don't let what she said get to your head, Pen. It's not worth it." The brunette began unraveling the plastic wrap from her sandwich before taking a bite. "I can't believe Josie's related to a bitch like Lizzie. They're twins but they couldn't _be_ more different." Penelope cringed at her friend's tendency to talk with a full mouth. She shook her head and took a bite of her own sandwich. "But they are. I just hope I can still get to know Josie, there's something about her that I can't shake."

++

The two of them spent the rest of the morning on the roof of the school. Penelope had told Lexa multiple times that she didn't need to keep her company and should go attend her classes, but the girl refused. Instead, they spent their time talking about life. The holidays were coming up and they usually spent it at Lexa's cousin Lincoln's house. Penelope's mother rarely came home for the holidays since Robert passed, opting to spend her time at work instead. But it's not like she minded. Spending the holidays either alone or with her friends was guaranteed to be more pleasurable compared to spending it with Sabine.

Morning soon turned to afternoon, and as the final bell rang, Penelope sat up from the ground. She had been taking a nap on a laid out towel that she hid on the roof for times she just didn't want to be in class. Her neck was stiff from using her lumpy backpack as a pillow and her butt was sore, but she felt refreshed. Penelope looked around only to find that she was by herself. Lexa must have left to get something to eat again while she was sleeping. She stretched her arms above her head, waiting for a delicious pop from her shoulder before huffing out a satisfied sigh. It must've been two hours since she fell asleep and now school was over. 

Oh.

_School was over._

Penelope quickly scrambled to grab her back, combed her fingers through her hair a few times and ran down the stairwell to the school hallway. Students were still lingering by their lockers as she scanned the area until her eyes fell on Josie. She changed into her cheerleading uniform and if Penelope thought her brain couldn't function before, it was definitely short circuiting now. 

The uniform was tight hugged her body in just the right places, showcasing all the curves that would otherwise be hidden. Her skirt was even shorter than before and Penelope gulped as she slowly walked up to her. Josie was adjusting the high ponytail on her head when she caught Penelope's eye. Her expression was unreadable, was she mad? Did she feel guilty? Surely Josie would be pissed that she had gotten into a tiff with Lizzie and now she was going to give the girl a piece of her mind. 

Penelope stopped a few feet away from Josie and gave a small smile. 

"Hey."

"Hey.." Josie responded quietly. One of her hands rested on the locker door while the other played with the edge of her skirt. 

_Oh gosh, please don't do that. Don't show any more skin than you already are._

"I tried to find you at lunch. You must be great at hide n seek." Josie's voice pulled Penelope out from her thoughts and their eyes met. She had a little smirk on her lips that only made the one on Penelope's face grow. She was still making jokes with her, that was a good sign, right? 

"I'm sorry about Lizzie. She had no place to say what she did and she shouldn't have said it at all. I'm not asking you to forgive her right now, but maybe think-"

Penelope held up her hand to cut her off. Woah woah, wait, _what?_ Was she taking Lizzie's side on this? 

"Lizzie absolutely had no place to say anything about my personal life, I'll agree with you on that. But unless she can get over her ego and apologize, I'm not doing anything, Josie." The brown eyed girl visibly stiffened at Penelope's words before nodding. "She fucked up, this is on her."

Her hand dropped to her side as she stared into Josie's eyes. "I didn't come here to talk about her. I wanted to talk about later," Josie shut her locker with more force than needed and leaned against it. 

"I understand if you want to cancel, especially after today. But I just want to say that--" Josie began speaking so fast that Penelope felt like she was hit with whiplash. Her hand reached out to take Josie's wrist and gave it a squeeze, effectively shutting the girl up.

"Woah woah, hey, I'm not here about that. I was actually here to ask if you still wanted to get dinner. Your sister might be a piece of work but, let's not let that affect our relationship now, okay?" Josie grinned at Penelope, the apples of her cheeks heating up in a blush. Penelope didn't realize her poor choice of words until _after_ registering the blush on Josie's face. 

Her eyes widened and she quickly let go of Josie's wrist. "I-- Not that we're in a relationship right now, I meant the connection that we have. A platonic, relationship, a friendship! But that's also open to possibly something more? Eventually? Not that I'm assuming I jus--" 

It was Josie's turn to grab Penelope by the shoulders and cut her off. 

"Pen, it's okay. I understand what you're saying. Relax before you pass out from lack of oxygen." She sucked in a loud breath, suddenly aware of the fact that she hadn't taken in any air since she started rambling. Josie was standing closer to her now. All she had to do was take half a step and lean in to kiss her. And _god,_ did she want to kiss her. 

Penelope swallowed loudly as Josie's hands slid off her shoulders, she felt the loss immediately. 

"Will you walk me to the field?" 

"Yes!" Penelope blurted out quickly. Her gaze turned up and down the hall, thankfully they were alone now and no one saw her embarrassing outburst. "Sorry, it's just that we seem to get interrupted a lot." She said sheepishly as a hand rubbed the back of her neck. She gestured with her head in the direction of the double doors that led out to the football field. Josie fell into step beside her, chuckling quietly. 

"I have noticed that. I guess we need to work on our timing, huh?" They walked side by side close enough that every so often their shoulders would brush against each other. Any touches they shared were shy and tentative, not wanting to do too much to scare the other off. If only Penelope knew that Josie had watched her from a distance for months now, silently willing herself to make a move. But anytime she finally mustered up the courage, either Lizzie or Finn would pull her away or that girl with the long brown braid came up to steal Penelope's attention away. 

Josie looked over at the girl walking next to her, her eyes traced the curve of Penelope's full lips, the sharpness of her little nose and finally settled on the vivid green of her eyes. She felt a blush creep up her neck and she quietly cleared her throat to ask a question but Penelope beat her to it. 

"Lizzie said that Finn wanted to find you during lunch, I'll take it that he wasn't too happy when you were gone?" Penelope gave a smile and a playful nudged. Josie tensed slightly but relaxed before Penelope could question it. "I'm free to do whatever I please, and if it was truly important then he would've found me sooner."

Penelope quirked a brow at the girls words. They had made it through the double doors and were now outside on the path down to to the football field. "What's his deal anyways? He seems to keep bugging you about stuff, like at the diner when he wanted you to wear his jersey. It was like he was trying to be your boyfriend or something." Josie smiled at Penelope's obvious annoyance but she felt something in the pit of her stomach as she stopped walking, hand fiddling with the hem of her skirt again. Penelope made it two steps before realizing that Josie was still behind her and turned around, a curious expression on her face. 

"That's because he is." 

"What?"

"..Finn's my boyfriend." 

_Oh._

Oh.

_Fuck me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeek, comments? Concerns? Honestly I probably should've mapped stuff out a lot better but I've just been writing whatever comes to mind due to sheer boredom and avoidance of school work. If there are any errors I apologize, I just wanted to get this stuff out on paper first, edits will come later.


	3. But Here We Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie explains herself then the football game happens. The date?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Waaaah, thank you all so much for the kudos and comments! Hope you all like this chapter, I am also open to your guys' suggestions so let me know down below. Enjoy ~

Astronomy was one of Penelope’s first loves. As a child, she would spend hours upon hours just stargazing from her room balcony. Her father Robert was the one to introduce Penelope to constellations.

On days that he would stay at home with his daughter while Sabine worked long hours for the company, they would camp out on the balcony with their goto stargazing snack; homemade hot chocolate. Not that crappy powder stuff.

_“You don’t know hot chocolate until you’ve had my hot chocolate, sweetie. It’s a secret family recipe but I’ll tell you, okay?” Robert said to his daughter with the biggest grin on his face. “The secret is to add melted fudge to the mix.”_

++

The closest thing Penelope got to stargazing now was staring up at the ceiling in her room. She laid on her bed, exhausted from the day’s activities and thought over everything that happened. More so about the conversation she had with Josie.

_“Finn.. is ..your boyfriend?” The words left Penelope’s lips breathlessly. She was stunned. Josie was in a relationship.. with Finn, nonetheless. She didn’t know what kind of face she was making but it surely couldn’t have been good because Josie took two tentative steps towards the darker haired girl._

_“Well.. not officially. We’ve only been on a few dates, but by definition.. yes, he is. And he calls me his girlfriend so I guess I kind of went along with it?” Josie said, her hands making wild movements as she tried to get the point across. “Lizzie wants me to date him so much that sometimes I think she’s the one that really wants him. I mean, it’s not normal for her to be so invested in our relationship right?”_

_Penelope stared at the girl in front of her. Had she read the signs wrong? Was Josie just being nice this entire time and Penelope had twisted it in her mind to think she was flirting with her? No, that couldn’t be it._

_“You were flirting with me.” Was all she managed to get out in between Josie’s rant._

_Josie stopped, her hands falling to her side and she huffed out a breath._

_“I was.” A beat of silence. “You were flirting with me too.”_

_“I don’t have a boyfriend.” The words came out a little harsher than Penelope anticipated and she shut her eyes, sighing. When she opened them again she stared back at Josie._

_“I’m not sure if Finn and I will work out to be honest. It’s still early days for us. But I am sure that I want to hang out with you after the game today.”_

_Penelope mulled the idea over in her head for a little while. Everything made sense now. Finn’s warning to her to stay away. Lizzie’s obvious dislike for Penelope before she even had a conversation with the girl._

_This wasn’t a good idea. Getting involved with a girl that supposedly had a boyfriend was not something that Penelope needed right now. Or maybe this is just her overthinking the situation all over again and Josie just wanted to be friends._

++

_The game was awkward. It was the first time that she had ever attended a football game and of course, it was for a girl. Finding a seat was even more awkward. Lexa avoided sports events just as much as Penelope did so it wasn’t like she could call her up. She kept scanning the bleachers for an empty spot to sit, preferably on an aisle or something so she could make a quick get away once the game ended._

_It wasn’t until a pale hand clapped Penelope on the shoulder that Penelope turned her attention to the slightly shorter red head next to her._

_“I never thought I’d see you of all people here. What’s wrong, are you feeling okay?” Hope grinned up at her friend. Where the hell had she been? Penelope followed as Hope trudged up a few steps before settling in the center of a partially filled row smack dab in the center of the bleachers._

_“Okay, two questions. 1. Where the hell were you all day? And 2. Since when do you go to football games?” The raven haired girl turned slightly in her seat to interrogate her friend. There was a reason why the three girls all got along so well, their interests were the same along with their disinterests._

_Hope pointed a slender hand down towards the field at the school’s poor attempt of a mascot. Having a horse as your mascot proved quite difficult when you try to translate it over to a costume for some poor kid to wear._

_“The guy I’m dating is the mascot. We have a date after the game and he wanted me to come and cheer him on. I’m not entirely sure what that’s supposed to mean though..” She completely avoided Penelope’s first question but the green eyed girl suddenly forgot what the conversation was about. Hope continued on with her explanation of how they met in history class and totally hit it off. But Penelope wasn’t listening, when she followed Hope’s gesture to the field she immediately caught Josie’s eyes. Her stomach did a weird flip when Josie gave her a shy smile followed by a little wave. Penelope raised her hand to return the gesture but someone had called Josie’s name and her attention was torn away._

_“What are you smiling at?”_

_Penelope’s green eye snapped back to her friend and narrowed._

_“No one. Who’s under the hood?” Hope threw a glance back towards the field, suddenly pleased with what she saw before cocking a brow._

_“Oh. You totally have a crush on Josie Saltzman, don’t you?”_

_Penelope’s reflex was to smack Hope on the arm but the red head was quick to catch her hand. Damn those training sessions._

_“What’s it to you?”_

_“You know she has a boyfriend, right?”_

_“We’re just friends!” Penelope shot back, not missing a beat. “And how do even know what’s going on? You weren’t in school today.”_

_Hope scoffed, finally releasing the girls hand and crossed her arms. “I only missed the first two periods but I actually was in school. I know you weren’t though, Lexa texted me about what Lizzie said.”_

_Penelope sighed, her annoyance at her friend slowly dissipating. “It’s whatever. I don’t care anymore.”_

_Hope stared at her friend, blue eyes soft as she took in Penelope’s state. She knew the topic of family was always a soft spot for the girl. Hope herself had her fair share of family issues so just like Lexa, she could relate. What a trio they were._

_Silence fell on the two as they both glued their eyes to the football field in front of them. The game had started already and the cheerleaders were doing a quick routine to try and get the crowd excited. Her eyes found Josie too easily and stayed there for the rest of the routine until Hope drew Penelope’s attention away._

_“You know I grew up with them, the Saltzman Twins. I could help you with Josie.”_

_The raven haired girl snapped her head to look at her friend, eyes wide. “What?”_

_“I said I could help yo—“_

_“You’ve known them since you were kids?”_

_“Well, yeah.”_

_“How come you never said anything?”_

_  
“It didn’t seem important.”_

_Penelope chewed on her bottom lip, suddenly overwhelmed with the information her friend just dropped on her. She could imagine young Hope playing with a little Josie and Penelope hated how the thought made her smile. Oh man, she was stuck._

_“Thanks for the offer, but I want to do this on my own terms. Plus, like you said, she has a boyfriend. I’m not interested in playing home wrecker.” She pursed her lips, thinking over her next words carefully. “But is it bad that I still kind of want to?”_

_Hope smiled and nudged her shoulder with hers. “Can’t fault you for it, she’s a pretty girl. Her and Finn have only been dating a short while anyways so it’s not like it would be a loss.”_

_Penelope nodded at her friends words, her green eyes following Josie down on the field. She was at the bottom with two other people catching the flier with ease as they tossed her like a rag doll. The muscles in her arms flexed each time she heaved the small cheerleader into the air and again when she caught her. Penelope tore her eyes away, suddenly feeling bad for ogling the brunette like a piece of meat._

_“We have a date after the game.”_

_“What!” Hope threw an arm around Penelope and squeezed her. Out of all three of them, Hope was probably the strongest whenever they’d train at the gym. It got to the point where Penelope and Lexa would play rock paper scissors to see who had to spar with her. It was almost guaranteed that something would be bruised for a while after._

_Penelope quickly tapped Hope’s arm that was now around her neck and effectively cutting off her air supply._

_“I tap! I tap!” She croaked out. Hope quickly released her friend and Penelope gasped for breath and brought a hand up to rub her neck._

_“Jeez, Mikaelson. What, do you lift 300 now? I thought my neck was going to crack.”_

_Hope barked out a laugh and shrugged. “275 but who’s counting. Anyways, you guys have a date? Who asked who?”_

_From the field, Penelope could feel a pair of eyes bore into her side profile as she went the details over with Hope. “I asked her and she said yes. Initially, it was just gonna be a harmless dinner but she used the word date. That was before she told me she had a boyfriend though.” Her green eyes flickered over to the field briefly. Josie was talking with Lizzie about something when Finn jogged up to her. His hand rested on her elbow as he talked, a wide grin plastered on his face the entire time._

_She turned away. “How much do you want to bet that Finn won’t be happy about that?”_

_Penelope scoffed and set her hands on the bleacher seat to lean back slightly. “Whether or not Finley is happy isn’t my concern.”_

_Hope shrugged again and turned to face the field. A huge smile pulled at her lips and she waved at someone. Penelope’s gaze followed Hope’s and she cocked a brow._

_There, at the bottom of the field next to the cheerleaders was their mascot. Clad in a sports jersey, basketball shorts and a huge horse head, the mascot waved back at Hope._

_“I still can’t believe you’re dating the mascot. What has the great Hope Mikaelson succumb to?”_

_“What can I say? I’m a sucker for a cutie.”_

_++_

_It hadn’t occurred to Penelope that she had no way of communicating with Josie until the game ended. She also didn’t know what car she drove either so it wasn’t like she just could wait there._

_Instead, she settled for waiting right outside the entrance of the school. She set her backpack on the floor and leaned up against the hard brick wall of Salvatore High. Students were starting to file out of the parking lot, talks about heading to the after party or grabbing dinner filled the air._

_Penelope stared at her boots, they were freshly polished just yesterday but it already had a scuff on the tip of the boot._

_A pair of slender legs walked into her view and she looked up. Josie had changed out of her cheerleader uniform and back into the clothes she was wearing that morning._

_“Were you waiting long?” Penelope shook her head, a big smile lining her lips. “Not at all. Now, I know I asked you out for dinner but I just have my bike. I understand if you’re not comfortable riding it so we can take your car instead if you want?”_

_Josie’s eyes followed Penelope’s gaze over to the parking spot where her motorcycle sat. Her eyes widened, she had never even sat on a motorcycle before. What would her parents think? She looked back over at Penelope and flashed a mischievous smile. “I usually ride with Lizzie to school and she has the car tonight. Don’t tell me this was just all part of some plan to get me on the back of your bike now,”_

_Penelope just returned the smile. She liked this back and forth that the two of them shared. It put her mind at ease to see that Josie was willing to flirt with her as much as she was._

_“You’ve got me.”_

_Thankfully, Penelope kept her spare helmet in the compartment under her seat. She handed it to Josie, quirking a brow and the brunette rolled her eyes. Her breath most definitely didn’t catch when she felt Josie’s arms snake around her midsection. The darker haired girl was suddenly extremely thankful for always doing an extra set of ab workouts._

_The ride to the restaurant was quick. The Friday night air was cool and refreshing as they rode in silence up until they arrived. Once they were seated in a booth, Penelope ran her hand through her hair a few times to get rid of the helmet hair._

_“So, Jojo. Tell me about yourself.” She gave her best smirk before taking a sip from her water._

_“Jojo? That’s new, no one’s ever called me that before.” The girl’s smirk only grew even more and she shrugged. “Then I guess that’ll be my special nickname for you.”_

_“Special nickname? Does that mean I get to give you one too?” Josie smiled that sweet smile and it made Penelope’s heart flutter._

_“You can call me whatever you want, Jojo.”_

_++_

_They had been sat at the restaurant for more than an hour now, their meals long forgotten as they got lost in conversation._

_“You mean to tell me that you had a crush on Hope as a kid and when you thought she was going to find out, you sabotaged her and Lizzie’s friendship by spreading a fake rumor?”_

_The tips of Josie’s ears turned pink and she dropped her gaze to the table. Penelope only smiled at her and reached over to rest her hand on top of hers. “You’re feisty, Saltzman. I like it.”_

_“Lizzie didn’t seem to think so when she found out, she was fuming. But that’s all water under the bridge now, however her and Hope still aren’t really friends.” She squeezed Penelope’s hands and began playing with her fingers. “Speaking of Lizzie..”_

_Penelope held her free hand up to cut her off. “We’re having a pretty good time right now, do we really have to talk about her?” Josie’s shoulders sagged._

_“Will you tell me about your parents?”_

_Penelope stiffened a bit. She rarely talked about them with Lexa or Hope. Her head was screaming at her to say no and move on to another topic, like what did Josie like to watch when she was sick? But another part of her wanted to just spill her guts to the girl and hope she’d be there with open arms._

_“My dad died a few years ago. He was in an accident,” She turned their hands over, tracing Josie’s palm softly with her pointer finger. “He was my best friend. We did everything together, stargazing was my favorite. My relationship with my mom was never the best. She was always working and a part of me believes that she never wanted to be a mother.” Josie’s gaze softened on the girl and she reached over to connect both their hands._

_“Then when he passed, things just kind of got worse. She got busier and any time we talked it almost always ended in a shouting match. A part of me blames myself for his death because he had gone out to get something for me. I think she does too.”_

_“You don’t know that, Pen.” Green eyes flickered up to chocolate brown ones at the nickname. “Everyone processes grief differently. In this case, your mom threw herself further into work. Your dad went out because he wanted to, what happened to him was just an unlucky circumstance.”_

_Penelope squeezed Josie’s hands as she listened. Her brows were furrowed close together as she took in a deep breath. “I’ve never talked about this with anyone other than Hope or Lexa. Even then, it was brief and I didn’t want to go into details.”_

_Josie smiled warmly at Penelope. “Thank you for trusting me enough.”_

_By the time they left the restaurant, it was near closing. Penelope felt like she was on cloud nine after talking to Josie for hours. Now, they were both on her motorcycle so Penelope could drive the girl home. Josie lived around two miles away from the school and almost in the same area as Penelope. Penelope pulled up on the street right in front of Josie’s house and turned off her bike. She waited for Josie to climb off before doing the same and pulling her helmet off._

_Even with windswept helmet hair, she was beautiful. She took the spare helmet from Josie’s hands and set it on the seat behind her._

_“I had a great time tonight.” Josie said quietly. Her eyes never left Penelope’s green ones the entire time as she took one step closer. The air suddenly felt thick and Penelope suddenly became very aware of her heartbeat._

_“Me too. Let’s do this again sometime?” Josie chuckled and Penelope took that as an opportunity to close the distance between them. They were face to face now with only inches between their lips. Penelope’s eyes flickered down to Josie’s pouty lip then back up to her eyes. This was the perfect time to kiss her. Josie wanted her to kiss her and oh man, did Penelope want to._

_It was hard to tell who initiated things, but the next thing Penelope knew they were both leaning in. Penelope’s lips were about to make contact with Josie’s when a loud car honk startled the both of them. Both girls jumped apart quickly, putting way too much space between them that only made it obvious something was going on._

_Penelope turned her head to the culprit that ruined their first kiss only to see it was the neighbors down the street. She sighed, the moment was definitely ruined. But Penelope spoke too soon when another car pulled up to Josie’s street and her eyes widened._

_Oh, fuck me. Can I just catch a break?_

_Finn stepped out of the car, flowers in hand as he jogged up the sidewalk to Josie’s side. “Hey, I didn’t get to talk to you after the game. I wanted to give you these,” He handed Josie the flowers. The girl was frozen, her eyes wide and mouth agape. Her eyes darted back and forth between her boyfriend and the girl she almost kissed._

_“Sorry, I went to grab dinner with Penelope after the game. What are these for?” Finn cocked a brow, a confused expression on his face._

_“It’s our one month, happy anniversary.”_

_Penelope’s eyes widened. Oh man, she really can’t catch a break. Things were going too well so it was only a matter of time before things started messing up. Finn turned his gaze on the raven haired girl, his eyes hard and accusing. “Thanks for bringing Josie home, but I’ve got it from here. I’d like to talk to my girlfriend in peace now.” Josie put a hand on Finn’s arm as if asking him to back off before turning to face Penelope again. Finn took a step back at that and huffed out a breath._

_“I should get going anyways, long day. Have a good weekend, Josie.” She saw Josie’s gaze falter slightly, of course, she wouldn’t call her Jojo in front of Finn, he’d only get angrier. But she didn’t want the progress they’d made tonight to be washed away just like that._

_“You too, Pen. Get home safely, okay?”_

_++_

Penelope sighed loudly and ran her hands down her face. She had already showered the stress of today off and was more than ready to get to bed. If it wasn’t Finn, it’d be Lizzie, and if it wasn’t any of those two, then what’s next? Josie had almost kissed her, Penelope knew she wanted to. If she wasn’t happy with Finn then why was she with him? It just didn’t make sense to Penelope. Josie wasn’t like Lizzie, she wouldn’t care about keeping up appearances just because of her social status with the cheerleading team…. right?

As her eyes finally came to a close, Penelope was jolted awake by a notification on her phone. She rolled over, cracking only one eye to see who would be active this close to midnight.

_Instagram: @josiesaltzie followed you on instagram!_

_Instagram: @josiesaltzie sent you a message_

Penelope hovered her thumb over the notification for a few seconds before finally clicking on it.

_@josiesaltzie: Free for breakfast tomorrow?_


	4. To The Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all that gave kudos! It makes me happy that you guys are enjoying my story so far, here's the next chapter. Stay safe and wash your hands ~

The longer she stared at it, the longer it mocked her. It just sat there despite the girls best efforts to pin it back. Who gave it the right? What had she done wrong? Overall, she had been a fairly good person, her karma was in check. Yet, here she was.

Penelope narrowed her eyes at the strand of hair that stuck out purposefully near her bangs in an extreme cowlick. She had been patient. Carefully slicking it over with water over and over again, combing her hair in all different ways to try and get it to sit down. At last, she sighed. She didn’t want to look too done up for her breakfast date with Josie, if you could call it that anyways. Her mind began to wonder to last night, the near contact their lips almost made; Josie’s pink and full lips ready for Penelope to sink her teeth into.

She shook her head vigorously as if the picture would magically disappear in a puff of smoke. The strand of hair stood tall and proud as she did that and she sighed loudly before picking up her phone and dialing a number.

Lexa’s face soon appeared on her screen as well as Hope’s shortly after.

_“To what do I owe the pleasure of having the great Penelope FaceTime me this morning?”_ Lexa drawled, her eyes darting back and forth quickly. She was probably playing some video game.

_“Coupled with my presence, this would probably be the highlight of your day, Woods.”_ Hope piped up. She was dressed in only a sports bra and leggings, a sheen of sweat glinting on her forehead.

“Emergency conference,” Penelope said as she picked up the phone and went to her room. She spent several moments digging through a drawer in her closet before setting the phone down and holding the item she had successfully retrieved in the air.

“Is wearing a beanie too casual for a breakfast date?” The dark haired girl held up a light gray beanie in her hands to the camera where only her eyes and up were visible. Hope ripped off her boxing gloves and went to take a sip from her water.

_“You scored a second date with Saltzman?”_

_“You didn’t even tell me how the first one went!”_

“Maybe if you weren’t too busy sucking face with Clarke then I would’ve!” At the mention of her name, the blonde poked her head into view of the camera and cocked a brow.

“ _We would’ve stopped for you, Lope.”_ The blonde grinned when Penelope cringed at the terrible nickname. “How sweet. Back to the beanie, yes or no?”

“ _Yes to the beanie, but interesting to see that you took the ‘just because there’s a goalie doesn’t mean you can’t score’ saying to heart.”_ Lexa said right before she let out a groan and set the controller down. She turned her body to the camera this time, Clarke resting her head on her girlfriend’s shoulder

_“How’s good ol Finley, by the way?”_ Clarke’s eyes widened and she lurched forward to the camera. “ _Wait, is this the same Finn we’re talking about?”_

Penelope rolled her eyes and stood straight to tug the beanie on her head, carefully tucking the troublesome hair underneath. “Yes, the same Finn that cheated on you last year. Him and Josie went on a few dates and now he thinks he owns her. I was going to talk to her about that today though. I’m not going to play mistress,” The green eyed girl dropped her hands to her hips, finally satisfied with how her hair was tucked beneath the beanie. “Not anymore, at least.”

All three of her friends raised their brows and smirked. If it had been any other girl, Penelope wouldn’t have cared. She’s had her fair share of flings whether or not the other was single or not. But it got tiring being the secret mistress that girls hid behind closed doors while they walked the streets hand in hand with their boyfriends. Penelope was done with playing Ms. ‘Sexual Awakening’, she owed herself that respect.

_“He’s a dick anyways, you’d be way better for her. She’s a hottie too.”_ Clarke smirked and Lexa’s eyes widened, turning to her girlfriend. Clarke rolled her eyes and leaned in to peck the girl on the lips. _“Oh please, you’re more my type anyways._ ” Lexa grinned at that and gave her a heated kiss. _“Whoops, gotta go guys. Pen, you look great. Beanie is cool. Hope, don’t burn yourself out, we’re sparring later tonight.”_ With a click, Lexa’s video went dead and it was just Penelope and Hope.

Hope crossed her arms over her chest, the boxing gloves long gone and replaced with a water bottle and protein bar. _“Josie’s a great girl but don’t blame her if she can’t end things right away with Finn. She doesn’t necessarily like hurting people’s feelings. Clarke is right though, she would be good for you. But I know you, and you’re gonna make it difficult for her to get through your walls. Just let things happen organically, okay?”_

Penelope just nodded at her friends words. She was lucky that she managed to find people that cared about her enough to look out for her. “Who knew you were such a sap, Mikaelson. You’re getting soft,” Penelope said quietly, a smile tugging at her lips. “Thank you though. Have a good workout now, I’ll see you later?”

++

The girls had decided it was best to just meet at the breakfast spot since Josie had volunteering and Penelope would have to be at the gym later. Penelope had been so nervous that she arrived nearly half an hour earlier than the time they had agreed on. She hadn’t wanted to ruin all the work she put into fixing her hair into the beanie, so instead she took the car that her father had given to her before he passed. It was an old 1978 BMW 3 Series that he had fixed up when she was little. The interior was still it’s original smooth, black leather that Robert diligently had detailed every few weeks or so. He had gotten the exterior repainted it’s original gray in order to keep the car in mint condition as possible.

_“Before you, this was my first baby. Now.. you come to a close second.”_ He would always say.

Penelope exited the vehicle after checking her appearance for what seemed like the fourth time in five minutes. She wore light makeup, only enough to accentuate her best features. Mascara to make her green eyes pop, a little concealer to hide the fact that she had barely slept the night before and a reddish-brown lip color. For her outfit, she finally managed to settle on a black short sleeve turtleneck that ended right before her elbows and blue jeans. Not too much, not too less. Whether she wanted to acknowledge it or not, Penelope had inherited her mother’s love for fashion and would dress up as much as she could.

_You can do this._ With a deep breath, she pushed through the doors and looked around the restaurant. To her surprise, Josie was already sitting at a table in the back. As if she knew the girl was there, Josie’s brown eyes met with Penelope’s and she smiled. Penelope felt a blush crawl up her cheeks and she made her way over but not before checking the watch she always wore on her left wrist. Josie was also early.

“I didn’t get the time wrong, did I?” Penelope rushed out as she sat opposite of the girl. Josie quickly shook her head. She had her hair up in a bun today with two tendrils on each side of her face loose. She wore a white blouse with light jeans to match and Penelope was suddenly _very_ glad she hadn’t worn something more casual.

“I like to be early,” Josie said sheepishly. “And I may or may not have been a little nervous so I left the house because I didn’t want to risk messing around and end up being late.” Penelope smiled at that and shrugged. “Well, you’ve got me here now Jojo. Looks like we’re on the same wave length.”

Josie gave a shy smile as the waitress came up to take their drink orders. They both ordered a coffee and water as well as their meals before turning back to each other again. Penelope gulped, her hands suddenly feeling very sweaty. She tried her best to wipe them on her jeans in a way that Josie couldn’t tell, but the other girl was just as preoccupied by her thoughts. She had been chewing on her bottom lip since the waitress arrived previously and it peaked Penelope’s interest.

“I just wanted—“

“I have some—“

Both girls looked at each other, wide-eyed and smiled. Josie gestured for Penelope to go first and the girl nodded her head. “I just wanted to say that, I had fun last night. I know it was only one time but, I really enjoyed it. But I don’t want to give off the wrong idea. You’re with Finn and I’ll respect that, even if he’s kind of a dick.” Surprisingly, Josie chuckled. “But I want to at least be friends with you so, I’ll put up with it. Hell, I’m friends with Lexa and Hope, nothing could be worse than them.”

Penelope sucked in a breath. There. Lines in the sand. She wouldn’t cross them no matter how much Josie chewing on her lip made her just want to reach over and catch it between hers. She cleared her throat and sipped her water. Gah, when did she become such a sap like this? She was getting soft. Was it old age? Was her mental state just deteriorating? Oh god, or maybe this was her losing her control of her emotions and that’s probably menopause—

“I broke up with Finn.”

Wait.

_Huh_.

Josie’s words drew Penelope out from her thoughts and she just stared at the girl. Her green eyes wide as she took in Josie’s chocolate brown ones. Did she say what she think she said?

“You—“

“I realized after a month that I didn’t like him as much as I should have. Truthfully—“

“Wait wait,” Penelope waved her hands frantically to get the girl to stop talking. “You didn’t do this because of me or anything right?”

Josie cocked a brow and leaned forward on the table. Penelope felt herself copy Josie’s movements very slightly except her brows were knitted together in confusion.

“Someone’s a bit full of themselves, aren’t they?” Warmth flooded Penelope’s cheeks and she sat back, cleared her throat and sipped her coffee this time, the temperature burning her tongue.

“I’m kidding,” Josie took a sip of her water herself before continuing. “Truthfully, I only went out with him because of Lizzie. I tried my best to like him but there’s just something.. off? The chemistry just isn’t there, sometimes it feels like talking to him is more of a chore than something I take pleasure in… and I heard about how he treated one of his ex-girlfriends in the past.”

Penelope smiled inwardly at this. _Talking to him is more of a chore._ “Yeah, the girl he cheated on, Clarke, she’s one of my friends. I was glad when they finally broke up and she got together with Lexa. They’re good together.” They both exchanged a smile and Josie sighed.

“I wanted to tell you last night but I figured it would be better to do in person. I guess I should’ve went first, huh?” Penelope’s smile widened and she nodded. “Probably. Just kind of makes everything I said unimportant now, huh?” There was a tension released in her shoulders that Penelope didn’t know she was holding. Her fingers played with the condensation on her glass but her eyes never left Josie’s.

“Does that mean we get to officially call this a date now that you’re a free woman?” Josie laughed at this, her smile matching Penelope’s.

“I’m sorry. I never meant to put you in that weird position. It’s just.. when I saw you at the diner, I kind of forgot all reservations even though Finn was right there.” She hesitated, carefully thinking over her next words. “I just couldn’t help myself.”

Penelope’s brows rose and her signature smirk tugged at her lips. Slowly, she leaned forward with her elbows on the table, interlacing her fingers and resting her chin on them.

“Oh? Are you saying that _I,_ Penelope Park, managed to make _Josie Saltzman_ , the most selfess, goodie-two shoes, straight-laced, model student, finally be selfish?”

The tips of Josie’s ears turned a deep red and she hunched over a little, Penelope was sure she was messing with the hem of her blouse. “I can be bad when I want to.” Josie said quietly and Penelope’s brows shot to her hairline. She could feel a blush starting to dust her cheeks and she was once again wiping her palms on her jeans. The brunette’s eyes looked into Penelope’s, their color slightly darker than before and Penelope felt a chill run up her spine.

Their silent interaction was interrupted thankfully by the waitress bringing their food over. Penelope had totally forgotten about their meal and immediately went to poke at it with her fork. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Josie do the same, flickering her gaze from Penelope to her food every so often.

Conversation was easier after that. Or, as easy as it could be after Josie’s little comment. Now Penelope’s brain was just riddled with not so innocent thoughts about the girl in front of her and she had to pinch herself more than once to snap herself out of it. It was a relief though, knowing where they stood. Finn was out of the picture for the most part and they both subtlety made it known that they liked each other.

As they finished their food, they talked more about their interests. They both liked to read in their free time, Penelope more science fiction and Josie more romance novels. They both also had athleticism in common being that Josie was a cheerleader and Penelope trained at the gym. “If you come by sometime while I’m there, I’d be happy to teach you some self defense moves. The gym covers a lot of different kinds of martial arts so you can take your pick.”

Josie told Penelope about her family. She lived with Lizzie and her mom and dad. Her mom couldn’t get pregnant due to health reasons so they reached out to a family friend, Caroline, to be their surrogate who is now as much of a parent as her mom and dad. Her name came from their mom, Josette who went by Jo, while Lizzie was named after Caroline’s mother Elizabeth. Each time Josie talked about her family (yes, even Lizzie) she had this twinkle in her eye that made Penelope want to reach over and wrap her arms around the girl. In turn, Penelope told her more about her parents. How before her dad passed, she did get along with her mom to a degree. They were a happy family once, she remembered that. Sometimes if her mother was in a good mood, she would join them for breakfast and they would talk about the constellations that Penelope learned that week.

“Can I ask about your scar?” Penelope glanced up at her, mouth full of eggs as she chewed slowly. Josie’s expression was timid, scared to overstep. She cleared her throat and nodded slowly after wiping her mouth on a napkin. “My mom hit me. She was mad that I went against her wishes and bought my motorcycle. She had been wearing a ring though, so it caught and I had to get stitches. I didn’t go to a hospital though, hence the bad scarring.” Josie just looked at her, the same look that she gave her when they first interacted at the diner. Tentatively, she reached over and brushed her thumb against her brow. The contact was only soft and brief, yet it left a burning trail in its wake.

++

They had spent over two hours talking over breakfast before Penelope’s phone buzzed incessantly in her pocket. She shot Josie an apologetic look before pulling it out and seeing who messaged her.

_Prodigal Daughter Hope: Need you at the gym earlier than usual_

_Commander Lexa: Sorry to ruin your date but we figured we’re doing Josie a favor by ending it early_

Penelope rolled her eyes before firing off a text that included some choice curse words but a promise to be there soon. She set the phone on the table next to her plate and tilted her head to the side at Josie. “I have to go,” Josie returned her apologetic smile but nodded. “I figured. I actually need to go too but I didn’t want to be the one to initiate it.”

After they paid their meal, both girls coming to a compromise to split the bill since they took too long fighting over who would pay, Penelope walked Josie to her car. Finally mustering up the courage that she had around just about everyone else but Josie, she slipped her hand in the taller girls’, lacing their fingers. Josie’s cheeks turned a deeper pink and the reaffirming squeeze she gave put Penelope at ease.

As they walked deeper in the parking lot, Penelope noticed Josie’s head looking around. “Where’s your bike?” By now they had reached Josie’s car and they stopped at the driver’s side and Josie leaned against the car door. “I drove my dad’s car,” She pointed with her thumb over her shoulder at the Beamer parked a few cars down. “I try to drive it every now and then to make sure it still runs well.”

“It fits you.” Their eyes met again and Penelope inhaled a breath. Now or never. She brought her free hand up to Josie’s cheek and brushed her thumb back and forth, smiling when the other girl leaned into her hand. Green eyes flickered down to Josie’s lips before back up her eyes and a smirk lined her lips when an idea popped into her head. She leaned in slowly, watching as Josie’s eyes fluttered to a close as she anticipated Penelope’s lips and Penelope wanted nothing more than

But it never came. Instead, Penelope brushed her lips against the curve of Josie’s cheekbone. It was soft, similar to the way Josie had touched her scar earlier but had enough force behind it that Penelope’s lipstick imprinted on her cheek.

The green eyed girl pulled away, a satisfied glint in her eye as she took in Josie’s expression. Her eyes were still closed, brows knit together ever so softly and mouth just slightly agape. When her brown eyes opened, her brows furrowed further and she tilted her head in question at Penelope.

Penelope dropped her hand from Josie’s face, still smirking when she gave her a wink and turned on her heel towards her car.

“See you around, Jojo.”

++

_Smack._

_Smack._

_Smack._

It wasn’t until the fourth time that Penelope was slammed into the blue mats of the gym did she decide to speak up. Her chest heaved up and down, trying to catch her breath as she stared up at the ceiling. There were little black spots starting to cloud her vision but if she shut her eyes for long enough, they went away. Rolling onto her stomach, she pushed herself to lean back on her feet in order to look at her friend. Both were dressed in cropped compression shirts and leggings, one of many fashion choices fit for the gym.

“So. You gonna tell me what’s got your adrenaline shooting through the roof? I don’t think I can take another slam like that, I’m starting to see two of you.” Penelope breathed out as Lexa passed by with a cold water bottle for the two of them.

“Why do you think I called you? I’m pretty sure she realigned my back only to fuck it up again.” Lexa plopped down in between her two friends to form a triangle and took a sip of her own water.

“It’s Landon,” Hope finally said, cracking open her own bottle. She wiped the sweat from her forehead and moved to sit down with her legs crossed. When neither of her friends acknowledged what she said, she sighed. “Mascot boy.”

“ _Ooohh…”_ The green eyed girls said in unison, finally putting a name to the face. “What did he do?”

Hope crushed the now empty water bottle and tossed it into the nearest recycle bin. “We had a great date after the game, he didn’t kiss me, and then canceled our plans for tonight for Rafael.” Penelope nearly choked on her water. She would’ve done a spit take but she wasn’t really in the mood to get choked out by Hope again for ‘dirtying the sanctity of the gym’. She leaned over to Lexa while Hope was preoccupied with her rant, “Who’s Rafael?”

Lexa chuckled quietly. “Landon’s foster brother. He’s on the wrestling team.”

“Well, he is a mascot. Makes sense that he’s not the brightest tool in the shed.” Lexa mumbled quietly and Penelope nodded her head in agreement. “She’s got a point. That is your type, Hope. All your past boyfriends were never on the same level as you.”

Hope furrowed a brow. “What do you mean?”

Penelope scoffed. “Look me in the eye and tell me Roman had more than two braincells.” Now it was Lexa’s turn to choke on her water. Hope’s cheeks colored a deeper shade of red than they already were from the workout.

“It’s still new, Hope. Don’t beat yourself up about it. What did his brother need anyways?” Penelope asked before taking another sip. The water had helped with her vision considerably and she could feel the soreness in her muscles already.

“Something about helping with his ex. They didn’t end on good terms so he wants to try and mend the bridge between them, his words verbatim.” Hope rolled her eyes and began pacing. The irritation was practically seeping out of her pores and Penelope just casted a glance over at Lexa. ‘ _Your turn_ ’, she mouthed. “Who’s the ex?”

“I don’t know, I barely knew Rafael existed before I started seeing Landon and I still don’t know much about him now other than they grew up together.” Hope lurched towards Lexa who had stood up and faced her. The smaller girl shot out an arm to grab Lexa’s while her opposite leg moved to sweep under the taller girls feet to knock her flat on her back. Penelope watched the back muscles bulged through Hope’s compression shirt as she did the move, impressed that she had managed to surpass Lexa. However there was also the possibility that Lexa was just playing nice so her friend could take out her anger.

Hope sucked in a breath, her chest heaving quickly once again. Sweat trickled down the pale column of her neck and onto the collar of her shirt where it caught. The red head noticed Penelope staring at her and she smirked. “See something you like?”

Penelope scoffed and crushed her water bottle. “Please. You’re not my type.” She got to her feet and went over to her gym bag at the edge of the mat. “You wouldn’t be able to handle me anyways, Mikaelson.”

Hope let out a laugh and turned back to Lexa. “Stop fucking around and show me what you’ve got.”

There weren’t a lot of notifications on her phone when Penelope went to check. She had been at the gym for nearly three hours now, losing braincells as she let Hope use her as a punching bag. She continued to scroll around when a notification from Instagram that was sent half an hour ago caught her eye. She clicked on the message thread she had with Josie and smiled.

_@josiesaltzie: Hope the rest of your day goes well. I’m stuck with helping Lizzie and her friend on a project._

_@josiesaltzie: Attachment: 1 Image_

Penelope clicked on the photo and immediately her stomach did a backflip. It was selfie of Josie still in the same outfit from this morning, her bottom lip was jutting out in a pout and behind her was Lizzie leaning dangerously close to a paper mache volcano. She smiled at the photo, finally deciding to ‘like’ it after seconds of heavy deliberation.

_@penelopepark: Please tell me the volcano is close to erupting in Lizzie’s face—_

No. Was this an opportunity to flirt? The girl sent her a selfie for Pete’s sake. She quickly deleted the message, the black cursor blinking at her.. _mockingly._

_@penelopepark: Keep that pout to yourself unless you intend to shar—_

No no no. Too forward. She quickly deleted that too and sighed, running a hand through her black curls. Her eyes went over to Hope and Lexa sparring on the mat, Lexa had finally gave in and flipped the smaller girl like a rag doll.

_@penelopepark_ : _A cute girl just sent me an even cuter selfie so it’s going even better now. Best of luck with Lizzie, I can only imagine the torment. See you Monday?_

_Sent._

Penelope sighed, that message taxed her almost as much as being slammed into the mat did. It was only seconds later when her phone dinged in a response, that girl was _not_ shy in waiting.

_@josiesaltzie: Can’t wait, see you at your locker. x_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shall we Josie's POV on the events thus far next chapter, anyone?


	5. Little by Little

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Josie POV of everything that's happened so far. Mostly a little filler chapter for some insight but a lil bit of domestic/fluff at the end. Didn't realize it's been a week since the last chapter so sorry about that. Enjoy!

Penelope Park was hot. Like. _Extremely_. How was it possibly allowed that someone could be so breathtaking? More often than she’d like to admit, Josie had caught herself staring across the hall at the darker haired girl all throughout their years of schooling. But Penelope never noticed Josie. That was how things often went, Josie would be the forgotten one while everyone else flocked to Lizzie; having platinum blonde hair and pale skin to match did help.

Eventually, Josie had had enough of being casted aside as the ‘boring’ twin and impulsively said yes when Lizzie asked if she wanted to tryout for the cheer team. She had always been flexible so she figured, why not? _Maybe it would be enough to get Penelope to notice._ However if you asked Josie, she would just say it was another opportunity to bond with her sister. Just because they were twins didn’t mean that they always had the same interests, surprisingly enough, they were near polar opposites.

So that’s how Josie found herself in a cheer uniform and weeks later, on a date with Finn Collins. She had heard about him in the past, it wasn’t hard for information about everyone on the football team to leak out into the public. Finn had cheated on his previous girlfriend of a year, a girl named Clarke that was a little older than them. The knowledge of it made Josie feel uneasy but Lizzie wouldn’t stop bugging her about the date until she said yes to Finn. One yes turned to two, then suddenly they were on their sixth date. By definition, they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Finn had called her that at least to people on the team and the cheerleaders, but Josie found it hard to use the words ‘boyfriend’ and ‘Finn’ together in a positive connotation.

He was sweet to her though, he would surprise her with flowers every now and their dates weren’t terribly bad. Finn had definitely pulled out the stops to try and woo Josie any chance he could get. If she had been truly interested in him, they would’ve been a great fit, but the chemistry just wasn’t there. Every time he would take her hand in his or he would put an arm around her shoulders, she was more uncomfortable than anything. Each time their eyes met, she felt nothing. Nothing compared to the feeling she got when she looked into a certain pair of green eyes.

Then suddenly, it happened. It was her second shift at the diner that week when she walked in and sat down at a booth. She had a helmet in one hand and a backpack in the other, most likely filled with her schoolwork. Her coworkers had told her all about the people that came into the diner but she didn’t know Penelope was the ‘hot biker girl’. Josie couldn’t help herself and kept glancing over at the girl every so often. No one had come to join her and she didn’t look like she was expecting anyone anyways.

It took Josie about two hours to muster up the courage to go say hi, but with a plate of food as a buffer in case she got shot down. Penelope’s eyes were greener up close and her smile quite literally made Josie’s stomach do a flip. Penelope was definitely the prettiest girl Josie had ever seen and she couldn’t believe that she was still single.

Their conversation, though light, had made Josie’s week and she felt stupid for even thinking Penelope would brush her off. Things were going well until Finn and the football team showed up. Things immediately became awkward and she kept looking back and forth between her ‘boyfriend’ and the girl she much rather be on a date with.

Yet somehow, Penelope still wanted to hang out with her. Did she think Josie only wanted to be friends? Sure, she was kind of in a relationship, but things were never made official. Josie had a feeling that they would most likely go back to being strangers once tomorrow came around, but she was happily proven wrong. She quickly decided that she wanted to start every school day with seeing Penelope’s smile and listening to her talk. But Lizzie interrupted them this time, and she was sure that Penelope wouldn’t want to see her again after the things her sister said. After Penelope had stormed off, she shot daggers at her sister who just shook her head.

“Oh c’mon, you know I didn’t mean it. I always say things I don’t mean when I’m angry.” Lizzie tried to reason with her, but Josie just slammed her locker.

“That’s your issue, you never think. You can’t justify saying mean things with your anger. That was out of line and you know it, Lizzie. I like Penelope and I want to hang out with her.” She had hoped Lizzie wouldn’t catch any undertones in Josie’s words, but her sister was too preoccupied to really listen.

“Ugh, fine. Whatever. I only came here to send along Finn’s message anyways. My bad that I scared off your little friend.”

++

Throughout the whole school day, Josie tried to look for Penelope and apologize. She figured that the girl had ditched school altogether since she wasn’t in any of her classes. When Penelope came up to her at her locker, relief washed over the brunette and she couldn’t help the butterflies she felt. She had liked the thought of Penelope walking with her to the game and possibly all her classes a bit too much. Their hands brushed every so often and a spark of electricity jolted through her arm each time. Her cheeks began to hurt from all the smiling until Penelope asked about Finn.

Her stomach dropped and she gripped her cheer bag tightly in her hand. _She deserves to know._ Telling Penelope about Finn wasn’t easy. The second the words left her lips, she could see something in Penelope’s expression falter but she was quick to explain herself. She hated seeing the look of defeat in Penelope’s eyes and it was then that she decided she needed to end things with Finn before it got any farther. Josie tried not to get too excited about the hopeful glint in the green eyes in front of her because she would start to get some hope too.

All throughout the football game, she could feel Penelope’s eyes on her every movement. This only made Josie add more flare into her routine, swaying her hips more than she needed to in order to selfishly keep the girl looking her way. But every time she glanced up, Penelope would tear her gaze away and lean in to talk to Hope. A odd tinge of jealousy sparked in the pit of her gut and she shook it away. She knew Hope, they grew up together and had talked on and off enough that she would’ve had some knowledge if she was interested in Penelope. Plus, she knew Hope was already dating Landon, yet why did she still feel uneasy?

Finn coming to her house after the game with flowers was the last straw. For God’s sake, Penelope was going to _kiss_ her and she would’ve if the damn boy didn’t show up! Josie had never been so angry as she gripped the bouquet of flowers in her hand. “Finn, we need to talk.” She slowly bit out. His brows furrowed and he looked at her then at direction Penelope rode off in. “Are you upset? I know how you get tired after the games and I wanted to surprise you since you were gone at lunch.”

Josie held up her hand, not letting him speak anymore. “I think we should break up.” Was it still acceptable to keep the flowers? He had gotten her all roses though and while Josie was a hopeless romantic at heart, she still preferred daises and daffodils.

She pushed the flowers into his hands and crossed her arms. _Doing_ the breaking up was harder than she thought, especially when someone like Finn was practically begging for her to reconsider. It was an awkward fifteen minutes of him pleading and Josie trying to get inside her house while he did so. She fumbled with the keys at least three times because _why the hell won’t the house key just FIT?_ That night she received multiple texts from Finn and a long lecture from Lizzie.

“Do you _know_ how much trouble I went to to help you?” She practically screeched. “I talked you up so much to Finn and you were due for a boyfriend like him—“

“I was _due_ for a boyfriend like him? What are you even talking about?!” Josie snapped. She had put up with a lot of Lizzie’s shit but this was definitely pushing it. Who was she to play matchmaker and set Josie up for whoever Lizzie deemed qualified? She spent the rest of the day angry at her sister, giving her the cold shoulder until Lizzie eventually caved and went to her room to apologize. When she opened the door, the blonde had a cup of hot cocoa overflowing with marshmallows in her hands. That was their way of begging for an apology, an unspoken rule between the two of them that they would only use hot cocoa if they really meant it. Josie hoped she did at least.

After a long talk with Lizzie, Josie did something she wasn’t proud of. She wanted to find a way to contact Penelope but they hadn’t exchanged numbers. So. She did the only thing she could’ve possibly done. She went on Instagram and scrolled through Hope’s following list until she found her account. Realistically, she probably could’ve just asked Hope for her number but then the teasing from Hope would be endless and she would probably tell Lizzie, and the endless cycle would begin. This was safer.

The next morning, Josie spent nearly an hour just picking out outfits and another hour _finally_ getting ready. It took thirty minutes alone to get her hair to stay in one place and making sure the two strands on each side of her face were perfectly curled. This was their first date without the thought of Finn in the back of her mind and she wanted to make sure she looked good. But it _was_ just breakfast, what if she got too dressed up? Better too much than not enough, right?

Josie had butterflies the second she step foot in the restaurant and they only intensified when she saw Penelope had showed up early just like she had. She could barely keep her eyes off the girl and had definitely forgotten that they were there to eat a meal. The things they shared with each other made Josie feel reassured that Penelope liked her back and their intentions were mutual, especially after the air was cleared about her new relationship status. By the time an hour passed, Josie was definitely smitten. Who knew she could be so enamored by a girl she had only recently started talking to? Was this normal?

The only thing that would made this date better was if Penelope kissed her. And Josie had no doubt that she was going to do it as she stood there, awaiting Penelope’s soft lips to press against her own. But it never came. Her heart was beating so hard that she was sure everyone in the restaurant could hear it. The kiss Penelope pressed to her cheek was such a tease and it left Josie dumbfounded in her shoes. She watched the girl walk away, shamelessly letting her eyes roam her figure as she did so.

Josie was going to get that kiss from Penelope.

++

Sunday was spent doing homework and chores. Occasionally, she would volunteer at the local library, partly because it was good for school applications and also because she just liked the quiet that it provided. When her eyes flickered to her phone for the seventh time halfway through her physics homework, she gave in to the urge and opened up the message thread between her and Penelope.

They had finally exchanged numbers last night and had only sent a few innocent messages back and forth. _What are you up to? How was your dinner? I love that book too._

_Josie: How are you holding up after being thrown around all afternoon by Hope?_

_Sent._

She set the phone down and breathed in loudly. That wasn’t so hard, was it? Just a few seconds later her phone chimed and she quickly snatched her phone back up. Lizzie gave her a questioning glare from across the kitchen and Josie just shrugged.

_Penelope: I could barely get out of bed this morning._

_Penelope: I thought I could crawl my way around the house but it looks like I’ll be in bed for the most part_

Josie frowned. Had Hope really hurt Penelope that bad? She quickly scanned over her planner and the things she had to get done that day before sending her next message.

_Josie: I’ve been told I make some pretty great minestrone soup. I can come over and make some for you if you’d like?_

_Penelope: I would be an idiot to turn down Josie Saltzman offering to cook me a meal. I would love that._

Josie felt her cheeks heat up. Even with just the simplest words, Penelope always managed to make Josie blush. The girl’s charm practically dripped from her words even through text, how can you even do that? “I’m going to Penelope’s. I’ll be home for dinner.” She announced to Lizzie and her parents in the other room. 

_Josie: What’s your address?_

The drive from the grocery store to Penelope’s was short enough that it didn’t allow Josie any time to overthink what was actually happening. When she pulled up to Penelope’s driveway, her eyes widened. She didn’t know what kind of house she was expecting when she thought of where Penelope lived, but this definitely beat all expectations. The house was immaculate and suited the girl so well, definitely a 180 from Josie’s house.

It was ten minutes before Josie managed to knock on the door. The nerves were definitely getting to her but when her brown eyes landed on Penelope’s green ones as the door opened, everything washed away. “Three days in a row? You’re spoiling me with your presence, Jojo.” Josie’s smile was shy while Penelope grinned. If she thought the outside of her house was nice, the inside was amazing. She followed Penelope to the kitchen and set the bag of groceries on the island. Penelope was wearing a tank top that showed off more skin on her upper body than should’ve been allowed and a pair of baggy sweatpants. The slightest hint of a bruise starting to form on her shoulder blade was peaking out from her tank top and Josie instinctively reached out to graze her fingers against it.

Penelope jumped at the touch and spun around to look at Josie, the grin still plastered on her face. “See something you like?” Josie rolled her eyes playfully and carefully turned Penelope around again to examine the bruises. “Do you normally bruise this badly?”

Penelope shrugged and turned around again, suddenly shy at the attention. “Not normally, but Hope had a rough day and she’s just crazy strong.”

“If it hurts you to the point of almost being bedridden all day, why do you keep doing it?” She began taking the ingredients out of the bag to start cooking. Penelope slid into a stood by the island and watched her, her chin resting on her palm. “It’s a good stress relief and distraction. I originally took it up on a whim and just kind of stuck to it. It’s how I got close with Lexa and Hope so it might’ve been the best decision I made in a while.” Josie stilled her movements and looked at the girl, her eyes softening.

“While the idea of letting yourself be thrown around like a rag doll isn’t very appealing to me, I get that. I didn’t want to join cheerleading in the beginning but now I actually kind of like it. Plus, it gives me something to bond over with Lizzie so that’s nice.”

“That’s just a thing between the three of us,” Penelope filled up a glass of water from the sink before going back to sit on the stool. “We don’t really… process our emotions well, us three. So we decided it’d be best if we channeled that anger into a punching bag but after a while it wasn’t enough. The three of us made a deal that we would be there for each other as sparring partners on the other’s bad days. But don’t worry, we use a safe word.” Penelope winked at Josie over the rim of her glass and Josie nearly dropped the can of beans in her hands. “What do you like about cheerleading?”

The brunette regained her composure, going back to prepping the ingredients. She pointed at a cabinet for a pot and Penelope nodded.

“It’s all about trust and confidence. I’m too tall to be a flyer so I usually catch. Without trust, the routines wouldn’t be as flashy as they are. Without confidence, we wouldn’t be able to do the flips that we do. You can’t chicken out halfway through a flip or else you’ll end up with a broken neck.”

The rest of the ingredient prep went on in relative silence besides the little bits of small talk every now and then. Once the soup was finished, she closed the lid and turned to stand in front of Penelope.

“Let’s move to the couch, I imagine that’s much more comfortable than your stool here. Then I’ll bring you a bowl.” Penelope huffed but obediently went to the couch like Josie mentioned. That was relatively painless. Josie served a decently sized bowl of soup and set it on a tray that she found in a kitchen before bringing it over to Penelope.

The sight of the girl all cuddled up with a blanket on the couch made her heart squeeze. Her eyes were so focused on the TV show playing in front of her that she almost didn’t register Josie putting the tray over her legs. She watched as her favorite pair of green eyes widened and Penelope immediately spooned some into her mouth. Josie just sighed when the soup caused Penelope to huff due to it’s temperature. Then those green eyes landed on Josie and she smiled. “I think this is the best thing anyone’s ever made me. Thank you, Jojo.”

Her stomach did a backflip and she quickly scooped some into a bowl for herself so she could join Penelope on the couch. “I’m glad you like it,” Josie looked around the big house and turned back to Penelope. “Is your mom not home?”

Penelope shook her head, chewing on another spoonful. “She travels for work a lot. Most of the time it’s just me here, so. A home cooked meal like this is kind of rare.”

Josie’s heart clenched. An image of Penelope eating dinner alone at the kitchen table flashed in her mind and she frowned. “You’re always welcome at my house for family dinner. I’m sure my parents won’t mind.” Penelope scoffed, shoveling the last spoonful into her mouth and chewing quickly. “Family dinner with Lizzie? You’re cute, Jojo. But I don’t think I can tolerate sitting down for a meal with Lizzie just yet.”

The girl had a point. Lizzie was a lot to handle and needed to be exposed to in moderation. “Then I’d be more than happy to have dinner here with you. If you want, that is.” Where was all this courage coming from? She wasn’t being presumptuous now, was she? There _was_ the off chance that maybe Penelope enjoyed her alone time and didn’t want to be bothered. But she wasn’t going to pass up the chance to spend time with Penelope, much less alone in a house like this.

Something in Penelope’s eyes flickered and softened, then a second later a playful glint. “Trying to get me alone already?” Her smirk was playful but the look in Penelope’s eyes betrayed her still.

“Guilty. I like spending time with you and…” Josie dropped her gaze to her hands, fingers fiddling with the hem of her T-shirt. “Do you not want to?”

Penelope sat up slowly, setting the bowl on the coffee table and reaching over to cover both of Josie’s hands with one of hers.

“I would love to have dinner with you, Josie.”

For what seemed like the umpteenth time, Josie’s stomach flipped and she felt her heart stutter all at the same time. It probably wasn’t good for her health that that kept happening. Josie turned her hands upwards in order to thread her fingers through Penelope’s, a soft smile lining her lips. “Then it sounds like a plan. But just so you know, the offer of dinner at my house is always available.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Do you have time? We can watch a movie.” Josie set her bowl down and settled into the couch next to Penelope, making sure their shoulders were touching.

“That sounds fun. What are you in the mood for?”

++

Ten minutes into the movie, Penelope leaned in close to Josie’s ear and whispered, “Is it okay if I put my arm around you?” Josie nodded, slowly sinking into Penelope’s side when she felt her arms rest comfortable atop her shoulders. As the movie went on, she melted further and further into the green eyed girl’s arms until her head was resting on the other girl’s shoulder, an arm thrown over her waist. This felt right. It was nothing like when Finn would put his arm around her. With Penelope, she felt safe and comfortable. She could only imagine what it would be like to fall asleep each night in her arms and to wake up to her smile every morning. Her gaze darted up to Penelope’s profile and she took her time drinking her in.

Green eyes were focused on the TV attached to the wall, her bottom lip stuck between two rows of pearly white teeth as she watched the characters interact with each other. The little chuckle that escaped her lips was so cute that Josie thought she was going to burst. All she wanted to do was just scoop the dark haired girl in her arms and never let go. Every time a character did something to irritate her, her brows would furrow and she ran a free hand through her dark curls. It was crazy how the girl could go from adorable to sexy in a split second, yet Penelope managed to do it easily.

And as the afternoon sun began to dip below the mountains, and the last of the sun’s light shone through the windows and onto Penelope’s side profile, she realized something then and there.

Sunday afternoons in Penelope’s arms while watching a movie was her new favorite thing... Scratch that.

_Any day_ and _any time_ in Penelope’s arms was her new favorite thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you a Penelope (sending one long message) or Josie (each sentence is a new message) when it comes to texting? I'm like a 10/90, respectively.


	6. I Want You to Soar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! Inspiration left me and may or may not have been caught up in Animal Crossing.. Chapter's a little jumbled because I wasn't too sure where I wanted the story to go but I think I have an idea now.

Sunday was one of the best days that Penelope had in awhile. Her and Josie had cuddled together on the couch for two whole movies before Josie’s mom called her home for dinner. The loss of Josie’s body against Penelope’s was missed tremendously, but she kept herself together enough to walk the girl to the door. They stood in the doorway for a little while, sharing smiles and little chats about the movies they had watched. It was another twenty minutes before they could pry away from the door and Penelope walked Josie to her car. Right before Josie opened her car door, she leaned in to give Penelope a kiss on the cheek, jumped into the car and drove off, her cheeks dusted a light pink. Penelope stood in her driveway for a moment, green eyes following the car down the street until it turned out of her vision.

Instead, several houses down, a certain long-haired brunette with a goofy grin plastered on her face entered her eye line instead. She made eye contact with Lexa as the other girl shot her a thumbs up. Penelope gave a more vulgar gesture and walked back into her house.

Asshole.

++

Penelope spent an hour getting ready Monday morning. There was a high chance that she’d see Josie before class started so she wanted to be presentable. After settling on just a blouse and jeans, she set off for school.

It was almost guaranteed that every time she pulled up to school on her motorcycle, people would stare. To be fair, the exhaust on the bike was obnoxiously loud and was one of the things on Penelope’s list of things to fix. The second she stepped off the bike, Lexa and Hope were at her side.

“I suppose a ‘thank you’ is in order?” Hope crossed her arms in front of Penelope. She quirked a brow and pushed past the wall that was her friends. “For beating my ass? Please, Mikaelson. You should be thanking me for not returning the favor.” The sound of Lexa’s boots scurrying behind her as she entered the front entrance of the school filled her ears.

“But how was it? There’s no way that you guys only watched a movie.” Lexa wiggled her brows and nudged her friend.

Penelope stopped in front of her locker, eyes automatically scanning the hallway for Josie. It was still a little early.

“You’re right. We watched two and had lunch.”

“Really? Penelope Park, only watching a movie and not hooking up with a girl? What’s wrong with you, feeling sick?” Hope pressed the back of her hand to Penelope’s forehead and smirked when the other girl smacked her hand away.

“Josie’s not like that, alright? Leave me be. Don’t you have a mascot to make out with?”

Hope rolled her eyes, stiffening immediately when they landed on an approaching figure. “Incoming.”

Penelope stayed facing her locker, not wanting to seem too excited to see Josie. The last thing she needed was to embarrass herself in front of everyone. The familiar sound of heels clicking on the linoleum floor progressively got louder as she felt the person approach. But instead of Josie’s soft voice, it was a much more unpleasant one.

“Satan.” She turned slowly, greeted by the much annoying presence of Josie’s twin.

“That’s an interesting way to pronounce Penelope. English is not one of your strong suits, Saltzman.” The darker haired girl crossed her arms. It was way too early to be dealing with anything right now.

“I know you’ve been spending time with Josie lately, and frankly, I’m not a fan.” Penelope raised a brow.

“And why do your feelings matter? The only people that matter are Josie and I, considering it’s us two spending time together.” Her friends remained silent next to her, Lexa gripping the strap of her backpack and Hope with her jaw clenched.

“Consider this a warning. I can make life hell for you. And do you really think that you’re the only person she’s been spending time with? Josie’s a cheerleader, top of the food chain in this hierarchy we call school. Don’t think you’re special.”

A muscle in Penelope’s jaw twitched. Was this really how she wanted to go about shooing Penelope away?

“You can try to intimidate me all you want, Lizzie. I’m not afraid of you. I’ve got tougher skin than you think,” She took a step forward, staring deep into Lizzie’s blue eyes.

“Try me.”

A look flashed across Lizzie’s face as her eyes darted to the side for a brief second. A menacing smile slowly lined her lips as they made eye contact again. “Trust me. You’re not the only one trying to get Josie’s affection. You’re also not the only one getting it.”

She knew that she shouldn’t look. Lizzie was only trying to get under her skin and rile her up. Her and Josie acknowledged they liked each other but nothing was promised. But they liked each other. Penelope liked Josie. Josie liked Penelope.

Right?

Turns out, curiosity did kill the cat. Penelope let her gaze drift down the hall to where Josie was walking next to who she now knew was Rafael, Hope’s mascot’s brother. Rafael had Josie’s bag on his arm as they walked to Josie’s locker. Rafael’s body was covering Josie’s so she couldn’t see what was really going on. Just when Rafael put his hand on the small of Josie’s back and stayed there for much too long. That didn’t mean anything. People do that to everyone, right?

Penelope bit the inside of her cheek, her thoughts whirling with all types of situations. They didn’t owe each other anything, hell they’d only hung out a few times. She finally tore her gaze away when she felt a heavy boot collide with the side of her calf. She winced, Lexa had probably hit her harder than she expected but it did the job of tearing her gaze away from the ‘happy couple’.

Lexa gave her a look. _Don’t fall for it._ Penelope sighed inwardly, looking back at Lizzie.

“People are allowed to have friends, Saltzman. I know you’re not familiar with the term considering you probably don’t have many. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere to be before class.” She shoved her locker shut, bag in hand as she followed Hope and Lexa in the opposite direction of Josie and out to the courtyard. Fresh air was much needed after an interaction with Lizzie Saltzman.

Throughout the entire walk, Penelope could feel the eyes of her friends on her. She clenched and unclenched her fists, slowly bringing her irritation down to an acceptable level. Throwing a heavy medicine ball would be much more satisfying right now.

“I can’t believe you let her get under your skin,” Lexa broke the silence as the three of them sat down at a table. “You need to get your mind together. This kind of thing would’ve never bothered you. And you call me the sap.” She scoffed and pulled out her phone. Penelope quirked a brow and leaned over to see who Lexa was texting.

“Yeah, totally don’t see it. You’re not a sap at _all._ ” The two girls shared a teasing smile before Hope clapped her hands together.

“Lizzie is… certainly something. Truthfully, she wasn’t all bad, but she was definitely doing everything in her power to get you to doubt yourself.” Penelope turned her attention to her other friend and gave her an expecting look. Hope had told her that Landon canceled their date to help Rafael mend things with an ex.

No way.

“Was it before or after I let you throw me around the gym a dozen times that you decided to lie to me about not knowing Rafael dated Josie?” Hope’s eyes widened and Lexa pursed her lips, shoving her phone into her pocket quickly.

“Rafael didn’t date Josie.” Penelope’s expression didn’t falter. Her friend wouldn’t lie to her face like that, right? It seemed like there could be no way Penelope was sure of anything anymore.

“He dated Lizzie.” Now it was Penelope’s turn for her eyes to widen. She snapped her head to her left where Lexa sat. “Did you know?”

Lexa held her hands up in surrender, shaking her head. “I only knew his name and that he was a wrestler. I have better things to keep in my brain archive than useless info like that.”

Penelope turned back to Hope, irritation evident in her scowl.

“I only found out recently, so don’t kill me for not interrogating my boyfriend. Who, by the way, I should be with right now but I’m here instead. I have no idea why he was with Josie this morning though. Honestly, it’d be kind of weird if he was trying to go for Josie now, solely because he dated Lizzie before.”

Penelope opened her mouth to respond, a snarky comment on the tip of her tongue but the bell sounding through the courtyard signaling the start of first period cut her off.

So much for a morning with Josie.

++

Josie was already in her seat when Penelope walked through the door of her first period. Their seats were a few rows apart but close enough that she would catch Josie in her peripheral now and then. They made eye contact as Penelope walked over to her seat and the brunette gave her a shy smile. Despite the insecure thoughts running through her mind, she managed a smile back. It was just harmless flirting, why was Penelope freaking out? Lexa was right. This kind of stuff never would’ve gotten to her before. So why now? Why was she having this weird feeling in her gut? Oh.

_Oh._

_Damn._

Jealousy was not a word that applied to Penelope Park. She was never jealous. People were jealous _of her_ , or _because_ of her. But never _her._ As she plopped down in her seat, she began mulling over the entire situation. Jealousy was not a good feeling, why was it even a thing? How do you stop it? Do you always just feel like complete ass? What is even the point of it anyways? She didn’t get a chance to keep up her inner monologue once the shrill voice of a substitute teacher rang throughout the room.

Sitting in class was torture when the entire class was assigned to do something but ended up just sitting around and talking. It was ten minutes before she felt someone standing next to her desk. She had finished the work already and was reading a book instead.

“Pride and Prejudice? I never took you for a reader.” Josie smiled at her, more confidence in this one as she took a seat in the empty desk to Penelope’s right. Penelope shut her book, smirk in place and turning her body fully.

“What do you take me as, Jojo?”

“That’s for me to know and me only.” Josie smiled and leaned forward a little to whisper, “I was kind of expecting to see you this morning before class. Where were you?”

Penelope shrugged, putting her book back into her backpack and pulling out a notebook in it’s place. “I was with Hope and Lexa. You seemed busy so I didn’t want to impose.” She watched Josie carefully to see her response. Josie just shrugged, an exasperated laugh leaving her lips.

“I would’ve much rather spent the morning talking about how family dinner went the night before. Raf is nice, we’ve been hanging out a lot more recently. I think he’s trying to get back in Lizzie’s good graces through me.” Penelope quirked a brow at this. There was no way that Josie was this dense.

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Jojo. Whoever you hang out with is whoever you want. No biggie.” A confused look flickered across Josie’s face and Penelope matched it. “What?”

A smile slowly lined her pouty lips, as if realization had hit her, and Josie got up as the bell rang, making sure to rest her hand on Penelope’s elbow before she left. “I’ll see you at lunch.”

She sat there puzzled. What just happened? Penelope had thought she had someone like Josie figured out but apparently, she thought wrong. She watched as Lizzie entered the classroom and threw a smirk at her direction before sitting down with her sister. They were talking about something that Penelope couldn’t hear but it didn’t seem light. Their voices turned into hushed whispers, Lizzie’s aggressive against Josie’s soft.

For the rest of class, she focused her attention on her pen and paper in front of her. Only letting her gaze flicker over to Josie every so often. Their eyes met a few times but Penelope was quick to avert her eyes quickly. The bell rang and it was approximately thirty seconds before she saw Rafael appear in the doorway. Lizzie greeted him with a sickly sweet smile, there was no way that she wasn’t bothered by her ex hanging around her sister. That was just too weird.

It was another ten seconds before he caved and entered the classroom, immediately making a beeline for Josie. The girl still had her things laid out on her desk when she looked up at him.

“Hey, Raf.” She smiled up at him. He smiled back. It was nauseating.

“Hey. I figured I could walk you to your next class.” He went to reach for her bag but she stopped him. “I’m okay, really. I actually have someone to meet up with before second period starts.” Penelope had been packing her things into her bag, trying not to seem too obvious that she was doing her best to eavesdrop. She quickly zipped up her bag and did her best to look composed when she realized that Josie began walking over to her.

“Can I walk you to your next class?” Josie smiled down at her, one hand gripping the strap of her bag while the other gestured to the doors. Penelope glanced over Raf, who stood there with a slack jaw. She quickly got to her feet and took Josie’s free hand in hers.

“That sounds perfect.”

Penelope could feel Lizzie’s eyes boring into the back of her head as she walked hand in hand with Josie out of the classroom. Josie squeezed her hand in reassurance and simply followed Penelope’s direction to her class. It felt nice to get chosen over Rafael. The look on his face was priceless but it was more due to the fact that Lizzie swore up and down Josie was playing her. She trusted her gut and she was right. Josie wasn’t like that, she’s special. It made it easier for Penelope to let herself fall for the girl a little more each day.

She tugged Josie to the side as they neared her next class and turned to look at her. “I don’t know about you, but I’m sure there are holes in the back of my head from Lizzie.” Josie chuckled, a bit embarrassed.

“I know. I’m sorry about her. She just… has this idea of how our high school lives should go. It’s a bit like a teen rom-com and as cheesy as it sounds, I think it’s nice.” Penelope cocked her head to the side, a teasing smile lining her lips. “Is this your subtle way of saying that you’re not interested, Jojo? ‘Cause if that’s the case, you can just tell me to my face.” Josie pushed the other girl’s shoulder playfully and smiled. “Oh yeah? Well I only wanted to sugar coat it for you is all,” She squeezed her hand. “But that’s not something you need to worry about, okay? If anything, I should be the one worried. I’m sure it won’t be long before I get tackled by some Penelope Park fangirl.”

That was fair. Penelope brushed her thumb against the back of Josie’s hand, thinking.

“You don’t owe me anything, Jojo. I’m ecstatic to hear that though, don’t get me wrong. Plus, I’m sure I’ll get a stern talking to from your little puppy from earlier,” She reached up with her free hand to brush a stray curl from Josie’s face, letting her hand fall after giving her cheek a little pinch. “I guess we’re both in for some creepy stalkers, huh? You’re a big girl Jojo, I’m sure you can handle a couple crazy girls.” Penelope smirked at her. “Besides, how else will I know that you’re serious?” The girl was joking, of course. But a small part of her deep inside was serious and scared for Josie’s answer.

It was a relief when Josie kept up the playful banter they had but still reassured her in the end. “I live with Lizzie. My tolerance and patience is immaculate.”

The rest of the school day consisted of finally getting some work done and hearing her best friends go on about their relationships. It was finally lunchtime, Penelope was scribbling down some homework for the day while Lexa and Hope talk about their respective significant others.

“Landon said he’s going to make it up to me this weekend for flaking on our last date,” Hope said before bringing a spoonful of pudding to her lips. “Honestly, flowers would’ve probably done the trick too but a date is definitely way better.”

“Maybe he’ll actually kiss you this time.” Lexa grumbled into her turkey sandwich, earning a slap on the arm from Hope. “I’m just saying. Mascot needs to man up and make a move or little Hopey here is going to move on.”

Penelope nodded, pointing her pen in Lexa’s direction. “She’s right. Our little girl’s all grown up with her line of suitors out the door. We should start giving out ticket numbers like the DMV.” Lexa grinned at this, dropping her sandwich to scribble down something in her notebook. “That’s going on the list of ideas to tame Hope.”

The three of them weren’t ugly by any means. They all had their own quirks and beauty individually but Hope probably had the most people going after her, tied with Penelope of course. Out of the three of them, Hope was probably the nicest. Correction, had the most patience. She would entertain people to a degree but isn’t afraid to let them know when enough is enough. Meanwhile, Penelope usually had a demeanor that warded off most people, only the brave ones willing to come up and make a move. Most of the time it was welcomed, but now that she was in this weird limbo with Josie, she was going to have to cut off some people in her contacts list if she wanted Josie to take her seriously. Lexa had been dating Clarke long enough that people learned to back off or else they’d get hit by a truck. Not to mention that _everyone_ shipped Clexa.

“He should feel lucky. It’s not everyday that a mascot gets to date a girl, period.” Penelope stole a carrot from Hope’s lunch, sticking her tongue out at the girl when she did the same. “What are your guys’ plans for Friday? We’re due for a movie night.”

Lexa sat up straighter and nodded in agreement. “We definitely are. There’s a bunch of new docs and movies that just came out online, I say we binge.”

“I’ll get the sweets.”

“I’ll get the savory.”

“And I guess I’ll make the actual food so we don’t die of malnutrition,” Penelope made a mental note to figure out something to cook for all of them. “Clarke’s coming right?”

“Yup, definitely. Why don’t you bring mascot boy?” Lexa wiggled her brows at Hope who just rolled her eyes. “Are you sure? We can just have it be the four of us, I don’t want to impose with him.” Now it was Penelope’s turn to roll her eyes. Penelope’s house was so often empty, she had gotten to the point where company was company. Plus, it would be fun to interrogate Landon. “Just bring him, it’s fine.”

“Only if you bring Josie,” Hope pointed her spoon at Penelope then at Lexa when her friend flashed her a thumbs up. “It’ll be fun. And, if you guys end up dating for real anyways, you’ll be grateful for this.” The green eyed girl twirled the pen in her hand, thinking over Hope’s words. Her eyes naturally drifted around the lunchroom until they landed on the table Josie was sitting at. She was going to ask if Josie could come anyways if Landon was coming. The only thing worse than being the third wheel is being the _fifth_ wheel.

As if she knew, Josie looked up to meet Penelope’s eyes from across the room. She gave her the special smile that Penelope was now sure was reserved for her and a little wave. Penelope was about to wave back until she felt a hand collide with the back of her head. She stumbled forward onto the table, her pen and notebooks falling to the ground.

“Stop gawking at the damn girl. God, I can’t imagine what it’ll be like when you guys are actually dating.” Lexa scoffed before taking another bite from her sandwich. “I swear, seeing you all puppy loved up is weird. I kind of miss the aloof, womanizer you used to be. It meant less work since we didn’t have to befriend whatever girl you had because it would’ve been a new one by the next day.”

Penelope waved her hand away at Lexa’s words, not wanting to dwell on the thoughts of her poor coping mechanisms in the past. “Yeah yeah, sorry for overloading you with all this effort now. But I’ll ask Josie, okay?”

“Ask me what?” The voice came so close to Penelope’s head that she nearly jumped out of her seat. She whirled around, practically giving herself whiplash in the process. “Oh. Hey, Jojo.” She composed herself quickly, matching Josie’s dazzling smile. Her eyes darted to her friends sitting next to her, failing terribly at pretending they weren’t listening to their conversation. Penelope got to her feet to stand in front of Josie, trying to block out the idiotic looks on her best friend’s faces behind her.

“We’re having a movie night on Friday. Would you like to come?”

“Ah! Movie night? I love movies..” Josie’s face lit up, her smile widening at Penelope’s words. She felt her stomach do that flip again. _Get it together, Park._ “Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to impose.”

Penelope shook her head. “No, you wouldn’t. So long as you bring some snacks, of course. Or how about drinks? Dealer’s choice, just nothing terrible.”

“No bad soda.” She heard Lexa ‘cough’ out.

Josie just laughed before nodding. “I’d love to. I was actually coming over here to see what you were doing this weekend but I guess you beat me to it. I’ll be there with only good sodas.” Penelope watched as Josie turned to walk back to her table, throwing one last look over her shoulder at the darker haired girl. Josie was well out of ear shot before Penelope turned her head at the rustling behind her.

Hope and Lexa grinned clapping their hands together in a high five.

“Triple date!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Triple date! More fluff for now because our dear posie hearts deserve it, but the angst will have to come soon. (soon as in whenever I can figure out a good timing to work it in) Until then, good fluff to soothe the wounds. Sorry for the constant jumping around in the chapter, again I wasn't too sure where I wanted things to go and how to transition. But I think I am slowly getting a grip again so time will tell. Thanks for checking out my story! I will do my best to make sure the reading is worth your while!


	7. We Meet In the Middle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates every few days or week(s) later. What is consistency? No spoilers in this little note except that it's another Josie POV! You'll have to read to see the rest!

The rest of the week had gone by in a blur. It mainly consisted of diner shifts that went much too late into the night, cheerleading practices that felt longer than usual, overloaded homework and more little moments with Penelope. It was difficult for Josie to spend the mornings before class with her since Rafael just insisted on walking her to first period. But, she was lucky enough that she was almost guaranteed to walk Penelope to her next class after.

When they weren’t sharing short interactions at school, they would text. Probably too much. It wasn’t anything that Josie was proud to admit, but there were more than a few times where she would pull out her phone to respond during a shift. The owner didn’t mind for the most part since she would do it when they weren’t busy, but it wasn’t a habit that she wanted to keep up.

Still. It was worth it.

Now, it was finally Friday, movie night with Penelope and her friends. Josie was looking forward to this day a little too much, embarrassingly so. She finally mustered up the courage to ask Penelope if she could sit with her at lunch today. Lexa and Hope had thrown the two of them more than a handful of mischievous glances, cheek aching grins plastered on their faces the entire time. She decided to save Penelope the embarrassment by not acknowledging them.

Hope had assured her that she wouldn’t need to dress up too fancy since their movie nights usually consisted of just pajamas, Josie still spent thirty minutes laying out outfits that she thought Penelope would like. Instead she settled on a T-shirt and long pajama pants.

She was almost finished with putting the drinks in a bag when Lizzie walked into the kitchen and made a beeline for her.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Her sister asked her, one hand on her hip and the other on the counter in an attempt to trap her in.

“I told you. I’m going to Penelope’s for a movie night with her friends.”

Lizzie raised her brows, now crossing her arms and taking in her attire. “And I told you that I needed you home to help me plan family dinner. Caroline’s going to join us and it’s our turn to cook.”

“Lizzie. It’s Friday. Family dinner is on Sunday, we can plan tomorrow, okay?” Josie sighed. She could tell her sister was grabbing at straws to try and get her away from Penelope. Just this week alone, she had to tell her sister five times that she didn’t want to get back together with Finn or date Rafael. The latter was just weird.

“Whatever. Waste your time with the spawn of Satan. But when she breaks your heart like she does with every girl she’s involved with, expect a fat ‘I told you so’ from your loving sister who warned you.” Lizzie’s words were sickly sweet. This always happened when Josie showed interest in someone that Lizzie didn’t approve.

In the past, this would’ve deterred Josie from trying to pursue anything further. She had thought for the longest time that it wouldn’t be worth driving a ridge in the relationship with her sister. But why was it that Lizzie was allowed to date whoever she wanted and Josie had no say? Well into their high school career, Josie had had enough. She liked Penelope. She was different from all the crushes she’s had from the past and possibly even the longest.

Having had eyes for the darker haired girl did meant the she watched all her relationships from afar. She wasn’t stupid or oblivious, she knew the number of people that Penelope would go through at a time. Penelope would entertain some lucky winner for a few days, maybe even weeks until things would end suddenly, the two of them never seen again. It worried Josie at first. Would she just be another one of the pawns for Penelope to toy with? Any and all doubt washed away when she saw how Penelope was with her. The girl had never been as affectionate or sweet with her past flings and it gave Josie hope. She was determined to show Penelope that she was in for the ride.

“Think what you want, Lizzie. But Penelope is different and I like being around her. I let you dictate my past relationships but you’re not putting your hands on this one. If I get hurt, feel free to rub it in. I want to be able to give this one a chance and you owe me this, you’ve taken away all the other ones.” She turned away from her sister then, not wanting to let the conversation continue.

She had a girl to see.

++

When Josie arrived 10 minutes early to Penelope’s house, she was worried that she got the time wrong because there were already a few cars parked on the street. She knocked on the door, adjusting the bag of drinks in hand as it swung open to reveal and smirking Penelope. They were dressed fairly similar, Penelope in a graphic tee and sweatpants.

“Welcome, Jojo. Everyone’s almost here. We’re just waiting on Clarke and Lexa.” Penelope reached for the bag of drinks and gestured to follow her into the house. She fell into step besides Penelope, taking in the new look even though they had just seen each other a few hours ago at school.

“Those two are always late somehow despite Lexa living just a few houses down. I don’t know how they manage that.” They rounded the corner and the kitchen came into view. Hope was leaning against the island next to Landon, the two of them in deep conversation.

“I know, I know. They released the movies in a certain order but that’s not the order you’re supposed to watch it in. They number them for a reason which is why we have to start with the actual trilogy instead of the first released.” Landon explained to Hope with his hands moving in a manner that helped accentuate his words.

“Josie’s here, guys. No more Star Wars talk now, Landon.” Penelope looked straight at the curly headed boy who looked only just slightly offended.

“Hey Josie, how are you?” Hope gave her a warm smile. Despite the two of them growing up together, their friendship hadn’t lasted all these years as most would expect it to. Joining cheerleading kind of put the cherry on top in diminishing their connection. Her and Lizzie were too busy with practices while Hope took up other hobbies. Things just never really fell in line. Until now, at least.

“I’m excited to see what movies we’re watching. All this food is a great plus too.” Josie smiled back at Hope before turning her attention to greet the boy next to her. She held out her hand to shake which he took immediately. “Landon, right? I don’t think we’ve officially met. I’m Josie.” He gave her hand a squeeze and a small smile.

“It is kind of hard to talk in the suit so no worries about that. Plus, it’s kind of tradition that cheerleaders only befriend the sports team, not the mascots.” Landon quipped and Hope immediately hit him in the chest.

“Sorry, Josie. He doesn’t know when to turn off the blunt honesty sometimes.”

Josie waved her hand in dismissal. “Oh, don’t worry about it, but it’s not always true. However, you’d be surprised how many cheerleaders on the team actually have that mindset though. It’s a bit dated, really.”

The front door swung open abruptly, two pairs of footsteps echoing down the hallway immediately after. “Lopey, I’m home! Is your girlfriend here?” Lexa shouted from around the corner. Penelope, who was in front of the fridge putting the drinks away tensed at Lexa’s words. Josie threw a glance at Lexa, now walking in with a pretty blonde next to her who Josie recognized as Clarke. She turned her head to look at Penelope until she saw a flash of white fly through the air and make contact with Lexa’s head.

Penelope’s cheeks were dusted a light pink, the blush made Josie smile to herself.

“Open your big mouth again and next time it’ll be heavier than a tissue box.” Penelope snarked. She shut the door to go over to hug Clarke and take the food they brought.

“Sorry we’re late, Pen. Lexa fell asleep waiting for me to come over and it took forever to wake her up.” Clarke explained. Lexa just shrugged, walking over to the counter to gather snacks to set on the coffee table. Penelope just shook her head before moving to gesture to Josie.

“I’ll just remember to tell Lexa an hour earlier than we’re actually meeting. Clarke, this is Josie. Josie, this is Clarke, Lexa’s girlfriend.” The two girls shook hands, an awkward exchange. Josie took in the girl’s appearance. She was pretty, bright blue eyes, short blonde hair and a little beauty mark above her lip. They were practically opposites, it reminded her a lot of her and Lizzie. The fact that Finn dated both of them made her wonder if the guy was just going for whoever he could get.

“It’s nice to finally meet you. Penelope won’t shut up about you,” At the mention of her name, the girl immediately whipped around and pointed at Clarke.

“You’re not exempt from a tissue box being thrown at your head either, princess.” Clarke rolled her eyes, a smile lining her lips to show that it was playful. “I’d like to see you try, Park.”

Penelope sighed as she placed a set of plates on the island. “Food’s ready, everyone. Feel free to grab whatever you’d like. There’s garlic bread and alfredo. Hope, can you bring some stuff to the coffee table? Landon, start up movie.”

“What do you want us to do?” Lexa asked Penelope. She pointed at the cupboard then the fridge, “Set up drinks, they’re not completely cold yet though.”

As everyone split up, Josie made her way to Penelope’s side. She silently reached for the stack of plates and began spreading them out. “Everyone’s nice. It’s also good to know that your dynamic with Lexa isn’t only limited to school grounds.” Penelope gave her that side smile that made Josie’s cheeks heat up on cue. The darker haired girl shrugged and turned her body to face Josie.

“Not scared off yet? I can’t vouch for how weird Landon might be but Lexa and Hope might be more than enough to scare you off.”

Josie chuckled, walking around her to start piling some food onto her plate. “Please. I’ve dealt with cheerleaders for the past few years, I think my tolerance is pretty high.”

Penelope laughed and it was possibly one of the greatest sounds Josie had ever heard.

“Couldn’t agree more.” A phone on the counter next to where Josie was serving food went off, the screen lighting up with multiple messages from different names. Girls, first name only. A knot formed in her stomach and she immediately remembered Lizzie’s words. Jealous. She already knew Penelope was no stranger to relationships, but she wouldn’t let that bother her now. After all, who was the one spending another Friday night with her?

Josie immediately tore her eyes away when she heard Penelope shuffle behind her. She felt a warm hand rest lightly on the small of her back and the warmth of Penelope’s body brush against hers before it left all to quickly. Her eyes moved up to watch the other girl, she spared a look at the messages, tapping off quick responses before shoving it into her pockets.

Their eyes met and Penelope smiled. “Ready to sit?”

The two of them made their way over to the couch, food and napkins in hand since Lexa had already gotten drinks. Conveniently, there were only two spots left next to each other in the corner of the rounded couch. Penelope stepped aside to let Josie sit first before plopping down next to her without hesitating, almost close enough that their thighs brushed.

The other couples were already digging into their respective snacks and foods, talking over their day and weekend plans. They finished their actual dinner relatively quickly, the last thing someone wanted while watching a movie was to have to remember their dining manners.

Once the movie began, Lexa and Hope cuddled into their respective partners and Josie chanced a glance over at Penelope. The green eyed girl had just taken her eyes off of her friends when Josie turned to her. They shared a sheepish smile, knowing that they both had the same thought. Penelope slid her arm around Josie’s shoulders, Josie in turn, settling into Penelope’s side, her head finding purchase on the other girl’s shoulder. She had missed this feeling. Penelope’s dark curls fell long enough to tickle her cheek and for some reason, it made Josie smile.

Everyone stayed awake throughout the first movie for the most part. There were multiple times where the girls would snicker at Hope being asleep on Landon’s chest. On the second movie, it was Clarke’s turn to fall asleep. They were well into the third one when Josie began to feel her eyelids grow heavy and she was practically sleeping more than watching.

It was a little after the fourth time that her eyes fluttered shut when she felt a light nudge. She opened her eyes to meet Penelope’s green ones. A soft smile lined her lips and as Josie took in her surroundings, she realized that the other two couples were fully asleep on the large couches. A shiver ran up her spine when she felt Penelope run her nails lightly along her arm.

“Sorry to wake you, it’s almost eleven. I assumed that your parents would want you home before curfew but you’re more than welcome to spend the night here,” She gestured with her free hand to her friends next to them. “They usually do so it’s nothing new.”

Josie rubbed her eyes, pulling herself off of Penelope slowly. She immediately felt cold at the loss and shrugged. Her parents did want her home before midnight, but they also wouldn’t oppose to her spending the night when it was already this late. It wasn’t like Lizzie hadn’t pulled something like this before when Josie hadn’t ever.

“I wouldn’t mind staying,” She smiled shyly before quickly adding. “If it’s okay with you, of course. I know you said I wouldn’t be imposing and all but, still.”

Penelope laughed quietly as she slowly stood up. She stretched her arms over her head, numb after sitting in the same position for so many hours. Josie wondered if Penelope purposely didn’t move because she noticed she was asleep. Her eyes fell to the hem of Penelope’s shirt as it moved up enough that Josie caught a glimpse of Penelope’s toned stomach. Almost on cue, she felt her cheeks heat up and Josie slowly got to her feet.

“You’re always welcome here, Jojo. Follow me, the guest room isn’t set up at the moment so you can take my bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.” Penelope took Josie’s hand in hers and made their way to the staircase. This was new territory, the last time Josie was here they hadn’t gone upstairs at all.

“We can share the bed, Penelope. Unless you’re nervous.” Josie wiggled her eyebrows at Penelope as they reached the top of the staircase. Penelope scoffed, stopping in her tracks to face Josie.

“Just being polite is all. What would it say about me if I so readily assumed we would share a bed?” Josie’s blush deepened and she dropped her gaze when Penelope led them to a closed door to the far left of the staircase.

It was sweet that Penelope was only trying to respect her boundaries. But Josie knew that she was no stranger to jumping into bed with someone fairly quickly. What made Josie any different? Did Penelope like her but not like that? Oh god, was she just not good enough to go that far?

She had let the insecure thoughts cloud her mindset so much that she didn’t realize they were stopped inside a new room. She took in her new surroundings, a TV hung up on the wall, neatly made queen sized bed, dresser, everything was fairly minimalistic and clean.

“This is my room. It’s not really decorated because I don’t know what I want to do, so it’s a bit plain right now. But I like it like this.” She took a step towards the door when Josie’s hand shot out to grab her wrist.

“Stay. There’s more than enough space for the both of us. And, what would your friends think if they woke up next to you on the couch and I’m in your bed?”

“That I am a fantastic host?” Penelope smirked. Josie rolled her eyes and tugged Penelope towards the bed with her. They both got in on opposite sides of the bed and turned off the lights, the faint glow from the streetlights below shining through the windows.

The sheets smelled liked Penelope, like lavender and sandalwood. It was intoxicating and Josie swore her head was spinning. She turned onto her side to face Penelope, her eyes lining the silhouette of the other girl. Thank goodness for obnoxious streetlights. There was a soft ruffle of covers and Penelope turned to face her as well.

“Hi.” The corners of her lips were tugged up in a smile. Josie reached over to take Penelope’s hand in hers and gave it a squeeze.

“Hi.”

A silence.

“You know, this was how my first kiss went.” Penelope said quietly.

“Really?”

“Yup. I was having a sleepover with my best friend when I was eight. We were laying just like this, I was talking about the show we had just watched when she leaned in and pecked me on the lips,” Penelope hesitated for a moment. Josie gave her hand a squeeze to let her know that she was here for her.

“We didn’t hang out much after that. I think she regretted doing it, and I regret that she did too because I lost my best friend. That kind of thing tilts your whole world when you’re eight.” Josie felt a piece of her heart break off at Penelope’s story. She slowly brought up the other girls hand to her lips, pressing a soft kiss to the back of it.

“She missed out. I’m sorry that happened to you, no one should have to go through that.”

Penelope shrugged, her fingers lightly trailing Josie’s jawline before stopping at her lips. She brushed her thumb lightly over the curve of her cupids bow, so achingly slow that Josie thought she was going to burst.

“I really want to kiss you.”

Josie’s heart stuttered to a stop. Her hand had fell down to wrap around Penelope’s wrist but now she was worried that her palm was too sweaty. She took in a breath, gathering her words together to make sure they didn’t sound as shaky as she felt.

“I really want you to kiss me.”

Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness enough now to see Penelope smile. Her thumb brushed against Josie’s bottom lip now, and it took every fiber of Josie’s being to not lunge at the girl.

The movement was so swift that Josie hadn’t even had time to register it. She felt the bed shift first, Penelope’s hand sliding to cup her cheek second, the smell of lavender and sandalwood flood her senses third, and finally the softest lips in existence pressed to her own. Josie gasped into the kiss, shocked that she was finally kissing Penelope but her instincts kicked in quickly. The hand on Penelope’s wrist tightened while the other reached up to rest at the nape of the other girl’s neck to keep her from pulling away. She had waited long enough for this kiss and she wasn’t going to let it end that fast.

Penelope was a great kisser. Her plush lips trapped Josie’s bottom one, letting her teeth nip lightly at it. Yet again, Josie had to use every ounce of strength to not roll the girl over and just have at it. She did however, let out a soft moan and immediately felt Penelope smile into the kiss.

Josie took the initiative next, turning her head just enough for the correct angle to swipe the tip of her tongue against Penelope’s lips, entrance granted not long after. If Josie had felt intoxicated earlier just from being next to Penelope, she was completely inebriated now.

It was another few seconds before the two of them broke apart but keeping their foreheads touching while their chests heaving to catch their breaths. Penelope was the first to giggle and Josie not soon after.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that.” Josie breathed out. She wanted to lean in for another kiss, so she did. This one much more tame than the one they just shared. Penelope returned it happily before pulling away only to press one more chaste kiss to Josie’s lips.

“Are you going to run for the hills now that you got what you wanted?”

Josie laughed.

“Never. I’m just getting started.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eek! FINALLY. We had a lot going on in this chapter. Movie night, cuddles, couples being couples, fluff and some Penelope vulnerability but also Josie insecurity? Let me know your thoughts! Thank you for all the kind words you guys left on the last chapter, it really helped motivate me to write. Hope you all are staying safe and washing your hands!


	8. Such a Fool

Sabine stared hard at her daughter, irritation clearly written across her features. Penelope felt a chill that she knew couldn’t be blamed on some draft. She hated that her mother still had this effect on her. Penelope had spent countless hours at the gym putting her body into the best shape she could but her mind was still weak. She hated her mother with a burning passion yet there was still a part of her that was scared. Scared of what she could do now that her dad was gone. 

“How is it that I hold very little expectations of you yet, you _still_ manage to disappoint me, Penelope?” Sabine’s words were sharp, Penelope felt each syllable cut into her skin like glass. 

“I didn’t think you thought of me much at all, considering that you’re not even around.” Penelope said curtly. She was proud of herself that her words didn’t waiver but she could tell her mother saw right through her. 

A muscle in Sabine’s jaw twitched. “I am not around because I am working. Who do you think puts a roof over your head? Food in your stomach? I do so much for you and what do I get in return? A daughter that can’t even act appropriately!” 

What happened next was swift. One second her mother was across the room. 

Penelope blinked. 

Her mother was in front of her now, and it was only a millisecond later when she raised her hand to connect it with her face.

Penelope woke with a jolt, her chest heaving to catch her breath. She could feel a light sheen of sweat coating her forehead. Her eyes searched the room until they landed on the clock on her bedside that read 3am. She took the next few minutes to catch her breath and compose herself. It had been a while since she dreamt of her mother hitting her. The conversation was always the same. Mother going on about Penelope being ungrateful, her retorting with the increased parental absence, each dream got closer and closer to feeling the hand that once showed her love slap her across the face. 

Drowning in her inner turmoil at 3am was cut short when she felt a shift in the bed next to her. For a second she was worried that someone broke into her room until she remembered the night before. Josie rolled to face Penelope, sleepily nosing her way into the crook of Penelope’s neck while an arm wrapped around Penelope’s waist. 

“Go back to sleep..Pen..” Josie mumbled quietly, her breath blowing against Penelope’s collarbones. She rested her hand on top of Josie’s, lightly brushing her thumb over the back of it before picking up the arm and setting it back on her side.

“I will. I just need to use the restroom is all. Get back to sleep, Jojo.” She managed to slide another pillow under Josie in place of Penelope’s body and tiptoed out of the room. There was a light softly illuminating the staircase from the kitchen downstairs. At the island sat Hope who was nursing a mug of tea in between her hands. Her gaze flickered over to the living room area, Clarke and Lexa were fast asleep on the now pulled out cushion that turned the couch into a full sized bed. Landon wasn’t anywhere to be found, had he left? Hope saw Penelope immediately, giving her a knowing smile when the dark haired girl slid into the stool next to her after grabbing a glass of water. 

“Can’t sleep? Not even with Josie in your bed?” Hope teased. Penelope sipped her water, wishing that it was something stronger. But she didn’t want to go back to sleep in a bed where Josie was close enough to smell alcohol. This wasn’t something she wanted her to know, just yet.

“I could say the same about you. You seemed cozy on the couch with Landon earlier, where is mascot boy?” 

“He left a little while ago. His foster mom wanted him home.” Hope sighed, her fingers toying with the string on the teabag. “Another nightmare?” 

Penelope looked over at her friend. Her relationship with Lexa stretched years longer than the one with Hope, but it felt that they were friends for much longer. Somehow, Hope was able to read her emotions easily, especially when it came to things about her mother. She could easily go to Lexa for this type of thing as well, but both of the girls had the whole ‘absent parent’ trait in common which made it easier to talk about.

“Same one. I don’t know if it makes me feel more scared or pissed off that she has that power over me still.” She gulped down the rest of her water and laid her head down on her arms on the countertop. “I’m tired, Hope.” 

Hope set a hand on Penelope’s back, rubbing soothing circles. “I know you are, Pen. And I’m sorry. When is the next time she’s in town?” Penelope let out a breath and shrugged. “Next week, she’ll be back for a few days. I’m not sure if I can survive it, honestly. I might just hide out at Lexa’s.” Hope let out a quiet laugh and shuffled forward to wrap an arm around Penelope’s shoulders. “You’ll be fine. Maybe you two can finally talk things out. I know we always go on about the whole no parents thing, and maybe I lucked out that mine are gone. But I would give anything to even be able to see them again.” 

Penelope turned her head at this, eyes peaking out over her bicep to look at her friend. “I’m sorry.” She didn’t know what else to say. She knew that she was lucky to even have one parent still alive, but it didn’t feel that way when her mother was never around.

Hope shook her head, giving the girl’s shoulder a squeeze. “Don’t be. I know how you’re feeling, and I didn’t say what I did to make you feel bad. If you want, Lexa and I can be there for you as a buffer when you talk to your mom.” Penelope shook her head and moved to sit up straight, Hope’s arm stayed around her shoulders. 

“No. I think it’d be better if it was just the two of us. No one else should have to experience that.” 

“Penelope?” 

The two girls looked up at the sound of Josie’s voice. She rubbed an eye, focusing her vision on the two friends seated in front of her. Her eyes landed on the arm draped around Penelope and the lack of Landon. Something flickered in her eyes but it disappeared as fast as it came. Hope dropped her arm from Penelope’s shoulders, giving her best friend one last squeeze before excusing herself to the nearest bathroom. Penelope stood up from her seat and made her way over to Josie.

“What are you doing up? Did we wake you?” Penelope reached out to rub her hands up and down Josie’s arms when the girl shivered. 

“I didn’t end up falling back asleep after you left, and when you took a while I thought I should check up on you.” Penelope smiled at her. She set a hand on the small of Josie’s back and led her back upstairs to the bedroom. “Just having an infamous late night chat with Hope is all, but it’s late. Let’s get some sleep now, okay?” They slid into their respective sides on the bed, making themselves comfortable until Josie broke the silence. 

“Penelope?” 

“Yeah?”

“Will you go on a date with me? A real date, dinner, flowers, pick you up at 7 and then kiss you at your doorstep date?” 

Penelope smiled. “I thought’d never ask. But first, go back to sleep, Jojo. I’ll be here the next time you wake up.” 

++

Waking up the next morning was terrible considering it was only a few hours after her sudden wake up the night before. Her arm reached out to the side, finding an empty space with very little lingering heat. Only fair, Penelope supposed. Penelope sat up, stretching her arms over her head before getting out of bed. She quickly freshened up in the bathroom attached to her bedroom and began heading downstairs. The aroma of assorted breakfast foods cooking filled the air and it made Penelope’s stomach grumble on cue. 

She stepped into the kitchen, Clarke and Josie standing at the stove coming into view. “Adding milk into scrambled eggs is something my dad always did for me as a kid, still does even to this day. It makes them way fluffier but people can’t really get behind the idea of the two together so they miss out.” 

“Fluffy eggs are the only way to make eggs, I feel sorry for those people that are missing out.” Penelope looked around the room, Lexa was still fast asleep on the couch and Hope was setting the table. They exchanged polite smiles as Penelope crossed the room and made a beeline for Josie. 

“Oh, good morning Penelope. How’d you sleep?” She leaned in to press a kiss to her cheek but Penelope turned at the last second to connect their lips. Pink quickly dusted the apples of Josie’s cheeks and she looked away shyly. “I slept alright. How’s playing chef with Clarke?” At the mention of her name, the girl threw a thumbs up. 

“She makes a great sous chef. Our scrambled eggs will make history.” Penelope chuckled, moving over to give Clarke a quick hug before opening the fridge to find something to drink. “When you two open your scrambled egg specialty restaurant, don’t forget me.”

“Breakfast’s ready guys! Pen, can you help bring everything to the table? I have to wake up my girlfriend.” Clarke sighed playfully and threw a wink over in Penelope’s direction before making her way over to the living room. Penelope came up to Josie’s side, lightly nudging her with an elbow. “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting long. How was spending time with Clarke?”

Josie nudged her back, shrugging as she scooped food onto a plate. “Not at all. It was nice, Clarke’s fun to talk to. She’s got this amazing insight on art that just makes you rethink everything you’ve ever known about the subject. I can see why Lexa’s so smitten with her.” Penelope nodded in agreement. To an outsider’s perspective, the two of them had significant differences personality wise. But that’s what made them work. Normal people would say they wouldn’t believe in love if their parents broke up. Normal people haven’t met Lexa and Clarke and Penelope couldn’t imagine a world where they weren’t together.

“Clarke’s good company. She keeps all of our heads screwed on to be honest,” She took a sip of her water. It was roughly 10am now meaning that Penelope slept in longer than expected. “We’re not keeping you, are we? The gang will spend however long they want to here and I don’t want you to feel pressured to stay.” She took another sip, part of her was a bit nervous of what Josie would say. Of course the girl wanted her to stay as long as she liked but only on her own accord.

“Now who’s trying to run for the hills?” Josie smirked. A hand moved to give Penelope’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze to make sure the girl knew that she meant well. “I like being here, with you and your friends. You guys have an interesting aura and it’s refreshing.” Josie leaned over to grab a plate across the counter, deliberately getting closer than needed just to see how far she could tease Penelope. The darker haired girl opened her mouth to respond but the sound of the house phone ringing stopped her.

Her brows furrowed, taking a reluctant step back to retrieve the phone and hold it up to her ear.

“Hello?’

“Penny? Everything okay? You weren’t answering your cell.” The sound of Rose’s voice filtered through the other end. Penelope let out a breath. It had been a while since she last talked to the older lady. Rose had to go out of town for a few days due to family matters, and if it wasn’t for her friend’s insistent presence (and Josie), she would’ve felt a lot more lonelier than usual.

She turned around to look at Josie who was doing her best to look occupied but definitely curious. Clarke was sitting on the couch with Lexa’s head in her lap, the latter girl’s arms wrapped tightly around her waist while Hope leaned her head on Clarke’s shoulder. The poor girl wasn’t going anywhere.

“Penny? Are you there?”

“Ah. Yeah, I am. Sorry, just give me a second.” She cradled her phone in the crook of her neck while she crossed the room to go into the backyard. With an obnoxiously big house came an equally obnoxiously big backyard. Sat in the center was a pool, heated of course. Lounging chairs scattered around a fire pit and a flower bed surrounding the perimeter. Penelope moved to sit on one of the chairs, squinting at the brightness that Saturday morning brought.

“Is everything okay, Rose? How’s your family?”

The older lady sighed into the phone and remained silent for a beat before speaking up. “Everything is fine here, love. It’s your mother.”

A chill ran through Penelope, her body tensing at Rose’s words. “What about her?”

“She’s flying in in a few hours. I figured you deserved a warning. Ethan said that she mentioned something about having a conference in town and told me to tell you when she was arriving.” Ethan, his mother’s driver, bless his soul. Penelope’s mother hired him per Rose’s request and thank goodness that she did. Along with Rose, he would be the only one that would warn her anytime her mother so much as moved.

“I thought the conference wasn’t until next week?” She began rubbing her temple to soothe away the oncoming headache that was often associated with being in the same zip code as her mother.

“It isn’t. He didn’t say why else she wanted to come so early for. I’ll be home in a day, Penny. Don’t think that I’d leave you alone with that woman now, okay?” A beat of silence as she heard Rose pull the receiver away to say something to another person on the other end. “I have to go now sweetheart but I’ll see you soon. Rio misses you too. Take care now.”

“I will, thank you Rose. Be safe.”

An additional week to be spent with her mother. Looks like she’ll have to get another bottle of bourbon soon.

With a grunt, she pulled herself off the lounge chair and shuffled back into the house. She had her best poker face on, one that could occasionally get past even Hope. Upon entrance, she made a beeline for the dinner table that was now filled with breakfast.

“Everything good?” Hope looked up at her pointedly. Penelope just smiled, sliding into the seat next to Josie and picking up her fork.

“Fantastic. Let’s dig in.”

++

Breakfast was a good pallet cleanser for anything involving her mother. Lexa had finally woken up and made herself presentable for the dining table. Hope had to inform everyone yet again that her boyfriend dipped out on her, not to help his brother this time. Clarke told them about a new piece she was working on and her new coworker who seemed a tad too friendly. That caused a vein to pop on Lexa’s temple that only formed when she was trying too hard to be composed. Josie listened into the conversation, occasionally giving her opinions on whatever topic they were on. She truly perked up when Lexa talked about the piano lessons she had to take as a kid, mentioning that she herself had done the same.

It was nice to see Josie getting along with the closest people in her life. With the exception of Clarke, the rest of them were a bit wild and Josie’s calm demeanor would fit nicely into their dynamic. It was an hour and a half later when everyone began to leave. Penelope had managed to find small pockets alone with her friends to let them in on what was happening and not to worry if she was absent for the next few days. They knew the drill by now whenever her mother came into town.

Josie was the last one to leave and as Penelope walked her to her car, the other girl tugged on her hand.

“So, when can I cash in that date? The one with dinner and flowers then a goodnight kiss at the doorstep?” The smile Josie gave Penelope made her heart flip like a pancake. She returned the smile, realizing that it would be a while before they could hang out again.

“I’m going to need a few days before you can cash that in, Jojo. I have something that came up but I definitely won’t forget about it. Can I call you?” Penelope squeezed her hand reassuringly, hoping that Josie wouldn’t ask too many questions as to why they had to put a minor raincheck on their date.

To Josie’s credit, she didn’t let her expression change. Her smile hardly faltered and if it did, she covered it up just as quickly as it happened. “No rush, Penelope. I waited much too long for you to kiss me so I can wait a little longer for a proper date. I’ll see you at school?”

Penelope hesitated for a beat too long before tilting her head ever so slightly in a nod. “Yes. See you at school.” She leaned in then, finally able to press a soft goodbye kiss to Josie’s lips. They kept the kiss chaste, the last thing Penelope needed was her mother pulling into the driveway and seeing her with a girl. Penelope waited until Josie had turned the corner and out of her neighborhood before heading back inside. Ethan texted her ten minutes ago that her mother just landed and would be en route home in less than an hour. Which meant she had less than an hour to make the already pristine house immaculate.

The girl had already kept the house clean, Rose going the extra mile and doing an additional cleaning whenever she was around. She scrubbed down every surface visible and not visible in the house, changed the sheets in all four bedrooms and even dusted behind the refrigerator. With a little over ten minutes left, she quickly showered and made herself presentable to face her mother. Despite the burning desire to do anything and everything to go against her, the easier things went the next two weeks the easier it would be on Penelope. Her mother wouldn’t ask questions and things could possibly go smoothly for once. Those chances weren’t high.

She had just finished drying her hair when her phone went off.

_Ethan: Turning into the neighborhood._

Penelope darted out of her room and bounced down the stairs when she realized she hadn’t had the chance to get her bourbon. She cursed loudly just as the doorbell rang, causing her to jump. From her spot, she could make out the silhouette of someone that didn’t belong to her mother or Ethan. She swung the door open quickly to see Lexa holding a brown paper bag creased into the shape of a bottle.

“You’re god sent, you know that Woods?” She ushered the girl into her house quickly, taking the bottle from her and running back up to set it in her room.

“Of course I do. People tell me all the time how I’m sculpted by the gods,” Lexa bragged with her signature smirk. Penelope rolled her eyes and pushed her friend in the direction of the backdoor.

“She’s going to be here soon, backyard is your best bet to avoid her wrath right now. Post plane ride is one of her most irritable moods.”

Lexa just nodded, sliding out the backdoor but poking her head back in at the last moment.

“Call me for anything. My house is always open, you know the door code.” The darker haired girl gave her friend a nod, hoping her appreciation could be shown in her expression alone.

The second the backdoor closed, the front opened. Penelope inhaled a breath slowly and made her way over to the hallway. She was greeted by Ethan first, his long brown hair parted down the middle and signature mole on his cheek. He wore his usual black suit, his eyes widening in exaggeration when they made eye contact. Penelope bit back a laugh and set a hand on his arm in acknowledgement.

“Penelope.”

Two sets of green eyes met. There at the entrance of the house stood her mother. Long, curly black hair with hints of gray. Her facial features were flawless, barely a trace of aging in her face. The two were cut from the same cloth, features so identical down to a tee that there was no doubt she was her mother’s daughter. With the exception of Penelope’s scar, of course. The both of them harbored the same unwavering confidence strong enough to command any room they walked in, one of many reasons that led to their clashing personalities.

“Mother. Welcome home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you all for the kind comments and kudos! Can't believe this fic is almost at 2,000 hits, my mind is blown. Stay safe and stay hydrated!


	9. Look Around

“You’ve gotten thinner.”

Their eyes met from across the dining table, it was fifteen minutes before Sabine decided to speak up and break the awkward silence between her and her daughter.

“Are you eating enough?”

“Of course.” Penelope pushed a piece of steak around her plate before finally bringing it to her mouth when her mother’s stare was beginning to get overwhelming.

“I’ve been spending more time training.” Little tidbits of her life, that’s all she would give. Her mother was never around long enough to see anything come to fruition anyways. Penelope glanced over at the kitchen where Rose usually stood during their dinners, wiping down the counter top but probably listening in on the conversation more than anything. She really wished she was here already.

“I honestly don’t know why you spend your free time doing something like that. You could hurt yourself. You’re better off doing things that will actually aid you in your future, Penelope.” Their eyes met again and for the first time in months, Penelope could see a glint of something that wasn’t indifference in her mother’s eyes.

“I won’t have much of a future if I don’t stay healthy now, right?” The corner of her lip twitched, aching to pull into her signature smirk. But she knew better than to give her mother that look, not unless she wanted another scar to match.

Sabine gripped her fork, her jaw set as she reached for her glass of wine. “I do believe the purpose of staying healthy is so you can live your future. And that future requires you to do well in your studies so you can follow in the Park footsteps.”

Ah yes. The ‘Park footsteps’. Practically everyone in her family had attended some form of Ivy League university, anyone that didn’t might as well have been considered failures. Both of her parents attended Columbia University which is where they met. As a child, Penelope wished to do the same. Attend Columbia to follow in her parents footsteps and make them proud, now a part of her loathed the idea of attending the same school her mom went to.

“I’m doing just fine in school.” Was all Penelope managed to let out. She polished off the rest of her food, excused herself from the table and murmured a quick thank you for the meal before setting her plate in the sink.

“Penelope.”

She stopped where she was, one foot on the bottom step of the staircase and one hand on the rail. 

“Yes?”

“There’s a gala coming up for the company. I expect you to be in attendance. Your dress is already picked out for you and I know you don’t have anything coming up.” Sabine hesitated, her words gradually coming out less harsh than before. “I would greatly appreciate it.”

That was a first. It almost sounded like she had a choice in the matter. Penelope chewed her lip for a moment. Keeping up this fight with her mother was absolutely exhausting and she was tired. There were a thousand other things she could’ve said in response but the idea of having to weather another conflict with her mother made her want to collapse. Instead, she agreed quietly and made her way to her bedroom.

++

The only highlight of Sunday was Rose coming home. The second she stepped through the threshold of the house, she wrapped Penelope in a hug so tight Penelope swore a few bones were cracked in the process. Having Rose at the house as a buffer would make her mother being home much more bearable. But Rose could only stay for so long before she had to get back to Rio, Penelope understood that.

Sabine had left half way into breakfast for a business meeting downtown, leaving Penelope to her own devices. She thought about texting Josie, they hadn’t talked since she left her house the day prior but Josie was most likely busy with her family today. Hope usually spent her Sundays catching up on schoolwork and baking with her Aunt Rebekha , and on the off chance she wasn’t tangled up in Clarke, Lexa would be at home relaxing.

She ended up settling for a drive to clear her head. Some fresh air would be good for her.

It had been long enough that Penelope’s relationship with her mother should’ve been mended between the two by now. The more time she spent away from her mother, she slowly felt her anger begin to dissipate and be replaced with the simple need of having a parental figure in her life. Yet, every time their eyes meet and her mother looks at her with… that _look_ in her eyes, the anger is back and any desire for a mother is gone.

Penelope didn’t think did was possible for her mother to harbor so much resentment towards her own daughter. There have been countless nights where she’d lie in bed and wonder what it was that she did wrong. Nothing ever really stuck. So, instead of sleep, she drowned her sorrows in other people. It ended up creating a reputation for her at school but she couldn’t care less.

Not until recently, at least.

For a girl that was clean cut and good natured, it came as a surprise that Josie of all people didn’t seem to mind Penelope’s rather promiscuous past. Any and all doubt that Penelope had washed away the first time they made eye contact in the diner. That was the second time she’d saw her there. The first time Penelope saw Josie was just through the window from the parking lot. She was dropping off a girl after a late night when she turned around and saw her standing there. Josie was leaning against the counter in a rather empty diner, pen twirling in hand as she read a book on the table. Penelope knew then that Josie had caught her eye but the prospect of dealing with Lizzie and high chance of rejection put her off. Thank the high heavens that she kept going back to the diner after that.

Penelope had been so caught up in her thoughts that she didn’t realize she’d driven all the way to the outskirts of town. The ‘Welcome to Mystic Falls’ sign stared back at her mockingly when she made a U-turn. She figured Lexa would still be up to chat and she’d hang around her house for a while. Rose mentioned going back home to check on Rio, her mother would remain gone for the rest of the day, there wasn’t a lot waiting for her at home.

++

Anytime that Lexa and Clarke weren’t together was an odd sight. She had arrived just as Lexa turned on a new movie to watch with a fresh bowl of popcorn. Lexa had let her in no questions asked, already knowing that a full day was already a lot for Penelope to wait until showing up at her doorstep. The two of them plopped onto the couch, nothing more than a few words exchanged between the two before Lexa nudged her with her foot.

“Only two more weeks, right? You’ve made it through day one.” Penelope chuckled, grabbing a small handful of popcorn.

“Only the rest of my life to go.” She mumbled quietly between pieces of popcorn. “Every time I think that I forgive her and am ready for her to come back into my life, she just goes and proves me wrong. I’m tired of the bickering and fights, Lex.” The brunette rested a hand on Penelope’s shoulder, giving her a reassuring squeeze.

“Whether you like it or not, she’s your mother. Things will get better between you two, I know it. You just need to be able to sit down with her and have a civil conversation without any yelling.” Penelope opened her mouth to respond but was quickly cut off by Lexa’s hand pushing at her face.

“Not done. I know how both of you are and what I’m saying sounds ridiculous but you need to try. Keep your cool long enough to talk things out, and if things go south I’ll let you kick my ass to high hell at the gym.”

Penelope slapped her friends hand away, a big smile tugging at her lips. “You’re a total pain in the ass but you can be pretty smart sometimes. I can’t make any promises but I do want to try. I just hope the house doesn’t fall down in the process.”

They laid on the couch for another two hours after that, putting all their attention on the movie before a doorbell interrupted a heavy conversation about conspiracy theories. Lexa flung the door open to see Hope with a tray of baked goods in her hands and a wide grin. “Call it intuition but I had a feeling both my presence and baking skills were needed.” Penelope shot up from her seat and bounced over to Hope. She threw her arms around the red head in a tight squeeze.

“Hey! Any harder and you’ll snap my neck Pen.” Hope tapped on the other girls arm, like they normally did when sparring, and Penelope released her grip immediately but still held her at arms length. “I thought Sundays were for Freya?”

Hope shrugged, giving her elbow a squeeze before stepping out of her space. “Like I said, intuition. Freya’s understanding when it comes to helping family.” Penelope couldn’t help the goofy smile that overcame her as she watched Lexa and Hope fight for the first piece of Freya’s brownies. The sight alone made her heart feel full, and also knowing that she was lucky enough to have people care about her made it feel like it was going to explode.

She threw herself in between her two friends and snuggled close. The only thing that would make this moment better would be if Josie were here too. Just one more day. She laid her head against Hope’s shoulders and pulled out her phone to fire off a quick text.

_Penelope: See you at your locker?_

It was only a couple of seconds before she got a response.

_Josie: Of course._

_Josie: How do you like your coffee?_

Penelope went to respond with something witty but another message caught her eye in the process.

_Mother: Where are you? There’s something I need to talk to you about._

The eye roll was instantaneous at first glance of her mother’s message. Rather than ruining the moment, she locked her phone and tossed it to the empty couch a few feet away. Her friends gave her an odd look and Penelope just shrugged.

Unfortunately, their peace only lasted one movie before Penelope’s phone began ringing excessively. Being ignored was not something that Penelope’s mother enjoyed, especially when it hinges on _her_ time.

Penelope sighed. It was better to just face the music and give in now before her mother called a helicopter to come pick her up. She carefully pulled herself away from her friends who were groggy with sleep and checked the message.

_Mother: It’s serious, Penelope._

_Mother: Don’t make things difficult, I don’t have the time for this_

_Mother: You have ten minutes to respond or I’m sending Ethan to drag you home._

_Mother: Five._

_Penelope: What is it?_

_Mother: (…)_

_Mother: Come home now, we’re having this discussion in person._

She glanced up out the window where the sun had begun to set, signaling the near end of the day. Whether she wanted to or not, she was going to have to go home.

“I’m going to call it an early night, duty calls.”

++

The house was lit up from the inside as Penelope made her way up the driveway. Through the window, she could see Rose in the kitchen and her mother seated at the island, laptop and papers laid out in front of her. She stood there, chewing on her lip for a moment in order to gather her thoughts together.

“Penelope.” Her mother called out to her the second the door chimed.

“Penny!” A smile immediately took over her previously neutral expression at the sound of her favorite five-year-old’s voice. Rio rounded the corner so quickly that she skidded before literally _launching_ herself at Penelope. Thankfully, she caught the girl easy, spinning her around for good measure when Rio’s arms squeezed her.

“Rio! How’s my most favorite person in the world?”

“I’ve missed you! I made two new friends this week. There’s Travis, he’s kind of okay, but Madie is really fun. She’s got tons of cool toys she always brings.” Penelope made sure to listen carefully to Rio’s ramblings about the trials and tribulations of first grade. The fact that both Rose and Rio were at the house was a good sign. Her mother was likely in a good mood and the tension easily left her shoulders.

Rio squirmed out of Penelope’s arms in favor of running over to her mother who stood at the stove.

“Mommy! Penny’s here, did you see?” Rose smiled at her daughter then up at Penelope from over her shoulder. Penelope gave a little wave before turning to look at her mother. Her brows were knitted together, fingers flying across the keyboard of her laptop as she typed out a memo likely to some of her staff.

“Mother. How was your day?” She said as she slid into the seat next to her. Having Rose as a buffer made Penelope feel bold. There was no need to be timid with her movements and she hoped that her mother knew better than to berate her in front of little Rio too.

“Quite fine. No surprises in the meetings so things are going smoothly.” Sabine’s tone lacked the usual shortness that Penelope had eventually began to believe was a permanent fixture in her mother’s speech. “I’m going to need the name of your plus one for the gala.”

She pursed her lips. She barely had time to even think about the gala itself. As much as she didn’t want to go, the ‘peace’ in the moment they had now wasn’t worth ruining. The gala was in a week, _would Josie want to go?_ Penelope had always been one for bold moves and as Lexa would say, _Speak it into existence!_

“Josette Saltzman.” Either there was the slightest hint of a smile on her mother’s face or Penelope was just seeing things. But whatever it was, it was gone just seconds later.

“Good. I’ll send you what your dress looks like, make sure they match.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little hard to get through due to writer's block. I've had most of it written for a while but didn't like how it ended so I held off, but I think I've got an idea of where to go with this now! Thanks for giving this a read. I also started a new fic (because when you can't write one story, naturally you start a whole other one) please do check it out if you can! Wishing you all the best x


	10. After All the Confessions

“Black coffee, one sugar. How do you even drink that?” Penelope peaked around her locker door and automatically a smile was on her face. Josie was standing there, two cups of coffee in her hands with her eyes fixated on the cup she held out to Penelope. Her brows were knitted together in the cutest way that made Penelope want to kiss away the pout on her lips.

“Maybe because that’s how coffee is _supposed_ to be enjoyed,” She grabbed the cup from her and took a long sip, much to Josie’s disgust. The brunette shivered as if the sight was truly worse than it actually was.

“Too bitter, even with the one sugar. They offer milk and sugar for a reason, Pen.” They both smiled at each other, just drinking in each other’s presence before Josie quickly leaned in to press a kiss to Penelope’s cheek. “How was your Sunday?”

Penelope tensed slightly but quickly brushed it off. “It was alright. My mother and I haven’t torn each other to bits yet so that’s a good sign.” Josie’s smile was sympathetic as she leaned against the locker next to Penelope’s. One of her hands reached out to brush against the darker haired girls’. “Is this okay?” The display of affection took Penelope off guard for a second. It wasn’t much but it was still something, at school nonetheless. Penelope knew well that she wasn’t alone in her feelings and things were progressing in the right direction with Josie. Hell, she practically broke up with her boyfriend (Kind of not really?) because of her!

Yet, why does she still go to sleep every night thinking otherwise?

The look in Josie’s eyes was timid, her hand as light as a feather against Penelope’s as if she were to run away at anything more. She really needed to get it through her head that Josie does like her for her. And she also _really_ needed to tell Josie about the gala on Saturday. She slipped her hand into Josie’s, interlacing their fingers and giving it a squeeze.

“More than. But I also have something to ask you.” Josie immediately perked up at that. She was standing at full height now, reminding Penelope that she definitely needed to invest in a good pair of heels. “What is it?”

“Would you like to be my date to a gala on Saturday? It’s for my mom’s company and I’m expected to attend no matter what, but I’m allowed to bring a plus one.” Penelope’s smile widened. “It’s mostly boring but there’s an open bar and dancing. This _also_ doesn’t count as the date, just a little something extra.” By now Josie’s smile matched Penelope’s and there was no doubt in her mind now that she’s been stupid overthinking things all this time.

“I’ve never been to a gala before,” Josie said softly before letting out a soft chuckle. “I would love to.”

The bell rang at that moment, breaking the two of them out of their little trance that neither had realized they were in. Penelope tugged on Josie’s hand in the direction of their class, only letting go at the last moment when she felt Josie’s grip relax. She turned to look in the classroom and sure enough, Lizzie was practically staring daggers at them. But Penelope brushed it off, she was in too good of a mood to let the blonde ruin it. One thing at a time, light handholding by the locker was more than enough for a milestone today. Still, there was a small piece of her deep inside that told her Lizzie and her unneeded opinions were going to cause more trouble than they should.

++

The rest of the week leading up to the gala was busier than ever. Penelope was tugged back and forth running errands for her mother and trying to get all her schoolwork done before the weekend. It didn’t help that Josie was scheduled to work the whole week at the diner on top of cheerleading practice right after school. The only time Penelope would see her would be during class and occasionally at the diner when she would drop by on slow nights to keep the brunette company. Outside of that, they texted as much as possible and even FaceTimed a couple of times.

It was during the week that they gradually got more touchy with each other. They had graduated to full on handholding and a few kisses in the hallway and even in front of Lizzie. There was one time on Wednesday when Penelope stayed after to watch Josie at cheerleading practice that nearly made the girl faint on the spot. Josie had just finished a routine when she spotted Penelope against the gates of the track. She jogged over to her, the rest of the squad going over the next routine behind her and gave Penelope a kiss that made her knees weak. She could faintly hear the rest of the squad whispering about them and Lizzie’s fake gagging, but it all drowned out when she felt Josie’s tongue brush against her bottom lip.

She tripped going up the bleachers which made Hope and Lexa laugh so hard they were bent over on the floor.

It felt nice to be ‘shown off’ by Josie. A lot of Penelope’s past relationships were either in secret or were strictly physical, making it no point in showing PDA. But Penelope made sure to humble herself. As she was nursing the bruise that began to blossom on her shin, she kept reminding herself that the relationship still wasn’t established. They were still technically in the ‘talking’ stage and at the end of the day, Josie owed her nothing. These thoughts only worsened each time she caught Finn or Rafael staring in Josie’s direction. Their flirting was obvious and while Josie always brushed it off, there was still a feeling that settled in the pit of her stomach. Jealousy looked good on no one. Especially not on Penelope Park.

There was a reason why Penelope never had a long term relationship. Partly because the other person was just a poor choice, and partly because of her. Getting close to someone and letting herself be exposed to them _terrified_ her. She never wanted someone to have that power over her. It was a terrible mindset that she desperately needed to get over but old habits die hard. Josie was not the type of person to hurt anyone like that, she was good.

But. _Just in case._

It was Friday night. Josie had her last shift of the week at the diner and Penelope planted herself in the booth they first met in half an hour into Josie’s shift. The blush on the brunette’s face told her the feeling of her butt falling asleep from the crappy diner booth was worth it. She had her papers and notebooks spread out all over the table trying to finish the last assignment before she was free for the entire weekend. The early dinner rush died down and Josie was taking her break seated across from Penelope. She had her elbow on the table, chin resting in her upturned palm as she watched Penelope scribble down a math formula.

“Pen?”

“Huh?” Penelope grunted. She quickly finished off the rest of the equation and tucked the pen behind her ear before glancing up at the girl. “What’s up?”

A beat of silence.

“I really like you.”

Penelope couldn’t help the blush that flooded her cheeks and she dropped her gaze to the table, a lopsided smile on her face. “I like you too.”

Josie dropped her arms onto the table with a thud and leaned her head down to catch the darker haired girl’s eyes. “That’s _all_? I tell you that I _really_ like you and you basically Han Solo me?” The grin on the brunette’s face told Penelope that she was just teasing and she rolled her eyes playfully.

“I _really_ like you too, Jojo.” She reached out to grab the taller girl’s hand but she was quick to pull back, a playful pout on her lips. “Now you’re just telling me what I want to hear.”

Penelope chuckled, throwing a balled up napkin at her. “You’re so annoying.”

“You love it.”

“Actually, I only _kinda_ like it, according to you.”

It was Josie’s turn to throw a napkin. She slid out of the booth, sticking her tongue out at Penelope. “Touche. My break’s over so I have to get back to work now.” She dipped down to press a kiss to Penelope’s cheek before walking behind the counter. Green eyes followed Josie’s retreating figure until they disappeared behind the swinging door before turning to finish the rest of her math homework. However, she only managed to get ten minutes of work done due to her own wandering eyes. Her eyes scanned up and down Josie’s figure, did her uniform fit better than usual? It was _definitely_ more form fitting than she remembered. She quickly shook the visual away and dropped her gaze down to the sheet.

Getting homework done was going to be harder than usual.

++

All day Saturday Penelope was put through the wringer. Her mother scheduled her for so many appointments, Penelope felt like Katniss in the Hunger Games. Hair, nails, wax, and for some reason it was required for her to have a _designer_ put her dress on for her. That part was kind of useless, she was more than capable of slipping into the dress and zipping it up herself. By the time she was done, it was nearing 5pm. She had texted Josie earlier that day to confirm the time and place which was meant with a photo of her still in bed, considering that was at 5am.

“Penelope.” Her mother called. She rolled her eyes, it only ever seemed like she said Penelope’s name as a statement.

“The car is here, let’s go.” Sabine said as Penelope made her way down the stairs. The car ride was silent and surprisingly not tense. “Where’s your date?’

“She’s meeting us there.”

A beat of silence.

“Am I going to need to remember this ones name?”

A witty remark was on the tip of her tongue until she realized that her mother really said. Penelope whipped her head to the side. Her mother never took an interest in really anyone in Penelope’s life. The only reason she knew about Hope and Lexa was because they’ve stuck around for so long, and even now her opinion of them was still up in the air. And well, it wasn’t like there was anyone worth mentioning anyways. She watched her mother’s side profile carefully. The expression she wore right now was different. The normally stoic, hard look that Penelope thought was permanently etched onto her face was gone. Even though her eyes were glued to the phone in her hand, they flickered over to Penelope every so often. It looked like she was being more careful with her words, not wanting to do anything to ruin the mood.

Now it was Penelope’s turn to be careful with her words. This was a big deal. Her mother was extending an olive branch and showing an interest in Penelope’s life. It wasn’t the _best_ branch but it was better than nothing. Maybe her mother was tired of all the fighting and bickering too. Who knew when the next time this kind of thing was going to happen? She thought about Josie. Things had gotten serious between them. The gala was a big deal to her mother and Josie was a big deal to Penelope. Ideally, she would’ve waited longer until introducing Josie to her family but maybe now was the best time.

“Yeah. You are.” Penelope nodded, a small smile lining her lips.

Security lined the entire perimeter, Penelope was sure of it. Were they trying to be another Met Gala or something?

The gala was _huge._ Penelope had been to her fair share of these things yet she was baffled every time. Just at the entrance alone there were three ice sculptures. _Why?_

The first fifteen minutes after their arrival consisted of Penelope painting on her best smile and most pleasant voice when greeting everyone she was thrown to. Investors, coworkers, aunts and uncles that weren’t really her aunts and uncles, and on the off chance, family. It was also every time that she attended these events that she remembered all the reasons why she did her best to avoid them. She didn’t know if it was a blessing or a curse that her mother stayed within earshot of her the entire time.

“These are important people you need to remember, Penelope. Be nice to them because you’ll be interacting with them a lot more often once you start your internship.” Penelope nodded, not really paying much attention to her mother’s ramblings anymore. Things felt like they were dragging and every time she reached for a new flute of champagne, it was a new hour. She was on her second. It didn’t help all the times that her mother gave her a pointed look every so often and all Penelope could do was shrug. She pulled out her phone and stared at the multiple of messages she had sent Josie asking where she was. Her thumb hovered over the keys, intent on typing up another message. How many was too many? She’d already written four, is five the tipping point?

With a sigh, she pocketed the phone in her purse and set off to find something stronger to drink.

By the time another hour had passed, Penelope gave up all hope that Josie was coming. Did something happen? It wouldn’t have mattered if something came up, truly. Yes, he was hurt, of course she was. But the girl could’ve at least sent her a message or something. If it wasn’t for the four flutes of champagne and double whiskey, she would’ve felt a lot worse.

“Penelope.” She lolled her head to the side, giving her mother a lopsided smile.

“Yes, mother?”

“How many drinks have you had?”

Penelope pursed her lips, brows knitted together. Math was suddenly a _very_ hard concept that she couldn’t seem the grasp right now. Why was math so important anyways? When in her _life_ would she ever need to know the hypotenuse? Of what, her pizza? What was the question again?

“I would tell you, mother. But it seems like I’ve forgotten how to count.” She met her mother’s glare with another lopsided smile. The glass made it an inch away from her mouth before it was rudely ripped out of her hands.

“You’re drunk, Penelope. Get your act together or I’m having Ethan take you home.”

Penelope scoffed. “He’s not really my type, mother. Not sure how well that would go.” Her hand flicked up to flag the bartender down. The poor boy was only met with Penelope’s mother’s deadly stare and then he was quick to turn away.

“I’m calling Ethan.”

“Ooh, tell him to pick up some cheeseburgers on the way. I’m starving.” Penelope straightened in her seat, suddenly giddy at the idea of finally eating. She managed to chug one more glass of champagne before she felt Ethan grab her arm and lead her out to the car. There were a few stumbles on the way, but Ethan managed to keep her looking somewhat put together until she was tucked into the backseat. Her body slumped down to lay on her side immediately, eyes feeling heavier by the second.

“Ethan?”

“Yes, Penelope?”

“Can we get cheeseburgers?”

Ethan chuckled softly. “Of course. Any other stops before home?”

Penelope thought for a second. Her brain was still fuzzy for the most part but a piece of her was still worried about Josie. She dug up the phone from the bottom of her purse and frowned when there were still no new messages from her favorite brown eyed girl.

“Can we stop by this address?”

++

Ethan was not just an exceptional driver but an even better cheeseburger chooser. Chooser? Is it a coincidence that chooser and cheeseburger have the same first two letters? Cheeseburger Chooser sounded like a cool name. Penelope would know, her family loved alliterations.

The first initial bite of burger turned into three and soon she was unwrapping her second one by the time Ethan pulled up outside of the Saltzman household. She set the burger down on the seat and stepped out of the car. The walk from across the street to the front door felt like two miles and it did _not_ help that the floor was spinning. Oh god. Was she the one person that could feel the Earth rotating on its axis?

No. Focus. Front door.

She heaved in a breath and knocked on the door. It was a couple of seconds until she heard footsteps and saw the light inside turn on. But instead she was greeted with the wrong Saltzman twin.

Lizzie cocked a brow, one arm leaning against the doorway. “What do you want, Satan?”

Penelope’s eyes narrowed up at the girl. _Why were there three of them?_ Despite the heavy intoxication, her body still knew how to act when in the presence of the much more _annoying_ girl. She crossed her arms and held her chin up. “Is Josie here?”

The surprised expression that overtook Lizzie’s face only further confused Penelope. If Penelope had looked closer, she would’ve seen something else in the blonde’s eyes, but the alcohol was clouding her brain far too much by now. “She’s not here. She’s with Raf.”

Her body reacted first. The shock, it was a hollow feeling. It was a lie, right? But Penelope knew Lizzie enough that she wasn’t the best actress. But if Josie had been with Raf, it would’ve made sense as to why she never responded to her messages. Right?

“What?” The words came out in a choked whisper. There was something, a pang deep in her belly. Jealousy? Anger? Sadness?

“Yeah. She’s been with him practically all day.” Lizzie added.

Lizzie’s words only made her feel worse. _All day._ Her arms dropped to her sides, the alcohol induced haze gradually lifting. “Oh. Alright. Thanks.” She left quickly after that, successfully only stumbling a small handful of times compared to the trek just moments earlier.

_She’s with Raf. All. Day._ It was nearing midnight already and she still wasn’t home. What was her deal? Things had been going well between them and Josie seemed fine this morning. Her mind was reeling. The gala wasn’t a big deal but at the same time, it was. Just another crappy party her mother wanted her to attend but the idea of finally being able to show off Josie for once seemed nice. No, she was thinking too far into things. Yeah, she got blown off, no big deal. Penelope was a big girl and she’d get over it. But introducing her to her mother seemed scary but a big enough of a step to show Josie that she was ready. Serious. To prove herself. Or was she just stupid? Is this just karma for everything that she’s done? Josie was good. She wouldn’t hurt anyone.

Maybe Penelope should’ve listened to her instincts like always. There was a reason why she had that gut feeling. At least this time it wasn’t her fault things are fucked.

“Is everything alright, Penelope?” Ethan asked her when she slid into the backseat.

Penelope glanced over at the poorly wrapped cheeseburger next to her on the seat. Her appetite was gone and all she wanted now was to scrub her face and go to bed. She’ll deal with everything else another time. Or maybe not at all. Nothing another bottle couldn’t fix. Right?

“Who knows.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a mess. Can you tell that I'm not the best at angst? ((Though I do read a bunch of it bc ya girl just used to it at this point, especially being a posie fan :/)) I'm open to suggestions on writing though! I finished my assignments for the semester so I should have more time to brainstorm and pick at writing.


	11. To The Scars

Everything hurt. It was hard to breathe; was her nose swollen? Her head was pounding, her feet were sore, and her whole body just _hurt._ As her eyes fluttered open, she took in her surroundings. Relief washed over her when she realized that at least she wasn’t in some unfamiliar room, it wouldn't be the first. Instead she laid in her own bed, the panic that rose in her chest previously washed away. The flickering clock on her nightstand told her that it was still morning. _10am. Curse her internal clock._ She brought a hand up to her face to touch her nose gingerly. It wasn’t broken, but there was definitely a bump. How did that happen? The next thing she realized was the warmth emanating from her side. She moved to sit up in bed to assess that it was in fact a person sleeping next to her. And that she was in just a bra and panties.

Oh.

No.

Slowly, she turned her head over to lift the blanket and reveal who’s warm body has been sleeping next to her for God knows how long. Red hair, smooth white skin. It could’ve been anyone really, a stranger if she was lucky. But as soon as her eyes landed on the crescent moon birthmark on the girl's shoulder, she didn’t know if she should be relieved or worried.

“Hope.” Her voice was low and husky, partly due to sleep and the other part due to her drinking.

No response.

“Hope, wake the fuck up.” She spoke a little louder this time, cringing when her voice cracked just the slightest at the end. Hungover mixed with ‘early’ mornings was a candid recipe for a cranky Penelope.

“Hope!” This time she didn’t hesitate to smack the girl on the shoulder. The girl shot up immediately, one hand shooting out to grab Penelope’s.

“Jeez, what the hell? Need something?” Green eyes scanned her body briefly. She wasn’t wearing much, but there were still clothes. One of Penelope’s oversized shirts and short shorts. Thank God. The last thing Penelope needed after yesterday was to accidentally sleep with her best friend in a fit of sadness.

Last night. Thinking back now, things were _definitely_ blurry. She remembered the gala. Her mother ushering her to anyone with a heart beat. She remembered the feeling of realizing that Josie hadn’t shown up. _The cheeseburgers._ Lizzie’s words. The hurt. The bitterness. Then.

Nothing.

“What happened last night? How did you get here?”

Hope was sitting against the headboard next to her now, running a hand through her hair before speaking.

“Well. You were a mess, to begin. It’s been a while since you got that plastered. I can only tell you what you’ve told me so far and that’s not a lot. You sure you can’t remember anything?”

The darker haired girl thought for a moment sucking in her bottom lip between her teeth. The headache still hadn’t subsided but as she thought about it more, fragments of last night slowly started to come back to her.

…

_“Ethan?”_

_“Yes, Penelope?” Brown eyes peaked over at her through the windshield, but it wasn’t like she could see. She was laying down in the backseat, staring at the phone above her with her brows knitted together._

_“Why do you think Josie hasn’t been responding? Or why she didn’t show up? Was it too much? I mean, what teenager actually wants to go to a gala? It’s not the 1920s.” Her phone slipped from her grasp and landed on her face with a loud smack and a little grunt left her lips._

_“Penelope, that’s the third time you’ve dropped your phone on your face. I think you should sit up. We’re almost home.”_

_She scrambled up into a sitting position only to wedge herself between the two front seats. It took a few seconds of careful maneuvering but she found a comfortable spot. “You didn’t answer my question.”_

_Ethan sighed. Their eyes met in the mirror once again and he gave her a sympathetic smile. “I’m sure something came up. Her phone could’ve broke, or she had an emergency and forgot it. From what I’ve heard from your mother, she seems like a great girl.”_

_Penelope shot forward, an arm grabbing Ethan’s as she leaned in close. “My mother talked to you about her? They haven’t even met.”_

_The driver shrugged, not speaking right away like he knew he should be keeping this information to himself. “She may or may not have gotten the intel from Rose. And other means that I am not too sure about. I just know that she checks in with Rose every few days when she’s away working, and Rose mentioned Josie.”_

_What the hell? What was she supposed to do with this information now? Weirdly enough, it irked her. Penelope had spent so much time thinking that her mother could care less, but it turns out she’s been showing an interest more than she thought._

_“I really like her. I think I—” She cut herself off. The words left her lips in a quiet whisper, not really wanting anyone to hear. If she said it any louder, it would only open herself up to more hurt. If she voiced it then it would only be more real. Gah. She knew this whole situation as stupid but that was just the way she was feeling right now._

_She was also feeling like something else._

_“Ethan.”_

_“Yes, Penelope?”_

_“Can we get slurpees?”_

_++_

_Penelope left her shoes behind in the car as she stumbled through the threshold. No lights were on. Her mother was still at the gala most likely and Rose was gone for the day. Not feeling like taking the stairs, she plopped herself down on the couch and stared up at her phone again, thinking. She didn’t want to be alone right now. Ethan had to get back to her mother and frankly, he sucked at iSpy._

_She dialed in Hope’s number and set the phone on her face as she waited for her to pick up._

_“Penelope?”_

_“Hopey! Come over. I’m bored. Please.”_

_“Is everything alright, Pen? I thought you were at the gala.”_

_“I was,” Penelope heaved in a breath. “Josie didn’t show up. And I’m kind of drunk but I got a slurpee that I think I will add some Jack to. We can share! I promise, there's like.... half left.”_

_There was shuffling on the other end of the phone for a little before Hope spoke up again. “I’ll be there in a few.”_

_Hope made it to her house in record time. She walked in to see Penelope sitting upside down on her couch, her head dangling off the edge while her legs were kicking around over the back. Her dress laid crumbled on the floor next to her, leaving the girl in just her underwear._

_“Hope!” The red haired girl laid next to her on the couch and smiled._

_“Are you okay?”_

_Penelope shrugged. She rolled over onto her stomach and took a long sip before answering. “Josie hasn’t answered my messages all day, then she didn’t show up to the gala. My mom wanted to meet her too, she’s been asking Rose to update her on my relationships.” Hope’s eyes widened and she reached over to pat her friend on the back. “I’ve known Josie for a while. She’ll have a good reason as to why she couldn’t make it.”_

_“Lizzie said she was with Raf.” Her hand stilled, lips pulling down into a frown._

_“You saw Lizzie?”_

_Penelope nodded, finishing the rest of her slurpee. “I went to her house to see if she was okay. That’s when Lizzie told me.” Penelope took Hope’s silence as an offer to continue._

_“Am I just being overly dramatic about this? She blew me off, what’s the big deal? People cancel, things happen. I need to get some thicker skin.”_

_‘You’re allowed to feel hurt, Penelope. It’d be one thing if she told you she couldn’t make it, but completely ghosting you is another.” She shuffled closer to put an arm around Penelope who in turn nuzzled her head onto the girl’s shoulder. Drunk Penelope usually meant an overly affectionate Penelope._

_“I knew things were going too well. I should’ve known I would’ve fucked things up somehow. Gah, when did I get so soft? Maybe Lexa’s right. Love is weakness.”_

_Hope rolled her eyes. “Lexa is the most love ridden puppy I know. She only says that when she eats too much of Clarke’s cooking and gains a belly. If anything love makes you strong. And I know that you haven’t been on the receiving end of that very much, because hey, me neither. This is new to you, there are going to be hardships but you live and you learn. No one gets it right the first time.”_

_The back of her eyes began to sting. No. Penelope wasn’t going to let herself be emotional now. She didn’t cry anymore. She scrunched her eyes tightly, her breathing gradually getting more and more intense as she took each and every emotion and shoved it back into the box they escaped from. “It was all just a stupid idea. I shouldn’t have.. I should’ve—“_

_“Hey,” Hope pulled back enough to look Penelope in the eyes, hands moving to cup her friend’s cheeks. “This is not your fault. This is just a small bump in the road, you’re drunk so your feelings are everywhere. Everything will work itself out, Pen. Let’s get you to bed now, okay?” Hope took one of Penelope’s arms over her own shoulders to help guide the girl up the stairs._

_As they walked, Penelope swore she saw movement outside the window of her house. But then again, she also thought she had ten fingers on one hand earlier. The second her head hit the pillow, she was out._

_…_

Penelope dragged her hands across her face, sighing. “I left some ibuprofen on your nightstand and some water. I’ll get you something to eat.” Hope called to her. She took the medicine right away, anything to get rid of the headache. Next was a hot shower. She was sure she spilt half the drinks she had last night on her dress at some point during the night. The shower eased her muscles but did little to calm her mind. She should’ve checked her phone for any message from Josie before jumping in here.

Clad in only a bath towel, she raced over to the nightstand only to find her phone was dead. _Damn it._ It would take another couple minutes until it had enough juice to power up, _might as well check on breakfast first._ She tugged on her clothes for the day, jeans and a v-neck T-shirt, she checked her phone one last time before tossing it on the bed. The scent of toast and eggs filled the air as she entered the kitchen downstairs, but instead of Hope at the stove it was her _mother._

Hope sat at the island, both hands wrapped around a mug of coffee. Her gaze turned to Penelope when’s he slid into the seat next to her, offering a shrug to Penelope’s confused expression.

“Penelope, you’re awake.” She turned to see her mother looking at her. Either she was crazy or there was the faintest smile on her face. Was she being punk’d?

“I should get going. I have a bunch of schoolwork I need to get to. It was nice seeing you again, Mrs. Park.”

“You as well. You’re welcome anytime, Hope. Thank you for taking care of Penelope last night.”

The two girls exchanged looks but Hope just clapped Penelope on the shoulder and let herself out.

“How are you feeling?”

Green eyes met green and Penelope shrugged as she went to make herself a cup of coffee. “I have a headache, but I’ll live.” A hesitation. “How was the rest of the gala?” She watched her mother plate the food quietly from over the rim of her coffee cup. Sabine’s eyes stay trained on the plates in front of her, carefully scooping out an even amount for the both of them before glancing up. When was the last time her mother _cooked_ for her? Why was she doing this? Penelope was ready to be berated for embarrassing both her and her mother at the gala by being a drunk mess. To be fair, most people left her alone after the first hour and a half. The rest was just her trying not to stumble around in her heels and making friends with the bartender.

“Things went well. I told everyone that you weren’t feeling good.” Penelope nodded, draining her cup and turning to refill it. “What happened to Josie?” Her movements faltered. It felt weird to hear her mother say Josie’s name, like it wasn’t right. She was surprised that she even said her name at all.

“Something came up.” Next topic, please. Her mother pushed the plate of food over to her which she happily accepted. They ate their food in comfortable silence, Penelope stealing glances at her mother so often. Her eyes were glued to her phone as usual, except this time she looked.. happy? She definitely knew it wasn’t work related at least, work gave her the permanent scowl.

Penelope opened her mouth to ask her mother what had her looking like the Mona Lisa when the doorbell rang. “Hope probably forgot something.” She murmured to her mother who paid no attention to her departure.

“You know my mother won’t fault you for using your key just because she’s ho—“

“Hi, Penelope.” She froze in her spot. Eyes widening in surprise as she took in Josie’s figure in front of her. She was dressed in a denim romper dress and booties that only accentuated their height difference. Penelope suddenly felt very subpar in her jeans and shirt. Josie was biting the inside of her cheeks and wringing her hands, telltale sign that she was nervous beyond belief but it just made her look ridiculously cute.

“Can we talk?”

Oh. Right. She cleared her throat and stepped outside to join her on the porch, remembering that now wasn’t the time to be ogling the girl. She crossed her arms over her chest and put on her best unbothered expression before meeting Josie’s eyes. “Yes?”

“I’m sorry.”

Penelope shrugged, dropping her gaze to the floor. “Does your phone only work for Rafael or something?” She met her gaze when she spoke and to her credit, she didn’t show any emotion when Josie flinched.

“There’s an explanation for that, I promise. I—”

“Really? ‘Cause if you double booked you could’ve just told me instead of making me look stupid for waiting on you for three hours. Do you know how _ridiculous_ that felt?” Penelope regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth, she didn’t show it. She was bitter.

Josie’s brows knitted together and she laughed incredulously. “Well. You definitely know how to pass the time. You and Hope seemed perfectly fine last night.”

Now it was Penelope’s turn to be confused. “What are you talking about?”

“I saw you two, last night. On your couch. You move fast.” The last words came out quieter than the rest, disbelieving. Penelope just stared hard at Josie as she tried to piece together what about last night might’ve looked suspicious. She had taken off her dress, she remembered that. They were only hugging, nothing they hadn’t done before.

“Whatever you think you saw, you’re wrong. Hope and I aren’t like that.” Penelope scoffed.

“Are you sure?” Josie found her voice again. Penelope’s gaze flickered down to the girls hands which were clenching and unclenching. “I know that we never defined what’s between us was,” She gestured between the two of them. “But I at least thought we had enough respect for one another to not mess around with other people. Lizzie kept telling me that you never took relationships seriously and how you were with other people—”

“Lizzie?” A muscle in Penelope’s jaw twitched and she shook her head. "First off, you attacking me for what you _assume_ you saw when you were the one that blew me off for someone else is rich. Second, was me going to see you every time you worked late just to keep you company or waiting for you to finish up with practice so I could walk you to your car not taking things seriously? Or do you just think I’m a shit person like all your friends do.” She was shaking. Penelope had put in real effort to make sure Josie knew how she felt, but what if Josie thought otherwise the whole time? What if, every time she had mustered up the courage to open up to Josie, the girl could care less?

They stared at each other for a second, letting the silence settle. The hurt in Josie’s eyes were evident and the step she took towards Penelope was hesitant. To her credit, Penelope didn’t move even though every inch of her wanted to step back. “You know that I don’t. I think you’re one of the best people I’ve ever met,” She took a breath and reached for Penelope’s hands, pulling them out of the crossed position they were previously in. “But I know that you’re not used to this, relationships. I also know that you’re stubborn as hell and quick to jump to conclusions.”

“..Pot, kettle.” Penelope mumbled under her breath. Josie gave her a pointed look and Penelope sighed. Josie continued.

  
“You scare the hell out of me, Penelope. That’s part of why I didn’t show up last night.” Penelope stayed quiet but let their eyes meet.

“I was nervous. I had done some research the night before and looked around for information about the gala and your mother. Then I let it get into my head that maybe, I wasn’t good enough to be there. I don’t come from a family like yours, Penelope. And all I could think was, ‘Am I good enough? What would they say?’ But I still wanted to be because despite the insecurities, I wanted to be there with you.”

“I went on a run to clear my head.. and also to get a last minute workout in so that I would look even better in my dress,” Josie nudged Penelope lightly and she couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at her lips. “That’s when I ran into Raf. He noticed that I was tense and I just told him that I was nervous about the gala. He offered to take me for dessert to cheer me up. What he failed to mention was that the dessert place was twenty minutes away and we ended up getting a flat tire on the drive back. Somewhere along the way I lost my phone and by the time we got back the gala had started but I wasn’t ready.”

“And Raf wouldn’t let you use his phone to let me know?” Penelope asked.

Josie’s shoulders slumped and she shook her head. “I had a feeling that you wouldn’t have been happy to know that my being with Raf was the reason I was late.”

“Of course not. The dude’s willing to practically _kidnap_ you just to be able to spend some time together. He needs to take a hint.” She dropped her gaze to the floor again, irritated.

“But I did go.”

Rewind.

Green eyes met Josie’s brown ones, confused. “What?”

Josie nodded. “When I showed up, after ten minutes of talking myself up to leave the car, there was a guy named Ethan that said you had went home. Then I saw your mom, she looks just like you. We talked.”

Penelope’s jaw dropped to the floor. While she was off laying in a puddle of her emotions whiskey, Josie was at the gala talking to her _mother._ They had met and she wasn’t even there to be a buffer! Oh God. What did they talk about?

Wait. No.

Josie met Penelope’s mother last night and came back practically first thing in the morning. Was Josie about to end things before there was really anything started? Is it even possible to be dumped without being in a relationship?

A soft hand moved up to direct Penelope’s gaze back to hers, fingertips feather light as they traced the slight bump on her nose. Suddenly her nose didn’t bother her anymore. “She interrogated me for a while, it was scary.” Josie laughed. “But after that, I went straight to your house and I think I just have the _worst_ timing because I walked up right when you and Hope were sitting together. I thought that… No, it doesn’t matter what I think anymore. I was hurt.”

“Sounds like we’ve both got issues.” Josie chuckled at that. Penelope squeezed her hands. There was a weight lifted off her shoulders at Josie’s confession, but something still didn’t sit right with her. Maybe Josie was more like Lizzie than she thought. Maybe Penelope was more petty than she thought. _(Or maybe she's just been looking for a reason to get out of this before she let herself get in too_ _deep_ ) She glanced up at her, brown eyes bore back into hers, expression soft and open. It should make her feel giddy with butterflies, it always did. Yet, why did she feel uncomfortable now? She always thought that Josie didn’t care how… active, Penelope was in the past. Maybe she was just fooling herself. They hadn’t ever really talked about it so it only made sense.

It still hurt that despite how much they’ve built their relationship up to where it had been, all it took was a few of Lizzie’s words to change Josie’s mind. How was she to know that this wouldn't be the last time Lizzie could influence Josie's opinion of her? For all she knew, Josie would be willing to drop Penelope at the snap of Lizzie's fingers. She slipped her hands out of Josie’s and pocketed them instead.

“Penelope?”

Penelope _knew_ that she was overreacting last night. She wasn't stupid, she kept reminding herself of that. The normal Penelope would’ve just shrugged things off and went about her night. But now, it hurt more knowing that Josie had chosen to be with Raf to cheer her up. That should’ve been her. At the end of the day, she needed to protect herself. She's always put herself because frankly, Penelope didn't know if she could get through another heartbreak. And Josie would be the end of her. She could feel it. 

“Some of us more than others,” Penelope finally spoke. She looked up at Josie again, shrugging. “I think I need some space.”

“Oh..”

“It’s not.. Nothing bad." _Bit of a lie._ "I just need to get my head straight and it sounds like you do too. Honestly, Jojo. You’re oblivious to other people’s advances sometimes that it’s laughable. I don’t know how I’m allowed to feel when you kiss me stupid in front of your friends and make me think that we’re.. something, but then you turn around and accept other people’s attempts to flirt with you.” She bit her lip, unsure if she should keep going. Josie just looked at her, shocked.

“And Lizzie’s another thing,” A bitter laugh left her lips. “I don’t know what her deal is. She goes out of her way to fuck with me _and_ our relationship, and I’m done with it. I’m not going to let her walk over me just because of the feelings I have for you. I know how much she means to you and honestly, I probably would’ve put up with it for as long as I had to but. I _shouldn’t_ have to. Don’t I mean something to you too?” She clenched her jaw. “At least enough for you to do more than a half assed reprimand.”

Penelope took a step back from Josie. She was surprised, she managed to keep her expression relatively neutral, only letting a few cracks come through. But she kept her ground.

“If you’re asking me to choose between you and Lizzie, I’m not going to do that. I can’t and you should know.”

“I’m not. I’m just asking that you show me that you want me. And that means not letting Lizzie treat me like the dirt beneath her shoes, for starters. I like you a lot, Josie, but not enough to forget my self worth.” She hesitated for a moment, trying to muster up the courage to let a little bit of truth out. "And I'm not going to let myself indulge in a relationship that will only end in heartbreak. I refuse to." 

The silence that settled over them was suffocating. Josie hadn’t spoken, her gaze just fell to the ground and Penelope could practically see the thoughts flying in her head.

When it was clear that Josie wasn’t going to speak up, she leaned up to press a lingering kiss to the brunette’s cheek and returned to her house.

“Ball’s in your court.”

_++_

“Again.”

They had been going at it for going on two hours now. Sweat slid down the side of Penelope’s face as she stared back at her friend. Almost two hours straight of rolling and she had only thrown up once, it was a record. She adjusted the belt that had come loose back around her waist carefully, securing the Gi tight around her body. Her left arm was aching beyond belief, she was sure Lexa had come close to nearly snapping it in half more than once today.

“What’s gotten your panties in a twist, Woods?” The taller girl was lying flat on her back, chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. She had called Penelope near the crack of dawn to come down to the gym. Lincoln should’ve never given her the keys. It was obvious that the both of them were running on just a few hours of sleep put together but nonetheless, Lexa still threw her around like she weighed nothing. After getting armlocked for the third consecutive time, Penelope started fighting back. She had her fair share of anger to release.

“Got into a fight last night with Clarke. It was pretty bad. One of her coworkers just openly stares at her chest and flirts with her and Clarke being Clarke, doesn’t realize that other people have eyes too. She swears it’s because she only has eyes for me but that means nothing to other people. Gah, it’s so frustrating.” Lexa shot up into a sitting position and chugged some water. “She told me that I needed to cool off about it or she’s withholding sex for a week.”

Penelope choked on her water at that, a hearty laugh spilling from her lips in the process. Lexa just looked at her confused. “You two? Not going at it? Please. You’ll both be on your knees begging for forgiveness by tomorrow. You guys always get your shit sorted.”

Lexa shrugged. She looked defeated despite having won most of the rolls with Penelope for the past two hours. Penelope shuffled over to sit next to her friend, twirling the water bottle in her hand in the process. “You guys will be fine. Why would Clarke want to look elsewhere when she’s got this hot piece of ass waiting for her at home,” They bumped shoulders and Penelope laughed again at the embarrassed look painted on Lexa’s face. “Besides, you’re the one that’s supposed to have a stable relationship in our friendship. Hope and I are the lost causes, however she does seem to be having a good time with mascot boy.”

Her friend agreed with a head nod. “Talk to Josie lately?”

An exasperated sigh left her lips. It’d been a week since their talk out on Penelope’s porch. A week of stolen glances between the two of them. A week of Penelope driving by the diner on days she knew Josie usually worked and watching Josie through the bottom of the bleachers while she was at cheer practice. They had texted only a handful of times, mostly Penelope pretending that she needed homework notes just so she would have a reason to talk to her. The only plus side of things was that she noticed Lizzie had lightened up on the eye rolls and unwarranted opinions since. There was even a time where Penelope accidentally bumped shoulders with her in the hallway and the other girl _apologized._ What the hell?

“Not too much. She probably needs some space. I said some mean stuff to her last time.”

Lexa immediately shook her head, placing one hand on her shoulder and giving it a squeeze. “No, Pen. Don’t do that, it’s not your fault. If Josie can’t handle it then she’s not the one for you. You’ve never been one to sugarcoat your words for people, don’t start now. There had to have been some truth to what you said otherwise you wouldn’t have said it.” Damn. Penelope knew she was in trouble when Lexa started to get wise on her. She slapped her friends hand off her shoulder and stood up. Enough of moping. They had roughly an hour and a half before they had to get to school and Penelope still had some steam to blow off.

“Get up so I can kick your ass again, Woods.”

“Oh yeah? How’s your arm again?”

“Fuck off.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to Bitter by Fletcher a lot when writing this chapter so if Penelope's emotions seem to be jumbled, that may be why haha. ((also stream the song because it's a BOP)) Let me know your thoughts! I hope I conveyed the thought process well, if not I'm happy to answer questions! Stay safe and stay sane, and don't forget it's pOSIE ENDGAME. But they're also both idiots so things will never be easy because they are also teenagers with 3 braincells max.
> 
> ((((I love writing drunk Penelope so she may make more appearances in the future))))
> 
> Wow this is a long note sorry but THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH for all the kind words from last chapter, ya'll made my heart big soft. Also we hit over 3k hits and 250 kudos, I'm blown away. luv u all


	12. I Took Your Love and Bent All the Rules

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Word Vomit Incoming. Picks up a few hours after the last chapter left off.

Somehow, it became possible for Penelope to detest going to school even more than usual, partly due to the fact that her arm was still killing her from the early morning session. She slammed the locker door to a close as she felt an all too familiar pair of eyes staring at her. On instinct, her gaze came up to meet Josie’s. She was down the hall at her locker standing next to some girls from the squad, a sad, longing look on her face. All Penelope wanted to do was go over there and wrap the girl up in her arms and kiss the pout away. But she couldn’t. Because the ball was still in Josie’s court and she had yet to make a move.

When Penelope had told Josie a few days ago to show her she wanted her, she didn’t really know what to expect. Sure, standing up to Lizzie was one of them. But realistically thinking now, what else did she even want Josie to do? Make a big sign and shout at the top of her lungs to everyone in school that she had feelings for her? Hold up a huge boombox playing some cheesy love song outside her bedroom window? Or even something as simple as looking into her eyes as she told her that she was all in.

None of those sounded promising (or logical). Nor did she want them. So there she stood, thirty feet away from Josie in the hallway just watching her and how she interacted with her friends. Really, Penelope just wanted Josie to make her feel worth it. To feel like someone’s priority. But she knew that Josie would never let herself be selfish enough to _not_ put her own desires on the back burner. Anyone but Josie came first and Penelope didn't fall into either category. She finally tore her eyes away and stalked off in the opposite direction once Josie’s eyes left her.

  
So they were stuck in a standstill. Back to stolen glances and lingering looks. She should’ve enjoyed the time with Josie before she blew everything up with her stupid _feelings._ Ugh. Life would be so much easier if there were some way to just turn the pesky thing off.

Yet, despite the fact that the two were barely talking, Penelope didn’t change her routine. She still found herself going to the field after school to watch Josie practice, this time just from the entrance of the gym where Josie couldn’t see her. (Or so she thought) She still went out of her way to drive past the diner at the times she hoped Josie still worked just to flip a U-turn once she saw her. There was one occasion when she drove by and saw Rafael sitting in a booth shooting heart eyes at Josie. She nearly collided with a car because she turned around so fast. (But if she had taken two more seconds to watch, she would’ve seen Josie shake her head at something he said and passed his table off to a coworker). That night she went home and let Rose coddle her on the couch while she helped Rio with a puzzle.

Other than that, she had been spending more of her free time at the gym either punching things or throwing stuff (sometimes people) around. It was another three days after the little hallway stare that something interesting happened. Penelope was sitting at a table in the corner of the library after school working on a science paper when she saw someone slide into the seat across from her. A snarky remark was on the tip of her tongue, ready to sarcastically tell off the stranger at her table as she glanced up only to be shocked speechless when she saw exactly who it was.

Lizzie sat right across from her, hands clasped on top of a textbook and her lips pressed into a line. “Penelope.”

The shorter girl glanced around the library, confused as to why the blonde was sitting _here_ of all places. “Are you lost?” To her surprise, Lizzie let out a light chuckle, shaking her head. “I came to speak to you.”

Her brows shot to her hairline and she slowly put her pencil on the table. “About?”

“Josie.”

Oh. _Interesting._

“Did she send you here or something?” When Penelope had said the ball was in her court, she didn’t expect for the brunette to send someone else to make a move.

“No. Josie doesn’t know that I’m here to talk to you. But she told me about the talk you two had.”

_Very interesting._

Penelope stayed silent, opting to just nod along because if Lizzie was actually making a personal visit, it had to be good.

“Do you know why I don’t like you?”

At this, she let out an exasperated sigh. “Considering the fact that I’ve done close to _nothing_ to you, I’m going to have to say no. Unless _you_ being mean to _me_ somehow pisses you off.” She watched as a vein twitched on Lizzie’s temple and that was enough to tell Penelope that she hated being here more than she did. Settling back into the chair, she crossed her arms over her chest and shrugged. “Well?”

“I can’t control you.” Penelope looked at her in disbelief, her brows knitting together so tightly that she was scared they’d get stuck. “Pardon?”

“As you can see, I’m the head cheerleader and head bitch in charge here. I’m Queen Bee and people fear me, as they should." Lizzie tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and Penelope couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Particularly the boys on the sports team. I can make or break them if they mess things up. And I know that Josie puts me before herself, just because I'm a blonde doesn’t mean I'm as stupid as the stereotypes say I am.” _Well.._

“I love Josie more than anything in this world. I’ve seen her get her heart broken before and while she put on a good facade, I knew she was hurting because I was there to pick up the pieces at night. Not just in terms of love, but with our parents. We know well enough that vying for parental approval is hard when they’re not around. I figured that while I couldn’t protect her from the inevitable disappointment from our parents, I could do something about this. And trust me, I know that she couldn’t give a care in the world about Finn or Rafael, but they were safe choices. If things ended on her terms, it wouldn’t hurt her as much. And if they hurt _her,_ then I would hurt _them._ In more ways than one.”

Penelope glanced down at her watch, surprised. This was probably the longest interaction they’ve shared that didn’t involve heavy sarcasm and snarky remarks. “She’s a big girl. She can handle herself.”

“She can, but she shouldn’t have to. Seeing how Josie was with you reminded me of when she got her heart broken the first time and I’ve seen you and the way you chose to handle your past relationships,” Lizzie said pointedly. Penelope nodded. “That’s fair.”

“So can you really blame me for not wanting to see my sister get used by someone who hasn’t had a relationship last longer than twelve hours?”

“No.. But you let her have a relationship with someone that cheated on their last girlfriend, whom they dated for much longer than twelve hours.”

Lizzie clenched her jaw at this, shaking her head. “Poor judgement on my part. Finn has a boyish charm to him that to an untrained eye, would let him breeze through life. But I know better. I threatened to hit him with my car if he pulled anything for starters, the other threats I can't say aloud. And let's be honest Penelope, it's not like I could do that to you.” She mumbled the last part so quietly that Penelope almost didn’t hear it.

“I exploited her devotion to me by expressing my distaste for you, hoping it would be enough to make her back off. But much to my chagrin, there’s something about you that made her go against me anyways. It was a selfish move on my part and for that, I’m sorry.” If she had been drinking something, Penelope would’ve done a spit take. Instead, she just sat there, stunned to continued silence. Oh man, she wished she had recorded that.

“I told Rafael about Josie’s running route. It’s my doing that they were together the day of your gala but I didn’t plan the flat tire, though that would’ve been a great idea.” Lizzie took a breath before looking Penelope in the eyes. “I love my sister more than everyone thinks. I would die for her. And you’re a wild card that I worried about. But I know now that it’s not my place to play Cupid for Josie, no matter how much I want to protect her.”

Lizzie was the first to break eye contact in favor of staring at the table instead. There was a multitude of emotions brewing inside of Penelope. She was angry first, because she knew that Lizzie had played a part on that day somehow but she wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. Then she was shocked. Shocked that Lizzie had gone to so many lengths just to ensure that Josie was happy. Next came sadness, because Lizzie had gone to _so many_ lengths to ensure Josie’s happiness. Because while she was surrounded with great friends like Hope and Lexa, Penelope still wished someone had the type of unconditional love for her that Lizzie had for Josie.

But the blonde had a point in her long speech. Penelope never had a real relationship, this was all new to her. She was only ever good at getting what she needed from someone and moving on from it. Breaking Josie’s heart compared to being in a loving relationship was much more likely in their future. And Josie deserved the latter, not someone that doesn’t know how to love because she's emotional stunted.

“You’re right. It’s not your place to play Cupid. And chalk it up to me being a better person than you,” Penelope said with a pointed look. The blonde rolled her eyes. “But I understand why you did what you did. I don’t agree with it because frankly, it was bullshit. I just wish I had someone that cared about me that much like that.”

Something in Lizzie’s eyes softened and frankly, it was a weird sight to behold. But they were sharing a moment so Penelope bit back the sarcastic remark that formed purely due to muscle memory.

She never thought she would see the day where she would appreciate Lizzie coming to talk to her. Getting insight from the blonde was certainly eye opening, in more ways than one. Probably more in the opposite direction than she wanted, because now, she didn’t know what to do. She was in her head about the whole relationship thing now. What if after all of this, she wanted to take things slow with Josieonly for things to not work out in the end? Penelope didn’t want to waste Josie’s time with something that she wasn’t even sure she could give.

Penelope began silently packing up her stuff, the need to just get on her bike and go anywhere but here was gnawing at her. “Where are you going?” Lizzie asked. Penelope took in a deep breath as she stood up and slung her backpack over her shoulder. 

“Home, probably. You can tell Josie that I’m not mad at her anymore and that I’m sorry.” She took a step around Lizzie in the direction of the exit but stopped when the blonde caught her arm before she could take another step.

“Wait—“

“We’re good too. Water under the bridge. Thank you for coming to talk to me.” With a shrug, Lizzie’s hand fell back to her side and Penelope left the library. There was a unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach that she just couldn’t put her finger on. Anxiousness? She wasn’t lying when she said that she wasn’t mad at Josie anymore, if anything, she was mad at herself now. Mad that no matter how much she wanted to let herself love and be loved, (wait, _love??_ ) she just couldn’t.

She loved her dad and he was taken away from her. What if this was just some cruel form of punishment? Karma for being a bad daughter? Forever cursed with the fate of having anyone she loved leave her eventually, holy _shit_ was that pessimistic and maybe even a little dramatic? But in that moment, it all seemed plausible. Hope and Lexa were to leave eventually too, she was surprised they hadn’t with the shit they’ve put up with over the years. After all, people always said that you don’t hold onto friendships you had in high school. _But Hope and Lexa are family._ Lexa and Clarke will get married and move to a city to start a family and be crazy happy. Hope will probably marry the mascot at the rate they’re going and go back to New Orleans to be with her family. Hell, even Rose won’t live forever!

_No. Stop doing this. Stop making shit up to justify your shitty inability to handle things._

Maybe there was a reason why she didn’t have someone like Lizzie in her life, (sans bitchiness, of course). She didn’t deserve it. She dug her nails into the palm of her hand, urging the negative thoughts and situations so farfetched from her head. The rational part of her brain kept telling her that this was just her head making things up. _But these are realistic, they could and can happen._ Her breathing became labored as she approached her bike and she pulled out her phone. Oddly enough, she wanted to talk to her mom. Things had gotten better since her last visit and the gala enough to the point where Penelope even felt a little comfortable in confiding in her.

Pulling out her phone, she quickly dialed her mother’s cell.

“ _Hello?_ ” A man’s voice came through on the other end. Penelope looked at her phone to double check, she had dialed her mother’s number correctly.

“Sorry. Is Sabine there?” She asked, her voice firm and only slightly accusatory.

“ _Oh, yes. She just stepped out for a moment. I’m speaking to Penelope, correct?_ ” Her body tensed, why did this guy say her name as if he practiced it in the mirror over and over again?

“ _Your mother has told me a lot about you. I’m Chris, I can’t wait to meet you._ ” She hung up the phone immediately, green eyes staring at her mother’s contact card on her phone. Realization hit her like a truck but she didn’t have the mental capacity to let that sink in today. No one else was allowed to answer her mother’s phone calls, that was a rule that was drilled into anybody that knew Sabine Park.

What the _fuck._

_++_

That was how Penelope found herself sitting at a steakhouse in New York two days later. Her mom returned her call twenty minutes after she hung up on ' _Chris'_ to tell her that she didn’t plan for Penelope to meet him that way. So instead, she offered to fly her out to New York for two days. She would have to miss school but “ _I’m sure you wouldn’t mind a trip to clear your head. It’ll do you good.”_ Her mother said.

Penelope was only halfway through her first whiskey sour when her mother walked up to the table. On her arm was who she presumed to be Chris; he was tall, blonde haired and blue eyed and quite literally the exact _opposite_ of everything her dad was. As she stood to greet her mother with a hug, he gave her a soft smile and didn’t seem too offended when Penelope opted for a handshake over a hug. She had anticipated to feel differently when she found out that her mother had a boyfriend. She expected to be mad at the fact that her mother moved on to someone new, hurt at the fact that her mother probably hid the relationship from her for who knows how long, and angry for well, obvious reasons.

Instead, she was confused.

“I’ve heard a lot about you, Penelope.” Chris started as he sat down across from her.

“Can’t say the same.” She answered indifferently. Her mother gave her a look that just screamed _Be nice._

“What is it that you do, Christopher?”

“Actually, my name is Christian. But I’m a stock broker here in New York.”

“I like Christopher better.” She polished off the rest of her drink and signaled to the waiter from across the room for another.

“We will not have a repeat of the gala tonight, Penelope. Do you understand?” Her mother finally spoke up. The look in her eye told Penelope that she wasn’t kidding, but after a somewhat stressful week back at home, why not push some buttons? Green eyes flickered over to Chris who, despite having a decent poker face, was obviously uncomfortable from his body language. His hands were fidgeting with the napkin on the table, eyes constantly going around the room and purposefully avoiding Penelope’s, not to mention the awkward laugh he forced out at her mother’s comment.

She was slowly starting to feel the alcohol take over her senses, her mood lightening considerably and limbs relaxing. This was going to be a fun night. “It’s alright, I’ve had my fair share of drunken nights where I had to stumble home after a party, and those were at the good ones too! I can only imagine what fun galas must be for a teenager such as yourself.” Chris said with a smile so wide that it _reeked_ of overcompensation.

“So what you’re saying is you’re an alcoholic? Can’t control your liquor?” Penelope smirked at him, it only widened when her mother huffed out a breath.

“Penelope!” She held up her hands in surrender, only dropping them when the waiter came back with her refill.

“Only joking, mother. Don’t act like you’ve never been on the receiving end of my sarcasm.” She watched quietly when her mom put her hand over Chris’s who visibly relaxed. Seeing how flustered a grown man could get solely from her words only made Penelope want to tease the poor guy more. But she would lighten up, _for now._

Small talk was a lot easier after she decided to stop putting Chris through the wringer. Pushing someone's buttons and purposefully making them feel uncomfortable was fun, and even though she hated to admit it, Chris seemed like a decent guy.

“Your mother tells me you ride a motorcycle. What do you ride?” That peaked her interest.

“A Kawasaki. Do you ride as well?”

Chris chuckled and for the first time since he sat down, he seemed comfortable. “In my younger days. I decided to sell my bike a few years ago now. It’s hard to get respect in my field when you show up to work on a motorcycle.” Penelope nodded in agreement. Even just picturing the guy on a bike now was weird, he seemed more like a Buick kinda guy. “Is that how you go your scar?” He pointed to his eyebrow.

“Oh,” A hand shot up instinctively to lightly graze the indentation on her face, hair no longer grew where the scar sat. “No. That’s from my mother hitting me.”

That ruined the mood. Her mother and Chris both paled instantly, a stark contrast to the innocent smile Penelope wore on her face. Talking about the scar wasn’t a big deal to her anymore, it wasn’t like the more she brooded over it, the more likely it would go away. If anything, it made her look more intimidating thus making less people bother her, so. Win-win?

“P—“ Her mother stuttered out, her green eyes full of worry as they darted around the room.

“What’s good here? I’ve never been to this particular restaurant but I’ve heard loads of good things about it.” Penelope said quickly to change the topic and began flipping through the menu. She glanced up at her mother and Chris, flashing a smile and gesturing to their own menus. “Well? The waiter will be back soon and I’m not going to wait for you guys to order. I'm _famished_.”

The two of them looked like they’d been hit with whiplash, brows knitted together and a lost look on their face. Slowly, they picked up the menus and began scanning through it, still unsure of the exchange that just took place in the past five minutes. Penelope on the other hand couldn’t get the stupid smile off her face. Her mother was right, this trip did help her mood.

Needless to say, the rest of the dinner was almost just as uncomfortable as the first hour. She only stopped with the smart remarks after three more glares from her mother. Not to mention it was getting a tad boring seeing Chris squirm in his seat too. Instead she did her best to be civil, talking again about bikes with Chris as well as bringing up Hope and Lexa. She intentionally didn’t bother bringing up Josie because she _still_ didn’t know where they stood. Things had went surprisingly well after that, even sharing a few laughs.

Until Chris opened his mouth to make a comment after Penelope mentioned not having much luck in long lasting relationships.

“Ah, I’m sorry to hear how things went with Josie. She seemed like a great girl.” Chris said, fully intending to offer his sympathy. Instead, Penelope stiffened. She stared at him with hard eyes and crossed her arms over her chest instinctively. From the corner of her eye she could see her mother tense up too.

“How do you know about Josie? I didn’t mention her once.” Chris, upon realizing his mistake reverted back to his flustered and uncomfortable movements, fidgeting with the napkin.

“Well… Your mother mentioned the strained relationship you two shared in passing,” He said slowly, as if any more would set Penelope off at any second. “I encouraged her to take more of an interest in your life. Check in with the school on your grades, updates from Rose, things like that.” Chris only continued to ramble on but Penelope wasn’t listening anymore.

Her stomach dropped at the revelation, a deep ache settling at the pit of her gut. Green eyes slowly raked over Chris’s features, unaware of the bomb he had just dropped on Penelope while her mother kept her gaze fixed on something behind her. Gradually, the sounds of everything else just blended into the background. How foolish. Of course. Just when Penelope thought things were _finally_ going in the right direction with her mother, she finds out all the effort wasn’t even on her own accord.

“That makes sense,” Penelope spoke loud enough to cut off Chris. “You know, I was shocked when I found out that you took a sudden interest in my life, mother. That you just out of nowhere cared for my wellbeing for reasons other than your own. I don’t know how you keep surprising me but hey, here we are right?” She reached for Chris’ wine glass, finishing off what remained of it in one gulp before speaking again. “I should’ve known that you only did so to prove something to your boy toy, that you _do_ give a shit about your only kid.”

“Penelope Park! You know that is not true. Do not make me out to be some heartless monster that abandoned you. You’re my daughter and I love you more than you will ever know. Everything I do is to make sure that you have a future! That you have the money in your pockets that you don't seem to have an issue spending!” Angry green eyes stared her down, if Penelope wasn’t overwhelmed with emotions she might’ve acknowledged her mother declaring her love.

“You have a shit way of showing it, Sabine.” Penelope spat. “You stopped caring after dad died, not like you cared much when he was still around to begin with. And now once this walking piece of meat coerces you into becoming mother of the year, you think you can just make things all better again? Has it ever occurred to you that that money means nothing to me? That I would rather see you everyday than once every few weeks? Maybe I spend that money in hopes that you'll care enough to call and ask why!--”

Chris spoke up, his voice low and calm but it only pissed Penelope off more. “--Penelope, please. Your mother truly wants to mend things between you two again, I only lit the match for the fuse but the rest was her. Just--” 

“--Shut up, you human Ken Doll. You don’t get it nor did I ask for your input. If she claims to be a mother that loves and cares for her daughter that she _supposedly_ is, your 'match lighting' shouldn’t have been needed.” Penelope turned her eyes onto her mother now, the anger slowly dissipating from her veins only to be replaced with a vulnerability she swore she would never show to her mother ever again.

“I shouldn’t have to convince you to love me. To care about me. You’re my mother and, _geez,_ they call it maternal instinct for a reason! It should be fucking _programmed_ into your biology to _want_ to give a fuck. I’m convinced now that I get my emotional handicap from you. Shame that you can’t find a new daughter easily like you did a lover, huh?” She stood up then, grabbing her coat aggressively as she made her way out of the restaurant.

Her eyes immediately fell on the family car right at the entrance of the restaurant. Ethan, who was sitting in the parked car on the curb nursing a small box of fries jumped when Penelope opened the door and slammed it.

“Penelope? Everything alright?”

She just shook her head as slid into the backseat, a pained smile lining her lips.

“Just take me to my hotel so I can get my things and then the airport, please Ethan. I’ve had enough of the city.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, the return of sarcastic Penelope AND some word vomit, we love to see it. And I'll confess, my inspiration for Penelope's scar is because I had been watching Lucifer when I first got the idea to write this story and may or may not have fell in love with Maze (don't attack me) As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter both good and bad. Always looking to get better. :)
> 
> Penelope needs a hug.


	13. Won't You Decide?

“ _Please_ , Rose. I promise I’ll go back to school on Monday. Lexa already said she'll bring me my work for the rest of the week.” 

It had been one day since Penelope stormed out of the restaurant in New York. Twenty hours since she last slept, ten hours since she’s been home and a whole hour of Rose pestering her to get out of bed. She flopped over onto her back to look up at the older woman, tired brown eyes stared back at her. The ends crinkled anytime she'd smile like she was doing now, only further exaggerated as the years went by from age and stress. Nevertheless, they still contained more warmth and love than Penelope had ever seen in her life. 

“I’m sorry, honey. I know how much you wish things were different,” Rose shifted onto the bed until she sat up against the headboard, Penelope immediately moving to curl into the older woman’s side with her head tucked safely on Rose’s lap. “Time heals all wounds. It may not seem like it now, but things will get better.” 

“How?” Penelope’s voice came out as a quiet whisper. She could feel the tears starting to blur her vision as she mustered up the courage to continue speaking. “Why is it that I have to convince everyone to love me? Why can’t they just do it on their own accord? My own mother could care less and not to mention Josie—“ She stopped herself then, not wanting to think about the multitude of messages she has yet to respond to from Josie. Quickly blinking away the tears, she snuggled further into Rose’s side and sighed.

“I was so much better off before all of this, just doing my own thing. I caught feelings for a  _ damn  _ girl  _ once!  _ —“

“Penelope! Don’t you dare talk about that sweet girl like that,” Rose snapped at her so fast that the green eyed girl couldn’t help but flinch on reflex. “You are a teenager, naturally everything feels like it’s the end of the world for you. You break a nail, you think you are going to die. You gain weight, you never want to eat again. But guess what? You’ll live. When things are as bumpy as they are with you and your mother, it takes  _ time.  _ Nothing gets fixed overnight.” Rose trailed a finger along Penelope’s eyebrow scar while the other hand rubbed comforting circles in between her shoulder blades.

“Josie is still a girl, she’s young and allowed to make mistakes too. Don’t let the relationship with your mother bleed into your other ones, sweetheart. Not everyone is like her.” 

Penelope stayed quiet after that. Rose was right. She could always count on Rose to call her out on her shit, even if it hurt. She was glad that she listened to Rose when the older woman told her to give up her phone. Otherwise she would have responded to Josie saying that she changed her mind. That she didn’t want to bother anymore because if Josie didn’t want her, then she could accept that. Penelope wasn’t going to beg to be in her life because if Josie truly wanted to, she would say so.

Thank goodness her stubbornness was overpowered by the feeling of utter defeat. 

She rolled away from Rose and stared up at the ceiling. “It’s hard.” Was all she said in response. Rose watched her quietly, the back of her hand brushing away the remaining wetness on her cheeks. “Tell you what. I’ll make you some of my homemade banana bread, I know you won’t say no to that. But only if you get out of this bed.” 

“But I’m getting chubby. Lexa’s gonna call me the Michelin Man again.” The green eyed girl pouted, her hands slapping the swell of her stomach. Rose just laughed, reaching down to pat the area lovingly. 

“Only more to love, honey.” 

++

Rose let Penelope stay in bed for a solid fifteen more minutes before she threatened to dump ice water on her. Instead, Penelope plopped herself on the couch downstairs so she could listen to the sounds of Rose shuffling around the kitchen. She would've fallen asleep to the soothing sounds if Josie's messages didn't sit at the back of her mind like a heavy weight. Her phone laid unlocked in her lap, the message thread with Josie staring back at her.

_ Josie: Lizzie told me she talked to you. Can we talk?  _

_ Josie: Hey, you weren’t at school today. Hope everything is okay.  _

_ Josie: I gave Lexa the assignments you missed, make sure she gives them to you :)  _

_ Josie: I’m really worried, I know things are weird right now but I just want to know you’re okay  _

_ Josie: If I don’t hear from you by tomorrow night, I’m storming into your house.  _

With a heavy sigh, she started typing up a reply

_ Penelope: I’m fine. I was in New York with my mother. Be back to school next week. Thank you for the assignments.  _

Was that too cold?

_ Penelope: :)  _

Better.

Josie responded immediately.

_ Josie: Of course :)  _

The rest of the afternoon consisted of more laying around on the couch, Rose half-heartedly yelling at her to at least change out of her pajamas, and a lot of delicious banana bread consumption. Lexa and Hope both ended up coming over the second Penelope accidentally mentioned the aforementioned bread in their group chat. 

They got there so fast that Penelope barely had time to blink. 

It was over multiple hefty slices and two glasses of milk each that Penelope told them what had happened in New York. “The way I left was pretty dramatic, I’m not gonna lie. She hasn’t called or texted me since though. I don’t even know when I’ll see her next, much less what I'd say.” 

“That’s such bullshit, Pen. I’m sorry,” Hope said sympathetically. Penelope just shrugged, taking a sip from her glass. “Just makes me wonder how long she would’ve kept him a secret if I hadn’t found out.”

“Probably  _ after  _ she got married to the guy.” Lexa grumbled quietly with a mouthful of banana bread. The sad part was, she wasn’t wrong. Sabine would much rather go through the entirety of a relationship before divulging that information to her own daughter. But it wasn’t like Penelope didn’t have her own fair share of secrets too. She probably wouldn’t have mentioned Josie at all to her mother if it weren’t for the gala (and her already knowing). At least she knew where she got  _ that  _ trait from.

“How’s the situation with Josie?” Hope nudged her. Again, Penelope shrugged. What was there to say? They had texted on and off some small talk after Penelope sent her initial thanks. All lighthearted stuff, nothing with real substance. 

“Not too sure, honestly. We’ve talked here and there but things are still weird.” 

“She’s been asking around about you,” Lexa spoke up. The other two girls nearly snapped their necks with the speed at which they turned to look at their bestfriend. 

“Huh?--”

“What--”

Lexa unlocked her phone and held it up for them to see. It was a message thread with Josie filled with questions about Penelope’s whereabouts, then her likes and dislikes, how Lexa would apologize to someone like her. Penelope snatched the phone from her hand and held it closer to her face in disbelief. “She’s also been talking to some people at school, I don’t know why though.”

“No way. Why didn’t you tell me when she first messaged you?”

“I didn’t think it was a big deal. Maybe if you had responded to her first five messages then all this would be avoided.” Another message popped up at the top of the phone. Not from Josie.

_ Niron: I got off work early, when can I expect you? I’ve got a surprise ;)  _

Penelope’s eyes widened, a smirk tugging at one side of her lips. “Please tell me that  _ Niron  _ is Clarke or I will have a heart attack.” Lexa grabbed the phone back quickly, her face flushed a light pink. “What’s she got for our lil Lex, huh?”

“Ten bucks says it’s sex related. It always is.” Hope held her hand out to shake. 

“Pfft, I’m not taking a bet I know I’ll lose.” Penelope scoffed. “I’m glad that you guys got over your fight though. I don’t know what I would do in a world where you two weren’t together. Can I be the Godmother of your kids?” 

Hope slapped Penelope on the arm, offended. “I asked first!”

“They’re going to have more than one kid, I’m sure. We can each get one.” The two girls shook hands while Lexa just watched them, mouth agape in shock. 

“I can’t believe you guys just called dibs on our future kids. Right in front me.” 

The hearty laugh that left Penelope’s mouth was much needed. Her shoulders felt lighter and her mood heightened considerably. She didn’t have to worry about how she was going to deal with her mother once she saw her again or how to approach Josie when she saw her at school. Instead, she was now in a heated argument about who would get the last slice of banana bread via rock paper scissors. 

Shortly after they were overloaded with more of Rose’s cooking, Lexa had received a call from her cousin Anya who co-owned the gym they frequented. Penelope along with Hope decided that they had indulged a bit too much and would tag along as well so they could feel less gross. It would be a good stress reliever for Penelope anyways. Who would pass up the chance to throw some things (and people) around?

++

They had been at the gym for an hour and a half, and the half of that time Penelope couldn’t shake off a new girl that just enrolled. She introduced herself to her and Hope in the middle of Penelope’s deadlift set.  _ She couldn’t wait ten seconds when she wasn’t holding a fuck ton of weight in her hands?  _

“Hi! My name’s Dana, I just joined the gym today and the guy at the counter told me not to be afraid to introduce myself to everyone here.” Her blue eyes landed on Penelope after shaking Hope’s hand and her smile grew. “I’m glad I did.” 

“I’m Hope. And the guy’s right, everyone here is like family.” Hope smiled at her and shook her head before Dana turned her attention back on the darker haired girl. Penelope took her outstretched hand, plastering on her best fake smile before walking off the mat so Hope could take her turn. “Penelope. It’s nice to meet you.” 

“This is going to sound a bit weird, but I was wondering if you could give me a tour? There’s so much here that I’m a bit overwhelmed, to be honest. Not to mention it doesn't hurt to have a workout buddy.” Penelope quirked a brow, not bothering to hide her questioning expression. The girl was obviously flirting with her while all Penelope wanted was to clear her head. She didn’t have time nor the desire to entertain a girl that she wasn’t going to see by next month. 

“Spot's taken already," Penelope jabbed a thumb in Hope's direction. "I’m sure one of the workers here would be more than happy to give you a tour. I’m busy right now as you can see.” Penelope said as she took a sip from her water bottle. She could see from the corner of her eye the glare that Hope was giving her. Surely she wasn’t expecting Penelope to say  _ yes  _ to this girl, right? 

“Oh. Okay. Maybe another time.” Dana gave an awkward smile and rushed off to the line of treadmills in the other room. 

Hope looked at her through the mirror that lined the wall of squat racks, her face mostly neutral save for the fact that the corner of her lips were tugged up just very slightly. “She was flirting with you. And you said no.” 

Penelope nodded, giving her friend a sarcastic smile. “Someone’s finally learned how to be observant. We should celebrate.”

The red head held up a hand to stop Penelope, her smirk only growing. “The Penelope that I used to know would’ve taken her up on the little tour. Did you saying no have anything to do with a certain pouty lipped brunette?” 

“Shut up. I just didn’t feel like entertaining her right now, alright? The gym is where I clear my head and let off some steam, not pick up girls.” Hope didn’t even pretend to look like she believed her. Instead, she just turned her attention back to the rack of weights and did her set. But that wasn't the last of Dana. As they continued on with their workout, the blonde kept rounding back to somewhere within their area every time they’d move to another area, and Penelope was unlucky enough to make eye contact every fucking time. All other times she could feel the girl’s eyes fixed on her when she was running on the treadmill, when she was punching the bag with Lexa, and even during the short jiu-jitsu session to close out their workout. 

The next day at the gym was the same thing. Penelope arrived ahead of Clarke, who asked her the night before for some help on training since Lexa was busy with a family issue. She got to work on putting her things away in a locker and stretching out on the grass area when she saw an unfamiliar pair of shoes walk into her eye line. “Hi Penelope!” Oh god. It was Dana. 

Green eyes reluctantly made their way up from the pair of tennis shoes in front of her to their owner. She gave a hesitant smile and did her best to hide her terror as Dana plopped herself down right in front of her. “Right now seems like the best time to go to the gym. Not a lot of people are here, is this usually when you come?” 

Penelope shook her head, wanting nothing more than for Clarke to arrive and save her from this girl already. “I come at varying times. Just depends on my day, I guess.” The feeling of Dana’s eyes on her was uncomfortable. It didn’t give her the same warmth she got when Josie would look at her. The little flutter in her heart or the slight dip in her gut. Dana stayed for another  _ grueling fifteen minutes  _ talking Penelope’s ear off about her whole life story before Penelope decided to get up to put her shaker bottle away. 

She did her best to hide the horrified look on her face when she peaked over her shoulder to see Dana  _ following her to her locker.  _ Luckily, she managed to get a glimpse at Clarke making herway over. She shot her friend a pleading look that Dana thankfully missed. Dana was going off on another tangent about her pet dog when Clarke finally walked within earshot.

“Clarke! You’re here! Hi! Ready to workout?” Her smile was strained compared to Clarke’s confused one. Her blue eyes darted from Penelope’s to Dana, sizing her up as a knowing smile tugged at her lips. 

“Sorry for the wait, Penelope. Yes. I hope I didn’t keep you long.” The blonde purposely leaned in for a hug that lingered long enough for Dana to start glaring holes into the back of Clarke’s head. “Well, have a good workout.” Penelope said quickly and scampered off after Clarke to the free weights. 

“You’re a lifesaver.” She whispered into Clarke’s ear when they were far enough. Clarke burst out in a fit of giggles, nearly keeling over if Penelope hadn’t grabbed a hold of the blonde’s elbow. “Oh man, I haven’t seen someone flirt that hard in a while. Thank  _ you  _ for the entertainment. You should’ve seen the look on your face. It was pure terror!” 

“Hey! Don’t forget I’m the one training you today so you have to be nice to me.. And it kinda was, okay? She kept talking my ear off on the most randomest things. I’m never being polite ever again. Linc and Anya can yell at me all they want for ‘scaring off new members’.” It wasn’t the first time that the two cousins accused Penelope of doing it. How was it her fault that she just had a very intense resting bitch face? Maybe they just need to be more selective in their members, grow some skin thick enough to not be scared of a teenage girl.

Clarke looked at her like she was ready to make another snide comment but quickly bit it back when Penelope quirked her brow. Nonetheless, she still decided to show her what true high intensity training was like. They started back at the grass with stretching, Penelope ensuring Clarke that she would be grateful later on that they did so. The workout started light with a short cardio warmup, then to some lightweight exercises, and eventually venturing on to the hardstuff. By the time they reached their second set of a ten part workout Penelope outlined for them, Clarke was nearly passed out on the floor in a pool of her own sweat next to her. 

She did her best to hide any traces of a smirk but failed miserably when Clarke just rolled her eyes. “C’mon! Only two more sets and we can call it a day and get dinner. Rose is trying her hand at Korean food tonight.” Moving up into a sitting position, Clarke shook her head and chugged some water. “Very tempting, but I’m getting dinner with Lexa later. I’ll make sure she knows that you tried to kill me under the guise of a ‘high intensity workout’.” Clarke took another ten minutes to catch her breath before they started again, this time much slower for the sake of her friend. 

Like clockwork, by the end of the workout, Dana had found her way over to them  _ again. Geez, she doesn’t give up, does she?  _ “Hey! How’s your workout going?” 

Penelope turned to look at her friend for an out only to see Clarke had walked off to the locker room without her. She sighed inwardly and hesitantly smiled. “Just finished. Gonna head out now, actually. Bye, Dana--”

“--Wait!” A hand shot out to fasten itself around Penelope’s wrist who just looked at the girl incredulously. Dana quickly withdrew her hand, fidgeting with her fingers as her gaze dropped to the floor. “Sorry! I’m just. I’m a little nervous. I was just wondering if you’d like to get dinner? Or maybe some other time? Or even lunch! I’d just love to take you out--”

“--Penelope?”

Both heads swiveled in the direction of the new voice that had interrupted them and Penelope didn’t know if she should feel relieved or exhausted at this point. Josie stood a couple feet away from them, a purple yoga mat under one arm while the other had a small duffle bag slung over it. Penelope tried to let her eyes linger as little as possible over the brunette’s body, only to be disappointed in herself that she couldn’t even manage that. Embarrassing. “...Hey.” 

“I'm sorry, we were kind of in the middle of something.” Dana’s tone completely changed. The niceties and awkwardness gone and replaced with an undertone of irritation and a hint of bitchiness. Penelope’s eyes widened, they still held Josie’s gaze until the girl broke it to look at Dana.

“Seems a bit one-sided to me. Am I wrong?” 

Dana glanced over at Penelope then back to Josie, brow furrowed and lips turned downwards in a frown. “I’m sorry. Who even are you?” The shorter blonde said with such a condescending tone that it caused Penelope to immediately plant herself in between the two to defuse the situation. “Whoa whoa, no need to get snarky now, girls. Let’s just cool off and--”

Josie cut her off by linking her arm through Penelope’s and pulling her close enough for a soft kiss on her cheek. Her head reeled at the sensation of feeling Josie’s lips for the first time in what seemed like forever. Any coherent line of thought that ever graced Penelope’s brain was  _ gone.  _ She turned her head and watched Josie’s side profile as she gave Dana a sickly sweet smile. Their faces were close,  _ so close  _ , she could make out every lash on her eye and every freckle on her cheek. The light pink flush that dusted her cheeks deepened the second the words left her full lips. 

“Josie. Penelope’s girlfriend. And I think it’s safe to say that while your persistence is impressive, your flirting wasn’t going to get you anywhere. You might’ve realized that if you paid attention. C’mon babe, let’s go eat.”

++

The silence had yet to be broken. Throughout the walk out of the gym, the drive to the smoothie place down the street and until they were seated, with the exception of ordering. Now they were sitting next to each other on stools that lined the windows of the store, pedestrians crowded the sidewalk in front of them, all having conversation and seemingly enjoying their company a lot more than Penelope was. 

“Okay. What was that?” Words finally found her as she swiveled her chair to face Josie, both hands gripping the styrofoam cup like it was her lifeline. Green eyes darted down to Josie’s mouth when she began worrying into her bottom lip and Penelope didn’t stop herself when she reached up to tug it free with her thumb. “You’re going to make yourself bleed.”

“I’m sorry.” She finally managed out. “Holy  _ cow _ , I’m so sorry. I just couldn’t stop myself. One second I was walking through the doors of the gym, the next I saw that snippy little blonde throwing herself at you and my body just went on autopilot. I know it’s not my place to have done that but you just looked so uncomfortable and I couldn’t stand it anymore and--oh, my god I didn’t even take into consideration that you might’ve wanted to ask her out--”

“--Jojo,” Penelope grabbed the girl by her shoulders and shook her to a stop. Their eyes met-- Josie’s full of worry and embarrassment while Penelope’s were serious-- “It’s okay. You took me off guard but you were right. I was uncomfortable. I’ve been trying to shake that girl off as nice as possible and she just wasn’t getting the hint.” To her surprise, Josie smiled. A blush had settled on her cheeks that continued to deepen the longer they held their eye contact. “Oh.. alright. That’s good. I’m still sorry about the girlfriend comment though. It was the best thing I could think of at the moment. My brain kind of shut off.” 

She pulled her hands back, chuckling a little and took a sip of her drink. “You should probably get that checked.” The brunette gave her a hesitant smile. Penelope could practically see the gears working in her head as silence fell over them once more. It felt nice to see Josie again, joking with her like they were doing right now. For a split second she forgot about the bitterness she hated that she let make home in the pit of her gut. 

Yet despite the myriad of emotions Penelope felt the past few weeks, she didn’t want to leave. Just being near the girl was giving her a euphoric feeling she didn’t expect. This was different from the lingering looks they shared across the hall at school or when Penelope sneaked a glance at her. They were interacting like everything was okay. Josie was smiling at her and looking at her with that..  _ look  _ in her eyes again. Penelope had spent countless hours trying to find a way to describe that look. The same look she gave her that first day at the diner. While Penelope didn’t know how long this bubble of theirs would last, she was going to make the most of it. She took in Josie’s features once more, from the sharpness of her jawline to the dip of her cupid's bow and even up to the little baby hairs on her forehead. Knowing that she found Josie’s  _ baby hairs  _ cute was more than enough to realize that if Josie wanted to break her heart a million times over, she would let her.  _ It’d be a pleasure. _

“I have to confess,” The brunette said quietly. Her fingers were playing with her smoothie cup, twirling it around on the table and sliding it between her hands. “I did go to the gym to find you. You weren’t home and this was the first place I thought of.” She flung a hand in the direction of her car out in the lot. “I don’t even do yoga! I borrowed the mat from my mom so I could at least  _ look  _ like I went there to workout.”

Penelope couldn’t help the laugh that spilled from her lips at that, she wanted to hold it in but it was just so  _ silly.  _ “You know.. You could’ve just shown up like normal, right? The mat was a… tad overkill.” She said in between laughs. Josie just looked at her pitifully which made Penelope take a steadying breath and shake her head. “Why were you looking for me?”

“Well to start, you went completely MIA. I was worried but you know that,” She said pointedly to which Penelope shrugged. “And because I wanted to ask if you were free this weekend. I’ve been thinking about how I could make up for what happened and it took me a while to get everything in place and find the right thing to do, but, it’s finally ready. So. If you’ll still have me, which I truly hope you will, I’d love to take you on a special date.” 

The darker haired girl was floored. She wasn’t expecting this from Josie when she went off on her all those nights ago. A date. Was that what people did to apologize? There were usually flowers and chocolates involved too, right? The idea that she was in such unknown territory made her feel anxious. “Josie.. I..” She racked her brain for something to say. Anything. Words. A grunt. Please. Half of her was weary, hesitant to agree because was a date really all it took for her forgiveness? (Honestly it probably wouldn’t take much being that Penelope was  _ weak.)  _ But the other half  _ really  _ wanted to go on this date with Josie and the longer she looked into those deep chocolate brown eyes, the deeper she fell and the fuzzier her mind became and what was the question again?

Oh yeah.

“Yes. I would really like that.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! This chapter was a bit hard to get through because I've been feeling a bit demotivated and muddled overall. But I powered through it and I'm happy to say that I can't wait to keep writing! Distractions are good and if I can provide that for you all in the midst of everything then that's great to me. I think I will be capping this fic at around 20 chapters or so with maybe a sequel depending on how I want this storyline to go. Or I might just start up a whole other one for an idea I've had brewing for months. We'll see! I love seeing/replying your guys' comments both good and bad. It makes my day to be interacting with you all and it's a great refresher from my family lol. Stay safe out there <3


	14. Stuck Around To Let Me Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is guys, the biggest chapter yet. 6000 words, upon revision I ended up cutting a good chunk out that I will most likely include in the next chapter. Enjoy!

The days following up to their date were easier. Penelope still opted not to return to school until Monday just so she could enjoy the rest of her little ‘vacation’. Most of the time was spent simply laying in bed and staring at the old makeshift stars on her ceiling. The rest of the time, she managed to catch up on some reading and other schoolwork but found herself getting distracted more often than she liked. Her mind kept going back to the night that Josie showed up at the gym, then later at the smoothie place. It was so ridiculously easy for them to fall back into old routines. They talked and joked so easily as if nothing had changed. She hated to admit just how happy she felt to be so close to her again, it was kind of ridiculous. 

Not to mention the way Josie stood up to Dana like it was nothing. At first she was worried that Dana was going to scare Josie off with the sharpness of her tone and harsh words. But watching the way Josie didn’t even flinch and showed how well she could give back just as well as she took it… Penelope had to fan herself on more than one occasion thinking about it.

Seeing Dana at the gym was a little awkward after that. She was a tad grateful that Dana wasn’t staring holes into her head anymore while she worked out, but it wasn’t long until Dana seemed to gain the confidence to finally confront her. 

“A word of advice, if you have a girlfriend, you might want to let a girl know so she doesn’t look stupid when she’s doing all she can to flirt with you.” Dana said with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. Penelope put her set of weights down with a huff and turned to her. “It’s… complicated, between Josie and I. But I’m sorry, I should’ve told you from the start that I wasn’t interested.” Dana softened a little, her expression still apprehensive but her arms came undone and dropped to her sides. 

“That girl’s got a bite to her, I’ll admit.” The two of them shared a laugh now that the awkwardness had lifted. “Friends?”

“Friends.”

++

Before she knew it, it was Saturday, the day of the date. She had gotten no sleep the night prior, evidence of her struggles clear from the bags under her eyes and incessant yawning. After the first hour of almost popping her jaw from it, she brewed up the biggest pot of coffee possible and began chugging. 

The whole gang was at her house by noon, despite the date starting at seven. Honestly, if they hadn’t barged through the front door and dragged her out of bed, she probably would’ve slept right up until Josie would come to pick her up and end up scrambling to get ready. 

“I love your all black look just as much as the next girl, but it’s a bit intense for a date. You should opt for some color.” Hope snatched the black sweater that Penelope was holding onto. The green eyed girl stood there, arms crossed in just a pair of black jeans laced with a few ridges along her legs and a bra. “C’mon! I love that sweater!”

“Guys, help me out here?”

Lexa pulled herself to a sitting position on the bed while Clarke sat on the desk chair, twirling herself around. “I like the black.”

“Me too.” Clarke agreed. 

Hope rolled her eyes, throwing a white button up blouse at Penelope instead. “Try that. Let some color into your life.” 

It took the four of them another hour to figure out what Penelope was going to wear to the date. In the end, they settled on black high waisted pants and a different white button up top that was cropped in a way it exposed a small triangle of her midriff, topped with a black ribbon tied around her neck. She knew that was the outfit she was going to wear when the second she stepped out of her closet and all her friends just looked at her slack jawed. 

Despite the fact that her friends were more than happy to help Penelope figure out an outfit, they were still on the fence about Josie. Lexa was the first person Penelope told considering the girl only lived a few houses down. She rushed over after smoothies and word vomited the moment she entered her house. Clarke was already there, just staring in shock as she tried to take in everything. Hope was called after that and after another vodka induced explanation, they all fell asleep scattered around Lexa’s room. 

When they woke, she got lectured for another two hours. Penelope sat there on the floor, just listening to each of her friend’s comments and concerns. Hope made more points about how insufferable Lizzie was and to be wary that while they were polar opposites, they were still twins and likely had more in common than she thought. Lexa was worried that if issues were already happening when a relationship hadn’t even been established, what would things look like once things got serious? 

Clarke was more supportive though not without her own concerns. She knew Josie the least and therefore had to base her opinion solely on what she’s heard from their group. “Everyone gets their one epic love, I’m a firm believer in that. And who knows, Josie could be yours?” Clarke looked over at Lexa as she said it, her eyes full of nothing but love. “I say go for it. We’re young, we’re supposed to be reckless anyways. If things don’t work out, then they don’t. And we’ll be here with ice cream and chocolate if they don’t, and probably will still be here with ice cream and chocolate if they do. Alcohol tentative.” 

++

The next few hours were spent sitting in Penelope’s living room watching TV. Rose stopped by for a brief moment to bring over a tres leche cake she and Rio made that morning that was demolished mere seconds later. Penelope ended up dozing off for a few minutes here and there, comfortably wedged between Clarke and Hope until it was time for her to get dressed and wait. Her friends left half an hour before Josie was set to arrive and that was when the anxiety set in.

Her mind started racing at almost the same rate as her heart. _What if she doesn’t show up again? What if things just end up in the shitter somehow? I’m going to mess it up. I’ll say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing._

She caught her bottom lip between her teeth, focusing all her worries into chewing at it until the doorbell rang. Her body acted before her mind could and the next thing she knew, she was throwing the door open with a little too much excitement to be considered casual.

“H-Hi.” Josie’s chocolate brown eyes peaked over an enormous bouquet of flowers that were being thrusted into Penelope’s hands. “These are for you. The store only had variety bouquets, I hope that’s okay?” Finally tearing her gaze away from the flowers and letting the initial shock wear off, her gaze flickered up to take in Josie’s appearance. 

She wore a long, flowy yellow spaghetti strap dress that ended just past her knees with her hair falling in ringlets around her ( _cute_ ) face. It was a simple outfit, but the fact that the dress sat snug around her waist while the thin straps of the dress exposed so much of her chest that… what was she doing again? Oh, Josie’s lips are moving. She’s talking.

“Penelope?” If she had looked up sooner, she would’ve saw Josie giving her the same glazed eyed once over.

“Yes?” She finally snapped out of her thoughts. If Josie caught her staring, she didn’t show it thankfully. 

“I said you look… amazing, and if you’re ready to go? Your carriage in the form of a sedan awaits.” This time she caught the way Josie’s eyes raked up and down her body, a smirk tugging at her lips once their eyes met again. 

“Yes.. I’ll just put these in some water first. Come in, please.” She quickly made off to the kitchen, almost tripping over several nonexistent things in the process. She could feel Josie’s eyes on her the entire time she filled up a vase and put the flowers away. When she turned around, she was greeted with the sight of Josie sitting at her island, arms propped on the table with her face cradled in her hands. A teasing smile on her face that Penelope couldn’t help but mirror. “What?”

Josie shrugged, sliding off the stool and making her way over to Penelope to offer her hand. “You furrow a brow when you focus. Just one, like you were giving that vase a disapproving scowl. I thought it was just a one time thing but you did it again just now.” 

“Oh.. I didn’t realize.” Her cheeks warmed at the thought that Josie watched her so closely. Despite the ever present voice at the back of her mind telling her to keep her guard up and be weary, she couldn’t help the way the corner of her lips tugged into a smile.

++

“First things first,” Josie turned to face Penelope once they were buckled into her sedan. She held out a green scarf, eyes moving from that to Penelope. “You need to be blindfolded. It’s a surprise.” 

Penelope took a moment to consider her options before taking the scarf and tentatively wrapping it over her eyes. _Fuck it_. “Thank you.” She felt the car start up then, slowly pulling out of her driveway and towards whatever road Josie had in mind. 

Conversation was light-hearted the way there. Most of it consisted of Josie talking about how school was going along with cheer and work. Penelope told Josie that she made up with Dana at the gym the other day to which she said mumbled her breath, “..the nerve of that girl to still be rude to you. Ridiculous.” 

++

When the car finally rolled to a stop, Penelope’s anxiety skyrocketed once more. The palms of her hands became clammy, arms covered in goosebumps and her heart was beating so loudly in her ears that she had to strain to hear Josie talking to her. 

“We’re here! Ah, one second.” There was some frantic shuffling around in the car, doors were opened and shut until suddenly she heard her own door open abruptly. Penelope jumped when the cool air made contact with her skin, the short lived chill diminishing as Josie wrapped her hands around hers. She let Josie lead her out of the car and along what Penelope could make out as a brick pathway. 

“I would say watch your step but.. Heh, I’ll make sure you don’t eat it.” Josie emphasized her point by giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. “Are you nervous?”

Penelope released a breath that she didn’t realize she was holding and nodded. “A little. My hands are kinda sweaty.” 

To her surprise, Josie _giggled._ “I know, I can tell.” 

“Ah, sorry.” She went to release the girl’s hand immediately but the brunette just held on tighter. 

“No, it’s okay. I like holding your hand. Even if it’s a little sweaty.” 

She was eternally grateful that the blindfold was big enough to cover her reddening cheeks.

Since she couldn’t see, Penelope focused all her energy into trying to figure out where Josie took her to. Her interest peaked and all of her guesses went out the window when she heard the sound of a door opening and felt cold AC blowing her curls around. “Are we inside a building?”

“...Yes.” The brunette answered hesitantly. “Does anything feel familiar to you?”

Penelope took a second to think. It didn’t smell like any place she’d been before, and with a blast of AC like that, it’d be hard to forget. Whatever building they were in was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. Was it a library? “No, not at all. When can I take this off?” 

“Soon. Just a little more walking.” 

‘ _Just a little more walking_ ’ ended up being them going on two escalators and through three more doors before they finally stopped in a really cold room. Josie placed her by the door while she went off further into the room to set something up. She focused on the soothing echoes of Josie’s shoes echoing throughout the room. Her anxiety began to taper off thankfully, but the nerves still remained. Accompanied by the sounds of her walking was the ripping of plastic? Along with what Penelope assumed to be a bottle opening followed shortly by cups clinking together. 

The thing that threw her off the most was when she heard the unmistakable clicking of a stove turning on. Her assumptions were proved true as the scent of gas lightly wafted over to her. What the hell was going on? Not only were they somewhere deep inside of a building that was ways away from her house, but maybe they were in a kitchen? 

Oh man. What if this is it? Josie took her to some undisclosed location under the guise of a date so she could kill her. She had _just_ watched that documentary a few nights ago about the couple in Canada that killed a bunch of people. Rafael or Finn was probably in the backseat this whole time and now the two of them were going to burn Penelope to a crisp. Interesting choice for them to choose such an extravagant building to kill her in though. Kind of pretentious.

She should’ve deleted her browser history before leaving the house.

Scratch that. She just shouldn’t have spent three hours googling if watermelon was a cucumber or trying to find a song based off the grumbled lyrics that ended up being _nowhere near_ the actual words.

“Penelope,” Josie’s voice was close to her ear, her breath causing her to jump while ripples of goosebumps littered her skin. When did she get there?

“Y-Yes?”

“I can feel your anxiety from across the room, relax okay? I’m going to take off your blindfold now.” The room was surprisingly bright when she opened her eyes, causing her to squint at first until they adjusted.

“Wow..” Penelope was right about the room being big because holy cow. 

The room was unfamiliar to her. It looked very similar to a lecture hall at your average university but a bit smaller. Her eyes landed on the row of seats to her right first which took up half the room. They looked way too comfortable for the room to be considered a lecture hall, not to mention they lacked those little desks that were usually attached to the sides. A long white canvas stretched across the entire ceiling and stopped just above where the chairs were.

She had been so busy looking at the damn _chairs_ that she didn’t realize the most important part right in front of her. Josie stood at the front of the room with her hands clasped at her waist, only half fidgeting with the hair tie wrapped around her wrist. At her feet laid a large picnic blanket with an assortment of fruits and snacks on top, a brown picnic basket sat behind her. Next to that was a small camp stove that was currently heating up two pots. _That’s what she heard._

“Uh..?” Josie hurried over to drag her over to sit her down on the picnic blanket. 

“Blankets are in the basket just in case because apparently it gets really cold in here after a while. Oh, and I wasn’t sure what kind of snacks or food you would want so I just got a bit of everything. But that’s not the main event anyways--” 

“Josie,” Penelope cut the girl off with a hand on her arm and a quirked brow. “Where are we?”

The look on her face when she realized that Penelope still had no idea where they were was ridiculously cute, her brown eyes comically wide and mouth agape. “Oh, you’ve never been to one of these before?”

Penelope shook her head, lips pressed together in a sheepish smile. “Should I have?”

“Ah, well. It’s not as good as the real thing but the weather lately has been so cloudy that I figured this would be the better option rather than waiting until it clears up. That works out in my favor though.” 

When Penelope still didn’t show any signs of recognition, Josie tugged her down to the blanket, sitting across from her with a sigh. A small black remote appeared in her hands that Penelope didn’t notice before, and with a click, the room went dark. Another click of the remote again and Penelope’s breath caught.

Every inch of the ceiling that was previously just a plain white cloth was now covered in stars. No, scratch that. It was the whole damn galaxy. Green eyes darted rapidly across the whole room as she took in the sight before her. She immediately recognized the constellations that she learned both with her dad when she was young and later on her own. _Big Dipper. Orion. Cassiopeia. North Star._

“It’s a planetarium.”

A planetarium. Of course.

She was in a planetarium.

Josie took her to an empty planetarium.

Josie _reserved_ (?) an entire planetarium for their date?

“Do planetariums always let teenagers rent out the whole place for a date?” Penelope’s voice was soft, like if she spoke any louder the moment would disappear. The stars would fade away like they weren’t there to begin with.

Even in the dark, she could still make out the shy smile on Josie’s features. She felt Josie slide a warm mug into her hands, the contents she immediately recognized on smell alone. Nostalgia filled her senses and as her mind raced. 

“It’s--”

“Hot chocolate. Homemade.”

With a sheepish grin, Josie nodded and picked up her own mug. “How..?”

Penelope watched Josie bring the mug up to her lips for a shallow sip before speaking. “I wanted to do something special for you. At first, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to do anything too cheesy but I still ended up giving in and got you flowers,” She shrugged one shoulder before continuing. “I asked Lexa about what I should do because 1. She probably knows you best, and 2. She’s a lot nicer than Hope is.” Penelope couldn’t help but nod in agreement. 

“Just hope you never get on her bad side.”

“Then, one day I ran into Rose at the store. I mentioned how I was struggling with finding something to do and she told me about how you would stargaze with your dad while drinking his special hot chocolate..” She hesitated then, trying to gauge Penelope’s reaction. When she didn’t respond, she continued. “..I hope that was okay? She told me the recipe and I know it’s probably nowhere near the same as when he made it and-- if I overstepped I’m so sorry, I only wanted to do something nice for yo-- Pen? Penelope, you’re crying.”

Oh. Was she?

Her fingers brushed against her cheeks, surprised to find that yes, she was crying. She hadn’t even realized when that started. One second, she was listening to Josie ramble and the next, her vision was blurry and her heart ached in her chest. She dropped her gaze down to the mug that she now held in her lap. Memories began flooding back to her and she couldn’t stop the next wave of tears even if she wanted to. The nights she spent falling asleep cuddled into her dad’s side after hours of stargazing from their balcony when her mother would be working late. The countless times that her dad would come into her room with a cup of his homemade hot chocolate to cheer her up after a bad day at school or another recital her mother missed because of work but promised she was going to attend.

Back to the time where despite certain things, she felt the happiest.

By now her eye makeup was long gone, having been washed away by the ridiculous amount of tears she shed. It isn’t until she feels Josie’s hands cup her cheeks to wipe away the tears does she tear her gaze away from her lap. “Thank you.” She manages to mutter out in between little hiccups. 

She takes one of Josie’s hands in her own, turning to press a soft kiss into the girl’s palm. “This is the best thing anyone’s ever done for me. I haven’t stargazed in a long time. I.. I really love it. No one has ever rented out a whole planetarium for me before.” Josie smiled at her, the pads of her thumbs still wiping away any left over tears from Penelope’s face.

“I wanted to make a homemade one that you could keep for your room at first. I even asked for help around school for a whole week just for things to fall through. I ended up just having to call in a favor with my Uncle Stefan, the library here is named after him because of all the money he donates to this place.” 

Penelope laughed as a watery smile graced her features. Josie was looking at her with that look again. The look that made Penelope’s heart flutter and her breath catch. Their faces weren’t too far apart either, all she had to do was lean in a little to meet her lips. Her green eyes flickered down to those plump lips for a brief second, contemplating the pros and cons. She was surprised to see that Josie was doing the same when she finally managed to meet her eyes once more. 

“Penelope.. I-I really want to kiss you right now. Can I?”

Wordlessly, she reached over to take the mug from Josie’s hands and set it off to the side. Her hands moved to both sides of the girl's face, pulling her in just enough so their lips brushed when she spoke, “Then just do it already.” 

She shot forward to connect their lips, her hands sliding down to the small of Penelope’s back to push their bodies flush against one another. God did she miss the softness of Josie’s lips. The way that she trapped her bottom lip between her own and sucked just hard enough to pull a quiet moan from her throat. She tasted like strawberries, so sweet and comforting. One hand slid to tangle itself in Josie’s brown curls while the other extended outwards to brace herself as Josie pulled Penelope on top of her. They landed with a quiet thud, causing the both of them to smile into the kiss before Penelope angled her head to slot their mouths together once more.

And they stayed like that for a few minutes longer. Trading shy, tentative kisses until they had to break for air. Penelope took in Josie’s appearance, chest heaving as she caught her breath, her brown hair fanned out on the blanket behind her like a halo. Her pouty lips were red and kiss-swollen, the lipstick she wore long gone. She knew she probably looked the same when Josie brought a thumb up to wipe away the makeup that was inevitably smeared all over her mouth. For a moment, they just watched the other, cheeks flushed and head spinning.

Penelope broke the silence first with a quiet giggle that grew into a hearty laugh so strong her body shook. Eventually she had to roll off Josie and onto her back simply because she couldn’t hold herself up anymore. To her credit, Josie just laid there next to her, giggling along quietly as she watched Penelope. “What?”

As her laughter began to die out, she shook her head. What a whirlwind of emotions the last two hours was. She was so nervous from the moment Josie showed up at her door up until the blindfold came off. Then she was an emotional wreck which dissolved into a warmth in her belly that she hadn’t felt in weeks. She shuffled onto her side with a soft smile and Josie did the same. “I’m just.. really happy that you took me here. I didn’t expect it.. Honestly, it didn’t even cross my mind that you would go all out like this for me. I’m happy, I am.” 

Josie’s smile grew wider and this time, she didn’t hesitate to kiss her again. “I wanted you to know how sorry I was and just how much I wanted to make things right with you. Can you forgive me?”

For the first time in days, Penelope no longer felt the looming presence of unease. Instead, something else sat in its place.

As Penelope laid on a blanket next to a certain beautiful brunette in an empty planetarium, she finally felt herself relax. No longer did she want her inhibitions on love to interfere with how she felt about Josie. She realized that even after the rollercoaster of events and miscommunication that occurred between the two of them, she felt too much for Josie to not want to be selfish. 

“I think I already did a long time ago. Truth is, I don’t think I could ever really be mad at you, Jojo. I’ve got a soft spot for ya.” Josie’s smile was dazzling as she leaned over for another kiss only for Penelope to place a hand on her chest to push her back.

“...But that’s all out the window if your hot chocolate isn’t good.” She said with a smirk.

++

“And neither of them have reached out since?” 

Penelope shook her head, one cheek protruding outwards as she chewed on a strawberry. “Nope.” She finally said with a loud pop on the ‘p’. 

For the past hour they were catching up on things that happened over the last few weeks in their respective lives. Penelope told Josie the reason for her sudden trip to New York to meet her mother’s new boyfriend. She talked about all the things she liked and didn’t like about him. She liked that he seemed level-headed, smart enough to avoid certain topics that would cause her mother to blow her top off. _But he was also the exact opposite of her dad_.

Of course she knew that he had to make her mother happy enough to have been sitting at that dinner with her, yet deep down a part of her still wished that her mother wouldn’t find someone new. 

“I do want her to be happy,” She started off quietly. But as she continued, her voice began to waiver. “But would you think terribly of me if I said that a part of me still wished that she hadn’t moved on? My dad was the love of her life, I know that.” Tears welled up in her eyes again, causing her to release an exasperated breath. _Stop crying._

“Shh.. It’s okay, let it out.” She heard Josie coo in her ear. God. Josie must think she was emotionally unstable. Maybe she’ll change her mind after tonight. 

“I just.. I miss him _so_ much, Jo.. And she never seems to think about him at all.” Penelope hiccuped into the crook of Josie’s neck. Her arms were wrapped tightly around the taller girl’s waist now, clinging onto her as her own body shook with soft sobs. 

“I know, baby.”

Penelope stopped talking so she could focus all her energy on composing herself. Gradually, the sounds of her crying stopped and the tears soon after. She pulled back enough to wipe the dampness from her cheeks. Her makeup was definitely ruined now and when she chanced a quick glance up at Josie, she had to will her heart to start beating again when all she saw was an outpour of affection. 

“You’ve made me cry twice in one night, that’s not fair. It’s your turn now.” 

Josie chuckled lightly before pulling Penelope back in for a soft kiss. “Every time I’d look over at your locker at school, I felt like crying. I missed you a lot. It was even harder because in the beginning, I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it. Not until Lizzie told me she talked to you, then it got better after that. But the little glances from afar were absolute torture, if I’m honest. I’m really sorry again, Pen. I never intended to make you feel unwanted. If you’ll let me, I would be more than happy to keep showing you otherwise.” 

Penelope furrowed a brow, moving a little so they were eye level again despite the fact that they were still laying on their sides. She propped her head up on her hand for a bit of leverage. “Was this not you making up for that?”

She opened her mouth and closed it a few times, as if she was unsure of how to phrase her words. “Both yes and no. But I also wanted to ask you something else.” 

When Josie didn’t continue, Penelope poked her in the side. The contact elicited a quiet giggle from her. “Well?”

“I want to be your girlfriend. Will you be mine?” 

Penelope’s eyes widened. Holy fuck. Her hand stilled on where it rested against Josie’s abdomen. She scrambled internally to think of something to say, _anything_. Was her hand shaking? She wasn’t expecting _that_. Now, it was her turn to just gape at the girl like she was a fish out of water. This was real, right? Could Josie hear the erratic sounds of her heartbeat? Or see the goosebumps that were now covering her skin? Why couldn’t she conjure up a simple sentence to say? “I..” _Nice one._

“I mean, you don’t have to answer now, of course. You can take your time but I just wanted you to know that, I want to be. At some points before, I kind of already thought of you as my girlfriend so this was just long overdue. But again! It’s okay if you do--”

Penelope cut her off with a swift but soft kiss, pulling back only enough so she could kiss her again from a different angle. “You’re cute when you ramble, but you really need to shut up sometimes.” She said against her pillowy lips before kissing her again. 

She pulled back again, this time to look her in the eyes. Josie had a dazed look on her face and her lips were red once more. “I always thought that I’d be the one to ask first.” Penelope whispered so quietly that she wasn’t sure Josie would hear. 

“Who said you can’t do so now?” 

“Hmm.. I don’t know, the moment's gone.” She teased, earning her a playful shove. She quickly rolled back into Josie though, placing one of her hands securely at the nape of her neck. “You’re right though. To anyone else, we looked like girlfriends already and I do think of you that way sometimes.. But, is it too fast?”

Josie’s hands came up to cup her cheeks softly. Penelope’s eyes fluttered closed for a brief second as a wave of calm washed over her at the contact. She decided at that moment that she loved how safe she felt like that. “We’ve practically been dating for a few months now, if anything we’re going too _slow_.” The brunette said with a grin, but her eyes betrayed her. They screamed vulnerability and just a hint of worry. “Like I said though, you can take your time. I just want you to know how I feel.”

She was right. They technically had been dating for a while (not counting the gala hiccup). Their behavior and actions towards each other were nowhere near ‘just friends’. It never was. Things had been building up to this point ever since that day Josie came up to her in the diner. They went on dates, cuddled, and shared a bed and kisses in between then and now. Just from looks alone, it was clear to anyone that their feelings for each other were far from platonic. 

So why does a part of her still tell her otherwise? Forgiveness was never the issue between them, even without this date. Penelope knew that. She did. However was she too quick to forgive? Would this ‘impulse’ decision just come back to bite her in the ass later on? Though it did seem like a waste of time to start all over when it was clear as day that they were not capable of going slow.

“Thank you,” Penelope bit her lip. “I won’t lie, part of me is still apprehensive about everything. You make me so nervous that I don’t know how to think sometimes. I do want to be your girlfriend, but I also think we should take things slow. I don’t want to mess things up.”

A myriad of emotions flickered across her features. Happiness, nervousness, confusion and relief. The smile on Josie’s face washed away any and all worries that Penelope had. She wouldn’t hesitate to throw caution to the wind if it meant Josie would smile like that. 

She leaned in to kiss her girlfriend for the first time. _Josie is her girlfriend_. Pulling away before they got carried away, Penelope sat up and took a sip from her mug. “The hot chocolate is really great.” She said with a soft smile to Josie. The brunette perked up and sat up as well, staying close enough that their shoulders brushed against each other. 

“Wait until you try these little sandwiches I made, babe.” 

++

It was nearing midnight by the time they had to pack up and leave. Josie’s parents were texting her incessantly to come home while Penelope got a few from her friends and Rose begging for an update. Silently, they packed up the empty food containers, blankets, and headed out to Josie’s car. Even with their arms full of items, they still managed to hold hands the entire way to the car and during the drive. Josie pressed a few kisses to the back of Penelope’s hand at almost every stoplight which only made the darker haired girl blush as red as a tomato. 

And then, Josie walked Penelope to her door and kissed her with such softness that Penelope thought her heart was going to burst. Her lips tasted like hot chocolate now, mixed with something else that Penelope could only categorize as uniquely Josie Saltzman. 

“Call me later?”

Penelope nodded, leaning up on her toes to kiss her again. “Let me know when you’re home.” They kissed again, just enjoying the intimacy and just the fact that they _could_. Josie’s arms wrapped around Penelope’s shoulders while hers snaked around her waist to hold her close. 

If it hadn’t been for the flickering porch light, they probably would’ve stayed in each other’s arms for much longer. Penelope tore herself away from Josie, groaning as she buried her face in the girl’s neck. “I’ll be right in, Rose!” 

The door swung open then and the two jumped apart so fast they both almost knocked over a flower vase. Rose stood there, doing her famous ‘angry parent’ expression that Penelope only saw when her or Rio was in trouble. But the telltale crinkle of at the ends of her eyes betrayed her. “It’s late, girls. Please drive safe on your way home, okay Josie?”

“Of course Rose. Have a good night.” Penelope tried not to frown too much as Josie stepped off the porch and left for her car, but not without throwing one last smile over her shoulder. The two women waited by the front door to watch her car turn the corner before stepping inside.

“Did you wait up for me?” Penelope asked her once they were seated on the couches in the living room. Rose scooted right next to her, mirroring Penelope by tucking her legs beneath her and turning her body towards the other.

“Of course! I had to know how the redemption date went. That girl went to a lot of trouble planning it, you know.” Rose told her with a little wag of her finger.

“I know,” She sighed as she let herself sink into the soft cushions of the couch. “Thank you for helping her. It was great.” A beat of hesitation.

“She asked me if she could be my girlfriend.. And I said yes.” 

  
  
Rose squealed with joy, leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead before getting up. “I’m so happy for you, sweetheart. I’m also glad, because now I don’t need to have a talk with her and my frying pan.” Penelope laughed at the idea of Rose trying to fight Josie with one of her beloved iron skillets on her behalf. “Would you really?”

The older woman peaked from around the hallway, the same warm expression that she had found comfort in for so many years.

“Without hesitation, my dear. Who'd you think got that boy from a few years ago to finally leave you alone?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~and they were girlfriends~
> 
> What'd you think? Thoughts? Concerns? Did you anticipate the planetarium date? I know I didn't include a lot of breadcrumbs to hint at it, but I didn't want to completely give it away. I changed a lot in the final revision but I would say I'm pretty content with how it turned out. And if u couldn't tell, Penelope's date outfit is definitely the one from the show when it was the twins' birthday bc that fit is so CUTE. Sis has so many good outfits ugh.  
> As much as I do kind of enjoy reading angst, I much prefer writing posie fluff bc the Legacies writers hates us enough as is lmao.  
> I also don't remember if I mentioned it before but I want to thank you all for 300+ kudos and 5000+ hits! Holy cow. 
> 
> ((and I just wanted to mention that my other fic gained 10+ kudos after posting a smut chapter... I see ya'll (́≖◞౪◟≖‵) ))


	15. If All Your Gravity Did Not Hit Me

Her parents' marriage always seemed strained. Penelope remembered vividly that Robert didn’t work to the extent that Sabine did, opting to spend more of his time caring for his only daughter instead. He claimed once that at one point, he had ultimately ‘reached the end of his career’ though she knew that wasn’t the case. After a lot of digging, she found out that Robert realized Sabine was a better fit to lead the tech company than he was, therefore handing over the position to her. Things were a lot better after that. She was happier and so was he.

Then Penelope found out how things were when her mother first got pregnant. 

It’s hard to love a baby that you never planned on having, nor keeping. If Robert hadn’t found the pregnancy test and reminded Sabine about the family they always planned for, Penelope might’ve never been born. After all, what's the point in having a successful career if you don't have anyone to share it with? 

The first trimester was tough. They disagreed on a lot but still wanted to make things work. One day, when the two of them had a close call in a car accident, everything changed. Sabine was more appreciative of her second chance at life and they both fell more in love. But things got harder again once Penelope was born and the postpartum set in. It was like they were back at the start again, having to work from scratch. Way too many nights spent apart, arguments, tears. It was hard. But eventually, they got back to the happy times again.

They were finally a happy family. Sabine would come home from a long day at work and a baby Penelope would waddle straight into her arms before she even got through the threshold of the house, followed closely by Robert. She wished she could have remembered the way it felt when her mother hugged her with such affection.

When Penelope started first grade, things became strained again. Sabine claimed that Robert would have time to work at the company once more. The workload was almost doubled with the amount of new acquisitions and his expertise was needed. Robert refused. He wanted to focus his time on Penelope and give her the time and love that he failed to get because his parents spent all their time working. Sabine called him weak, saying that Rose would be more than happy to step in during their work hours. 

But still, her father refused to give in. 

He did his best to make up for the absence of her mother with distractions. Puzzles, movies, drawing, but nothing stuck. Until Robert found a dusty telescope in the garage.

“ _ I wanted to be an astronomer once, did you know that?” _

“ _ That’s the people that likes stars, right? _ ”  _ Robert nodded his head and took a sip from his hot chocolate. “Yup. I went to school and learned allll about it. But sometimes you don’t always get what you want in life because of other stuff. Grandpa wanted me to use my degree for the company instead.” _

_ “That’s how you made that really big machine, right daddy? The one that helps sick people?” Little five year old Penelope looked up at her dad with astonishment. She knew her dad made things in a big glass box that adults always called ‘the lab’ and made people better.  _

_ “Sure did, sweetheart. But part of me still misses the stars,” He pulled his daughter into his side, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. “I want you to know that I support you in whatever you want to do. If you want to be a professional garden gnome, I think you’d be the best garden gnome ever!” _

_ Penelope giggled at her dad. How funny! “I can’t be a gnome, silly! I don’t have the hat!” _

++

The loud blaring alarm woke Penelope with a start. A heavy hand reached over to slap it off with a loud thud. A light sheen of sweat covered her body, her blankets tangled around her legs and pillows strewn everywhere. She took stock of her surroundings as she sat up gingerly, trying to brush off the feeling of uncertainty in her gut. She peeled off her now damp night shirt and tossed it blindly to the floor.

When was the last time she had a dream about her dad? She glanced over at the clock,  _ 6:40am Monday.  _ In spite of her frazzled state, she felt herself starting to smile. At least she was going to see Josie again today. 

It had been a few weeks since their planetarium date. Things quickly reverted back to the way they were before the gala. Early morning meetings by her locker, waiting in the bleachers as Josie had cheer practice so she could walk her to her car and later sit in the diner to ‘do homework’ for three hours. Lunch was spent separately at least because they were together the rest of the time. 

She rushed through her morning routine, already feeling giddy as the prospect of seeing Josie. Ever since she made the mental decision to, as Lexa said, ‘ _ Just say fuck it and go all out _ ’, she was a lot happier. Though the little voice at the back of her head kept reminding her of all the ways things could possibly go south remained, she did her best to ignore it. It was hard to think of anything whenever Josie kissed her stupid anyways.  _ Which she made sure to do first thing as a greeting. _

Rose was gone for the week which left Penelope to her own devices until then. As she stomped down the stairs and sat at her kitchen island with a mug of coffee in her hands, she finally checked her phone messages. There were a few from a group chat she had with Lexa and Hope asking what time would be good for a training session. Some news headlines, reminders from apps and… a text from her mom. Just one of many that began rolling in two days ago. They were short and concise, very Sabine-esque. 

_ Mother: We need to talk.  _

_ Mother: I did not intend for New York to end that way.  _

_ Mother: I’ll be in town in a few weeks. We’re talking then. _

The fact that her mother waited so long to finally say something only lessened Penelope’s desire to see her. Seeing her mother and dealing with her now would only dampen her mood, and she was finally letting herself be happy for once! With a simple flick of her finger, she removed the notification from her phone and grabbed her stuff to leave for school.

++

The back of her neck was damp by the time she made it there. Riding a motorcycle was  _ hell  _ in summer and the motorcycle jacket didn’t make it any better. She ran her hand through her curls a few times in a poor attempt to rid them of helmet hair. The parking lot was already half full by the time she pulled into her usual spot. Per usual, she still got a few glances thrown her way once she turned her bike off. She had gotten so used to them that she just started waving at them with an annoyed look, making them turn away quickly with embarrassment. 

Josie stood right by the entrance today, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she waited for Penelope to make her way over. In her hands were two cups of coffee. Penelope was probably going to be wired for the rest of the day after two cups of caffeine, but she’d take going to sleep at 3am over rejecting coffee from Josie Saltzman. 

“I added a little more sugar in yours this time because I didn’t want you torturing yourself with another cold brew,” She started off before leaning in for a kiss and pressing the cup into her hands. “And also because the bitterness ruins the sweetness of your kisses.” She murmured against her lips, kissing her one more time before pulling away. “How was your night?”

Penelope tried to play it casually with a shrug but the lopsided grin that was plastered on her features said otherwise. “Not too bad. I had another weird dream though so this second cup of coffee is much appreciated.” She held up the cup and took a long sip for emphasis. 

“Have you been eating weird stuff before bed? I heard it was a thing. I saw it online somewhere once.”

The laugh that erupted from her pulled a matching grin on Josie’s face and she just shook her head. “No, no weird stuff. Probably just the overabundance of serotonin in my brain that’s causing them.” She took Josie’s hand in hers and tugged her towards the entrance of the school before she could respond. “C’mon. Let’s  _ not  _ give everyone in the quad a free show.” 

She was halfway through her math homework at study hall when a paper plane flew right into her temple. It startled her so much that she dropped her pencil with a quiet squeak and glanced around frantically. Everyone around her was busy minding their own business, head hung low and eyes focused solely on their work. Then her eyes landed on Josie standing by the door, a wide grin on her face. One of her hands kept pointing at the paper plane that now sat by her feet. She reached down to grab it, brow raised in confusion as she tried to unfold it as quietly as possible. 

_ Got called in for a shift today after school :c there’s a milkshake with your name on it if you can come and keep me company ;) _

Penelope was gonna have to hit the gym more often if free milkshakes was what dating Josie Saltzman entailed.

++

The best part about hanging out at the diner while Josie worked was watching how she interacted with every customer. She always had the brightest smile on her face, even for the annoying guys that would occasionally try to hit on her. Seeing  _ their  _ faces after she rejected them only to go over and press a kiss to Penelope’s cheek was sweeter than any milkshake she ever had. 

Two hours into a five hour shift, Penelope felt a nudge to her side and a very tired (albeit cute) brunette plop down next to her. Resting her head on her shoulder, Penelope reached over to give her hands a squeeze. “You’re halfway there, Jojo. Customers haven’t been that bad now, have they?”

She felt Josie shake her head in response.

Penelope held up her water for the girl to drink from before settling back into the booth in a more comfortable position for the both of them. “One of the waitresses is on maternity leave so I’ll probably be working more. Not to mention practice has gotten more demanding since the homecoming game is in a few weeks. I feel like I’m running on fumes.” 

An idea popped into her head then but she wasn’t sure how well Josie would perceive it. She wrapped an arm around Josie’s shoulders, turning to press a light kiss to her hair. “How about this. I have two suggestions that you can either pick whichever one you like best or just completely ignore.” Josie pulled back enough to look at Penelope, a curious glint in her eye. “You can come over after work and let me pamper you, spend the night if you’d like? Or, we can take Friday off for a little weekend getaway. Your choice.” 

She knew she made the right choice when she saw the widest smile spread across Josie’s lips. 

“How about both?”

++

Later that night, Penelope seated Josie on the couch in her living room and rushed off to grab supplies from the kitchen. She left the diner a little before Josie was scheduled to get off in order to go to the grocery store to stock up. On her trip, she bought junk food, flowers, bubble bath, essential oils, and candles. She even got her a pair of fuzzy socks too. The lady ringing her up at the store gave her a knowing smirk and Penelope had to duck her head to hide her blush.

The thought that came to her mind as she laid out all the goods she purchased wasn’t a shocking one, but definitely one that she wouldn’t be sharing with her friends.

_ I’m so whipped. _

“Are you in the mood for some wine or just a soda?”

Penelope turned around to see Josie staring at her; her face from the nose down blocked by the couch so she could only see a pair of big brown eyes looking back at her. The visual made Penelope’s heart squeeze and she had to fight the urge to run over and squish her face. 

“Just a soda. We still have school in the morning, yknow?” 

“Oh, whatever. Follow me, there’s a bath waiting for you upstairs.” 

She turned around at the same moment she felt Josie’s hand slide into hers and pull her in for a kiss. “I think you’re too good for me.” 

Penelope could only smirk. “Don’t you forget it.”

++

She led the way upstairs and to the bathroom. For a brief moment, she hesitated. There was a high chance that she might’ve gone overboard with the whole bath setup, but Penelope would take being too much over not enough any day.

With her free hand, she pushed open the door and stepped aside to let Josie in first. Candles lined the surface of the sink and the bathtub; lavender to be specific, which were Josie’s favorite. She made sure of that. She quickly hurried in to run the water, the tub beginning to foam instantly.

“You can tell me if it’s too much, I know I went a little overboard. But I saw this in a movie once and you seemed really exh--”

Her words cut off as Josie’s lips were pressed to hers. Soft hands cupped the sides of her face to hold her still. They only broke apart after both of them were smiling too much.

“It’s perfect. Thank you babe.” 

Penelope’s smile widened. “Babe?”

She watched as the apples of her  _ girlfriend _ ’s cheeks reddened at the realization and she shrugged. “Do you want me to call you  _ baby  _ instead?”

Just as Josie began to step away from her, she quickly wrapped her arms around the girl’s waist and pulled their bodies together. “You can call me whatever you want,  _ babe. _ ”

She laughed when Josie’s face got redder and she slapped her arm in faux annoyance. Now that they were  _ officially  _ dating, Penelope found it a lot easier to make Josie blush. On some days she would purposefully say or do things just to see what kind of reaction she could pull from the brunette that day. It was just  _ too  _ adorable and Penelope couldn’t help herself. She liked being able to see the effect she had on her. It reminded her that she wasn’t alone in her feelings.

“I’ll leave you to it. Shout if you need anything, there are some clothes laid out for you on my bed if you’d like.”

“Is--”

“-- _ Yes,  _ the hoodie is there too.” She pecked Josie on the lips once more before making her exit. In the short amount of time that they began fully dating and spending more time together, Josie had already staked a claim on pieces of Penelope’s clothing. She took an extreme liking to an old hoodie of hers with the words ‘I’m’ and a picture of a cartoon cheese below it. 

_ I’m cheese’d. _

It had been a gag gift from Lexa one Christmas that she ended up keeping purely because the material was ridiculously soft. 

She was probably never going to see that sweater again. 

_ Josie looks cuter in it anyways. _

While Josie soaked in her bath upstairs, Penelope went back to preparing everything downstairs. A ding sounded in the kitchen as her foot made contact with the last step, signaling that their dinner was done. Right when she got back from the store earlier, she had thrown a bunch of ingredients into a pressure cooker for honey sesame chicken. It was one of many of Rose’s amazing recipes that she had the pleasure of learning growing up.

With dinner finished and the movie snacks ready to go, all she had to do now was wait for Josie to finish. She took that time to scroll through the notifications on her phone. A few texts from Hope and Lexa asking about homework, one from Rose asking how dinner tasted, and two more from her mother. Penelope had no interest whatsoever in reading or responding to the messages but she figured that if she sent a text saying she wasn’t interested in whatever her mother had to say, they would stop.

_ Mother: You can’t ignore me forever, Penelope.  _

_ Mother: We’ll have to talk soon. _

_ Mother: At least let me know that you’re alive and well. _

_ Penelope: Still kickin’ and breathing. Sorry to disappoint. _

She pocketed her phone when she heard Josie coming down the stairs, her mood brightening considerably already. No more thoughts about her mother for the rest of the week. Instead, it’s all about pampering and spending time with Josie, her _girlfriend._

Her girlfriend that she now knows looks like an absolute  _ goddess  _ with her hair wet, face bare of any makeup and in her clothes.  _ Oh man. _

“That might’ve been the best bath of my life.” Josie said as she tried to walk over to her only for Penelope steered her in the direction of the couch instead. Penelope had to kiss the pout off her lips for that.

“And this will be the best dinner of your life. Rose’s recipe so it’s basically guaranteed.”

Penelope was embarrassed to say her cheeks heated up at the groan that left Josie’s mouth when she took her first bite of food. And when Josie realized why Penelope was blushing, she did the same. 

~~ These idiots were doomed. ~~

Over dinner they talked more about little things. Josie gave small anecdotes from when she went to cheer camp with Lizzie at age 7. No one there believed them when they said they were twins because of how different they looked, thus leading to their infamous tagline.

“Fraternal. Obvi. The amount of times that Lizzie and I had to repeat that is ridiculous, I’m telling you.” 

Penelope talked about Rio. Asides from Hope and Lexa, she was the closest thing to a sibling to her. Even though they weren’t blood, she still loved the girl to pieces. The nights that Rio would sleepover when she was younger were her favorites. They would watch movies, draw, or play boardgames. Tears pricked at her eyes everytime they had to say goodbye though. Rio’s brows would furrow and she’d get the ‘ _ biggest pout you’d ever seen’,  _ but after promising that they would spend the next weekend together, it’d go away. 

“It sounds like she loves you a lot.” Josie said after they’d cleared their plates. 

Penelope nodded, reaching over to stack said plates together and bringing them to the sink. “The feeling’s mutual. She’s a great kid with a good head on her shoulders. And I’ll be honest, I’m a bit scared for you to meet her because she might like you more than me.” 

Josie laughed as she went to wrap her arms around Penelope’s waist at the sink. Her chin hooked onto her shoulder while she nestled her nose into the side of her neck. “Sounds about right. But I think you should be more worried that  _ I  _ will end up liking her more than  _ you. _ Coloring and boardgames? Sounds like my new best friend right there.” Her girlfriend’s laugh only echoed louder at her pout.

“You’re gonna tell me this  _ after  _ I made you one of Rose’s recipes? The audacity. Go on, throw it back up right now.” Penelope gestured to the now empty sink in front of her, smirking when she felt Josie smile against her skin. 

“..but it was so tasty..” 

She turned around to face her, her arms once again locking around Josie’s shoulders. “You liked it?” 

Josie nodded frantically and Penelope found it endearing. “C’mon,” She placed a hand at the small of her back and directed her to the couch. “It’s snacks and movie time. I’ll even give you a foot rub.” 

The way Josie’s eyes widened and practically threw herself onto the couch made Penelope laugh so hard that her stomach hurt. She pulled out a futon from the closet that extended out the couch, making a little makeshift bed. Once they were settled on the blankets with their snacks and drinks, Penelope let Josie choose the movie while she indulged in one too many pieces of sour candy. 

And for the second time that night, Josie let out a moan that painted Penelope’s cheeks red when she pressed her thumb into a pressure point. 

_ Thank God for Google. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What started out with plot, ended up just being pure fluff because it was what I needed at the time haha. Time got away from me! I got distracted playing Valorant and writing a one shot (that is now up and waiting for you all to read (: ) I've also been racking my brain on how I want the last remaining chapters to play out, we're nearing the end guys!
> 
> I think quarantine has muddled my brain to the point where I fully only have 2 braincells now. If there's anything you'd like to see our two idiots do in this fic or anything of the sorts, let me know! I'm always happy to read your guys' comments and suggestions, good or bad. Stay safe and stay sane, WEAR A MASK! 
> 
> See you guys later c:


	16. You're the One, You Are the Only One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lil bit of protective!Penelope but also dumbass!Penelope and jealous!Penelope bc our girl be kinda stupid sometimes. She means well though :)

“ _Excuse me,_ move aside unless you want me to _make_ you. Yes you dumbass, move it or lose it. Thanks.” Penelope grunted as she squeezed her way past the growing crowd that formed on the football field. It was amazing how fast people gathered when something like this happened. And it wasn’t like they rushed over to help, _no_ of course not. They just crowded around due to pure curiosity and to gawk. _Stupid rubber necking._

It pissed Penelope off even more.

“ _Move!_ ” Fed up, Penelope grabbed the elbow of the boy who stood right in front of her and shoved him aside with a bit too much force but she didn’t care.

“Penelope!” Her anger subsided just a bit once her eyes met Josie’s. She had a relieved smile on her face and her eyes were _actual_ pools of gold, sparkling from the light of the sunset. A few stray hairs that escaped her ponytail stuck to the sides of her neck and forehead with sweat and her cheeks were flushed pink, likely from the exertion of cheerleading and the heat. Josie was sitting on the grass with her legs extended out while Lizzie along with some other girls from the team knelt beside her. Their coach was off to the side on the phone talking animatedly.

“What have you gotten yourself into now, Jojo?” Despite the situation, Penelope could feel a smile tug at her lips. She went to stand next to her girlfriend, taking the hand that was extended out to her so she could tug the girl up. “Just point to which girl did it. I’ll take care of it.” Penelope leaned close to whisper that last part and Josie just laughed. 

“Who do you think?” Josie said as she rolled her eyes playfully, her own lips pulling into a small smile.

Penelope’s gaze flickered over to the girl in question; Maya. She stood near the back of the crowd with a few other girls from the squad, her arms crossed like _she_ found the whole ordeal an inconvenience to her.

Josie and her were on the squad since freshman year. They got along well but were never really close friends, according to her and Lizzie. Penelope talked to her once at a party Hope dragged her to and _may_ or _may not_ have flirted with her in order to score some better booze for her friends. Maya didn’t seem to mind that Penelope didn’t really acknowledge the flirting the next time they saw each other at school, but ever since her and Josie became official, she started treating Josie differently. 

Talking about her behind her back, purposefully knocking into her in the locker room, weird glares, etc. This was the icing on the cake though. She saw the whole thing from up on the bleachers.

Josie was in the middle of doing some tumbling practice when Maya decided it was a good idea to walk right into her path. Mid flip Josie had to contort her body differently so she wouldn’t knock Maya out which ended in her twisting her ankle in the process. 

She should’ve just hit the bitch honestly, but Penelope wasn’t going to say that. _At least not with this many witnesses._

Maya glanced up after a few seconds, probably feeling the dirty look that Penelope was shooting her way. Their eyes met for a short second before Maya broke contact but it was long enough for Penelope to catch a flicker of something.. Guilt?

“Let’s get you to the nurse for some ice, yeah?” Penelope didn’t wait for an answer. Instead, she wrapped one arm around Josie’s back and the other behind her knees so she could scoop her up in her arms. Seeing how the little display of strength affected Josie did wonders for her ego and she made sure that Maya was watching when she pressed kiss to her cheek. 

“Show off.” She heard Josie mumble against her shoulder. 

Lizzie accompanied them on the walk over to the nurse, rambling on about how their parents were going to freak out and how she was going to kick Maya off the team. Josie did her best to calm her sister down but mostly just let the girl continue until she eventually ran out of steam. Penelope stayed quiet for the most part, while her and Lizzie were on civil terms now after their little talk at the library, they still weren’t close. They weren’t at each other’s throats either but it wasn’t like either went out of their way to associate. It seemed to work for them. 

The nurse put a wrap on Josie’s ankle and pressed an ice pack firmly to it but not before telling Josie that she would have to sit out of practice for at least a month and a half. Lizzie whined, Josie seemed a bit impartial but Penelope was happy. Her girlfriend was finally getting a well deserved break from everything. She just had to sprain her ankle to get it… Couldn’t she just have a vacation like a normal person?

Their little weekend getaway was canceled last minute when Josie’s parents called to say her aunt was visiting and Rose asked if Penelope could watch Rio for one afternoon. She was disappointed that her weekend with Josie was canceled, but ‘ _puzzles with Rio gives you a run for your money’_ Penelope said to Josie over the phone that weekend. 

Josie ignored her for the rest of the afternoon. 

“Looks like you’re gonna have to take some time off whether you like it or not, Saltzman.” Penelope draped an arm around the girl’s shoulder. Her smile widened when she felt Josie melt into her side.

“Mhm. Does this mean you’re going to wait on me hand and foot?” 

Penelope pursed her lips, tapping her chin with a finger as she pretended to deliberate. “I’m going to require some hefty compensation.” 

“Do you take brownies and kisses?” She nodded with a chuckle. 

“Deal.”

A knock at the door broke the two of them out of their little spell.

Penelope turned around to see Maya standing at the door, arms still crossed and expression uncomfortable. She went to push the girl into the hallway and shut the door of the nurses office behind her. “What do you want?” Penelope snarked. Maya seemed unaffected by Penelope’s anger.

“I don’t care if you have an issue with me, but don’t take it out on Josie okay? If you’re still mad about the party--”

“That’s not-- what?”

Penelope stared at the girl incredulously, one eyebrow quirked as she scoffed. “When you gave me all that booze?” 

Maya shook her head and to her surprise, the girl was _smiling._ “Whatever’s between me and Josie has nothing to do with you, Park. It’s far from it actually.”

“Josie’s my girlfriend and when you’re out here being disrespectful and hurting her, it’s my business. Not to mention you’re always staring me down with dirty looks too. Now spill unless you want me to make you.” Penelope took a step towards her to emphasize her point.

May shifted on her feet, her demeanor from seconds earlier was gone. In its place was a Maya that Penelope hadn’t seen before. She was fidgety and nervous, the complete opposite from the girl that exuded confidence everyone always saw. 

“Long story short, I had a crush on Josie and it made me act the way I did.” 

“ _Huh?_ ” Penelope asked in disbelief. 

This girl was messing with her, right? There was no way. Josie told Penelope that they barely hung out enough to really know each other. The two only ever hung out during cheer functions; practice, games, sleepovers, etc. Maya always ran in different circles with the exception of the squad and up until recently, was in a relationship with some dude on the football team for the past three years. 

But then again, it was Josie. It was nearly impossible to _not_ have a crush on her. She had a way of making people fall in love with her, intentionally or not.

“I’ve been.. Going through some stuff, figuring things out. The crush started over a year ago, I was confiding in Josie about my ex and she was really sweet about it. She helped me a lot. And when I realized that the fuzzy feeling I had wasn’t from the wine coolers we drank, I freaked. I avoided her as much as possible. I just got really angry whenever I saw her because I’d always get that _feeling_ , and I didn’t want to believe I swung that way. I realized later that it was wrong and I shouldn’t feel so resentful, there’s nothing wrong with me feeling that way or anyone for the matter. I talked it over with my ex and he didn’t take it well, so I dumped him. After that I knew ready to tell Josie how I felt but that’s when you two got together and I got thrown back into the same mindset.” 

Realization dawned on Penelope at Maya’s confession, the tips of her ears turning pink with embarrassment. This whole time she suspected that Maya was jealous of _Josie_ because they were dating and because of what Penelope did, when really it was the opposite. Maya was jealous that _Penelope_ was the one dating Josie. Not the other way around.

Lexa was right when she said Penelope had a big head, always thinking things were about her. Yikes.

“So you thought it made sense to just keep treating her terribly? What are you, six?” Penelope asked sarcastically and crossed her arms. As much as she wanted to feel bad for her, she wasn’t going to let Maya’s actions slide.

“I’ve never.. Had this feeling before, okay? It’s all new to me and I panicked. I had a lot to work through and I regret everything.” 

Penelope felt herself soften as a sigh left her lips. She could sympathize with that. Having a sudden sexual awakening at their age when you think you’ve got everything figured out would rile up anybody. She couldn’t understand how Maya could feel angry at being attracted to girls, her own experience was much different. When she realized that she was bi, she just went on with her day like normal. She had a gut feeling here and there that her mother had some qualms about Penelope’s sexuality but the conversation never happened. Penelope didn’t know what Maya’s homelife was like, but a faint memory came to mind of Hope telling her that the Machados weren’t very liberal. Green eyes followed Maya’s movements carefully as she tried to make sure that the girl was actually truthful. While her explanation didn’t completely justify her actions towards Josie, she still understood. 

“I didn’t realize you two were so close. Josie only ever said you guys were civil.” She said, a hint of jealousy in her tone at the fact. There was no reason for Josie to lie about something like that, right? Penelope wasn’t the type of girlfriend to monitor friends like that. Sure, she got jealous every once in a while but she knew better than to let it consume her. Her trust in Josie had gotten better over time and Josie had put in the effort to build it back. She wouldn’t throw all that work away so easily.

Right? _Stop being an idiot Park. That girl looks at you like you hung the stars, don’t forget that._

“No, we’re not that close actually. I only ever see her for cheer stuff or when I’m with Lizzie which now that I think about it, go hand in hand. She’s always been nice to me and I guess most of how much the crush came to be is just from some good old fashioned pining.” Maya said with an uncomfortable laugh that came out more forced than anything. “And I’d appreciate it a lot if you didn’t say anything. I know you don’t owe me anything but I just want to be the one that does it.” 

“Oh.” Once again, Penelope could feel her cheeks color with embarrassment at the confession. She really needed to stop jumping to conclusions like this, making up all types of scenarios in her head before anything was even confirmed. It only made her realize how insecure she felt in this relationship with Josie. She filed that piece of information away for later. “I wouldn’t out you like that. Even if you’ve been a shit person to my girlfriend.” 

An awkward silence blanketed them then and Penelope felt the sudden longing to be near Josie at that exact moment. “Do you think she’d be up to talk to me right now?”

“It’s Josie. Of course she would.” 

The two girls entered the nurses office then, Penelope stepped to the side to hold the door open before settling herself _right next_ to Josie with a protective arm wrapped around her waist. Penelope met Josie’s confused expression with an innocent smile that widened when she felt her girlfriend melt into her side once more. 

“How’s the ankle?” Maya asked quietly. Her hands were nervously fidgeting so badly in front of her that Penelope was about to slap them apart if Josie hadn’t spoken up. 

“Sprained. I’ll be out of cheer and work for a while since I can’t stand on it.” Josie said with a surprising amount of sass in her tone. It almost made Penelope feel guilty at how reassuring she was that Josie would be accepting of Maya’s apology. 

At the same time she was proud as hell of her girlfriend for not taking any shit. 

“I came to apologize, Josie. I’m really sorry about hurting you and just.. Everything else. I know I’ve been a terrible teammate and.. Friend.” Maya muttered the last part a little quieter than the rest. When Josie’s expression didn’t change, she continued. “I..” Penelope watched as Maya took in a deep breath. _Oh shit._ Was she gonna tell her now? She met the other girl’s eyes briefly and gave her a questioning look. Should Penelope even be here right now? It’s kind of awkward to have your crush’s girlfriend sitting next to her while you confess.. Right? Maybe if she just.. Slouched down against the bed a little and made herself smaller, it would make things less weird.

“I’ve had a crush on you for a while and I’m sure you know that up until then, I’ve mainly been all about guys.” She said with the same strained laugh again. “So needless to say, the whole thing just kind of threw me for a loop and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I lashed out and I’m sorry. For everything. Do you think... could you ever forgive me?” 

Penelope had dropped her gaze to her shoes and focused on the scuff on her Converse. She didn’t think Maya had the guts to _actually_ do it right then and there but she did! Holy _crap_ did she wish the floor would just open up and swallow her whole. She felt the moment Josie’s body tensed next to hers and directed all her worry into chewing at her bottom lip. The couple seconds Josie took to absorb Maya’s words dragged on much longer than it actually was. It felt like torture because 1. The whole thing was just awkward as hell, and 2. _What was Josie going to say?_

“O-Oh..” Josie finally sputtered out after what Penelope was _sure_ was two hours when in reality, _it was three seconds._ She glanced over at Josie when she felt a hand squeeze her thigh but quickly focused back on the mark on her shoe. “I had no idea you felt that way, I was sure that you just hated me for the sake of it.” Penelope had to bite back the smile that tugged at her lips when she felt Josie lean further into her. She was mustering up some strength.

“I’m sorry that you felt like you had to express your feelings through anger instead. While I accept your apology, I still don’t appreciate the way you chose to act on those feelings. I hope you’ve worked through whatever you’re going through, it’s not easy trying to figure yourself out sometimes. I appreciate your apology, Maya and I do accept it. Thank you.”

Josie waited for Maya to visibly take in what just happened before speaking up again. She had an unreadable expression on her face that gradually softened with a smile and Penelope was positive that she probably didn’t expect that answer. 

“If you’ll excuse me now, my girlfriend has to get me home before my parents come to school and makes a scene.” 

Maya nodded, the smile from before still plastered on her features when she inclined her head to Penelope and stepped out of the room. To her side, Josie slumped away from Penelope in favor of falling back onto the bed with her eyes closed. She muttered a quiet groan that made Penelope chuckle. She plopped herself down on the stool next to Josie’s bed and unashamedly let her eyes wander over Josie’s profile. The little curve at the very tip of her nose, the fullness of her lips of which were permanently tugged very slightly downwards in a cute pout. Her baby hairs always had a mind of their own whenever her hair was pulled back in a ponytail. 

How lucky was she that Josie agreed to be her girlfriend?

“You’re staring.” 

Green eyes flickered up to meet Josie’s deep brown ones and she could only give a shrug. “Just taking in your beauty. After that _exceptionally romantic_ confession, I gotta bask in your ambiance while I still can before you decide to leave me for Maya.” Her tone was playful and she was grateful to see Josie roll her eyes before reaching out for her. Interlacing their fingers, she let herself be pulled into a kiss that left her dizzy. 

“As tempting as it was, I think I’ll stick with you for now. I highly doubt Maya is as good at massages as you are.” 

“What can I say? I’m quite talented with my hands.” Penelope smirked and kissed her once more. “Let’s get you out of here now, yeah? I think the nurse has some crutches you can use for now.” 

Watching Josie try to open a door and shuffle through on her crutches before it fell shut was more amusing than it should’ve been. The girl was just so insistent on doing this one thing on her own despite Penelope continuously offering to hold the door open for her.

“I just want to see if I can do it.” Josie whined. After the third time the door smacked into her crutch, Penelope decided she had enough fun and made her promise that she wouldn’t try for another speed run.

Lizzie had been stuck calming their parents down on the phone while simultaneously warding off any other unwanted visitors to the nurses office when they found her. She had just clicked off a phone call when Josie rested a hand on her arm to get her attention. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Mom and dad are just freaked out that you’re going to be out of cheer for a while, they feel bad. Mom’s gonna call Maya’s parents and chew em out. I tried to talk her down but she was pretty pissed.” Lizzie rolled her eyes and huffed. “Ready to go?” Josie nodded but still turned to Penelope. 

“Will you come over?” Penelope rode her motorcycle to school that morning so she couldn’t drive Josie home even if she wanted to. She didn’t want to risk Josie somehow falling off the bike or them losing a crutch midride. So, she squeezed Josie’s hand and smiled. “Of course. I’ll meet you guys at your place after I stop by my house, I’m sure your parents will want to talk to you first anyways.”

“Oh! Can you get that laffy taffy? The one from the store by your house?” She brought Josie’s hand up to her lips and pressed a kiss to it. 

“Of course. See you later? Lizzie, any requests?” Baby steps.

The blonde rose a questioning brow and hesitated for a moment before speaking. “Anything with caramel. It’s my one weakness.”

“You say the same about guys with dimples.” Josie quipped. 

++

“I’m going to wring that womens neck!” Jo’s screech filtered through from the kitchen. Penelope turned her head to see the older woman pace back and forth in the mirror that reflected from the living room. Josie had fallen asleep half an hour into the true crime documentary she begged Penelope and Lizzie to watch. She knew the moment an arm was thrown over her waist and Josie snuggled her head into the crook of her neck that it was game over. Lizzie was sprawled out on the couch adjacent to them, munching on the bag of candy Penelope brought over. From the quiet little snores that spilled from Josie, the girl wasn’t waking up any time soon. 

“Honey, I’m going to need you to pick a fight. We won’t be able to afford suing them AND your bail if you go over there and start a fight.” Alaric said with a hint of sarcasm.

“Don’t you _honey_ me, I have a right to be angry! That little brat has been hurting our daughter! I don’t understand why you aren’t as angry as me.” Lizzie caught her gaze from across the couch and Penelope pressed her lips together, suddenly feeling very awkward and out of place. Instead she focused her attention on tracing circles on the small of Josie’s back. 

“Sweetie, we’ll sort all of this out, okay? Josie’s alright. Lizzie said the girls talked things out, just calm down okay. We’ll meet up with the Machados if you want.” Their voices gradually died out as Alaric managed to calm down his wife and weirdly enough, that was when Josie woke up. She pushed her body up against Penelope’s and stretched an arm over her head. In the process she accidentally knocked her bad leg against the ottoman and hissed. 

“You okay?” Penelope whispered to her. Concern filled her gaze and Josie smiled through her cringe. 

“Yeah, just kinda forgot about it. Do you think you can help me upstairs to my room? The couch is killing me.” 

“What happened to ‘please can we watch this doc? I’ve been dying to see it since it came out’, Josie?” Lizzie remarked through a mouthful of caramel. Josie just rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at her sister. 

“I had a long day, Liz. We’ll just have to rewatch it another time. Pen?” The raven haired girl got to her feet first and held out her hands for Josie to take. They passed by the kitchen on the way up so Josie could let her parents know that she was moving upstairs. Alaric gave a particularly harsh glare at Penelope that she was tempted to return with equal intensity but opted _not_ to piss him off. Jo interrupted the moment with a quick, “Door stays open. I’ve got eyes everywhere.” 

Getting Josie up the stairs when she refused to let Penelope carry her was hard to watch. Josie gripped both the railing and Penelope’s hand with a crazy amount of strength that she made a mental note to ask Josie if she ever considered power lifting. She’d be good at it. 

Finally, Penelope got Josie settled on her bed and quickly ran around to the other side. She slid in behind the brunette, wrapping her arms around the girl’s waist so she could pull her back flush against her front. When she heard a content sigh leave Josie’s lips, she couldn’t help the smile that tugged at her lips. She pressed a lingering kiss to Josie’s shoulder and snuggled close. “Comfortable?”

“Yes, I could stay here forever. Nighty night, don’t let me oversleep okay? I just want a quick nap” 

“Okay.” 

One of Josie’s hands came to rest on top of Penelope’s and interlaced their fingers together. “You’re the best.”

Just a few seconds later, she recognized the slowed rise and fall of Josie’s abdomen that told her she had fallen asleep. And when the cute little snores she adored so much started trickling out, a realization dawned on Penelope then. A realization that had been in front of her face for who knows how long. The weight of it scared her like crazy and Penelope felt that uncomfortable swoop low in her belly. It was scary but, it didn’t have to be right? 

It was inevitable, she knew that the first time she spoke to Josie. Then again when Josie ate a burger nearly the size of her head just to prove Penelope wrong. She definitely felt it at the planetarium when Josie looked at her with so much vulnerability in her eyes and it hurt. And again every time they kissed. Again each time she feels Josie burrow herself closer to Penelope when they lie next to each other. There were so many little moments that built up this feeling inside of Penelope that she should’ve just _known._

She had fallen hard for Josie. No, not just that. 

She loved her.

And that scared her to death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the wait! This chapter took a while for me to write because I wasn't too sure where I wanted it to go since I intend to end it within the next two(?) chapters. I've also been an emotional wreck because I marathoned The Last of Us 2, season 1 of The Walking Dead game, Hamilton and just personal stuff. IYKYK.
> 
> Be honest, let me know what you all thought about that little Maya bit. I wanted to write more fluff but figured I should throw in some plot because hey, that's a thing. I hope I managed to portray Maya's point of view properly and if you're confused, I'd be happy to clarify. Tbh, the whole Maya bit kinda came out of nowhere since all I wrote for this plot line was literally  
> \- josie hurt bc cheer  
> \- FLUFF GANG
> 
> If you've gotten this far in this absurdly long A/N, let me know what some of your favorite fics are! I feel like I've scraped the barrel for posie, clexa and supercorp, but there's always the chance I've overlooked fics so lmk! Love ya'll :D


	17. That We Never Really Owned As Ours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Picture this.
> 
> You're me, laying in bed relaxing, reading watching TV, etc, just chilling.
> 
> Until you realize it's been a week+ since you last updated your fics.
> 
> Apologies!

Penelope has endured a lot of pain in her life, both physical and emotional. She endured the pain of losing her dad, the cut that gave her her scar, motorcycle incidents, you name it. Her tolerance for pain is fairly high now and she could probably take a punch to the face and not even flinch at this point. But none of that pain measured up to the  _ burn  _ of accidentally snorting orange juice up your nose upon hearing the following string of words leave Josie’s mouth.

“Do you not want to have sex with me?” 

Luckily it was just the two of them eating breakfast at Josie’s dinner table. Her parents were already off to work and Lizzie left early for a cheer meeting, probably so she could give a lecture on ‘team spirit’ and ‘no one likes a two faced bitch’. They’d heard a little snippet right before she left.

A short nap turned into an overnight sleepover where Penelope had to sleep on the couch downstairs while Josie remained in her room. But that didn’t deter Josie from making her promise to sneak back up once her parents fell asleep. She greeted Penelope with a heated kiss and wandering hands that made her whole being feel like it was on fire. 

It took every ounce of willpower to pry Josie’s hands off her ass and wrap them around her shoulders instead. She had to rack her brain for a good thirty seconds to come up with an excuse when in reality, she had been ready to jump Josie’s bones months ago.

_ “..Babe, your parents and Lizzie are just down the hall. Let me cuddle you back to sleep before I have to sneak back downstairs, okay?”  _

Now, with a nose full of orange juice and a face as red as a tomato, making eye contact with Josie was suddenly a hard task. “W-What?” She finally croaked out after rushing to the kitchen sink to clean herself. 

Josie leaned against the sink, arms crossed and eyes amused despite the frown on her lips. She handed a paper towel to Penelope when prompted and when Penelope looked up again, her expression changed. The frown remained but the rest of her features softened. “Do you not want to have sex with me? Are you.. Not attracted to me that way?” 

Oh.

“Is this about last night?” 

Josie’s eyes were quick to glance away, hands fidgeting once more as she paced back and forth in the kitchen. Penelope let herself stand at the sink to watch her movements. The way her brows knitted together in confusion, her bottom lip stuck between her teeth and gaze fixed to the floor. “Josie?” She tried again. 

When she didn’t get a response, she made her way over to the girl and took her hands in hers. She ducked her head in order to catch her eye, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Earth to Josie?”

“I just..” The brunette began but quickly stopped herself. She led Penelope over to the couches and sat them now, still close enough that their knees touched. Penelope wanted to smile at the little sentiment. “I’m just gonna say it before I lose my nerve. You were never one to shy away from sex, we both know that. And I just can’t help but let it get to my head that maybe you don’t want me in that way? We’ve been dating for a while now and you haven’t made any moves or insinuated that you wanted to or even like me in that way. Is it me? My body? You didn’t even want to fool around or anything so I just.. Just tell me the truth, please?”

_ Oh. _

_ Man is she wrong. _

“Jojo..” Penelope breathed out. She had to take a moment to let the words sink in. Had all the times that Penelope unabashedly let her eyes rake over the girls figure gone unnoticed? Or the way she’d blush like crazy whenever Josie leaned over on days she wore tops that were just a  _ bit  _ too low cut?

From the way her girlfriend tried to pull her hands away and curl into herself in the way that she had come to know too well, she knew Josie took her reaction in the wrong way. She quickly tugged the girl back to her, only dropping her hands in favor of cupping the girls cheeks so there was no way Josie could avoid eye contact. 

“Look at me when I say this okay?” 

Big brown eyes stared back into hers, the crease between her brows still slightly evident. She could feel how tense Josie was as she awaited what Penelope was going to say next. It truly made her heart ache at how worried she looked and she knew then that she had to choose her words carefully. She wanted to make sure to convey her feelings on the matter clearly. To let her know that Josie was so much more than all the people she’s been with in the past. They couldn’t even hold a candle to her. She wanted to tell her how Josie makes her feel things that she never thought she’d have the pleasure of experiencing and it made her feel crazy. 

“I’ve wanted to have sex with you since we first met.” 

_ What the fuck, Park? _

Not exactly what she anticipated on saying but Josie’s eyes got so wide that maybe she didn’t fuck up as much as she thought. 

“I mean.. Okay, I was going to say something better than that I swear. I had it all running through my head and I panicked, but you know what I mean.” She said with a sheepish smile. “Yeah, I’ve never shied away from sex before. If I’m being honest, there have been times where I don’t even know the person's name before I get into their pants and I didn’t care to even after.” One hand slid down to lace their fingers together, the other continued to cup her cheek. “But with you, I don’t want to fuck up. I don’t want to rush into things because I want to experience it all with you. I want to take it slow and make sure that our first time is amazing... and doing it in hushed whispers in the middle of the night with your whole family home isn’t exactly what I pictured.”

That seemed to ease Josie’s worries as the tensions in her shoulders deflated. She reached out to take Penelope’s hands in hers, leaning forward to bury her nose in her neck and groaned. Penelope brought their entangled hands up to kiss them while the other went to massage Josie’s scalp soothingly. 

Something muffled came from Josie that made her lean back just slightly, but the girl wouldn’t budge. “Care to repeat?”

“I said I feel like an idiot,” Josie pushed Penelope so that she was lying on her back, her body sprawled on top of hers. “I’ve been killing myself with thoughts that you weren’t attracted to me in that way and I was some kind of sexless being. It didn’t help when you were so adamant about not touching me last night… I would’ve let you touch my boob.” 

A hearty laugh burst from her lips almost causing her to fall over. Somehow, she managed to wrap her arms around the brunette and give her a tight squeeze. She flipped them over so their positions were switched and smiled down at Josie. Her cheeks were flushed pink and there was the cutest knit between her brows. She peppered her face with kisses, her lips, cheeks, the knit between her brows and everywhere else. It wasn’t until Josie was giggling and squirming from her hold that she stopped only to press one last kiss that made her head spin. “I think we both know that we wouldn’t be able to stop at just light boob touching, babe.”

“And you’re not an idiot. What you are, is incredibly cute but  _ oblivious _ . If you really thought that I wasn’t physically attracted to you, then I’ll definitely make more of a show when I check you out. With your consent, of course. Ah-- but I don’t want to make you feel like a piece of meat or feel objectified though. So, maybe that’s not the best idea. What if I just, I don’t know, do more little touches? Or actually that might not be it, how about--” Penelope continued to ramble until she realized that Josie was just staring at her with that damn glint in her eye again. How was it possible for someone's eyes to  _ actually  _ sparkle?

“What?”

“You’re so cute when you ramble, you know that?” 

Penelope shrugged. “I’ve been told once or twice by this waitress at the diner. You should meet her. She’s this suuuper hot brunette with a smile that lights up the room. She even gave me a free burger.”

“Oh yeah?” Josie challenged with a lopsided grin that Penelope immediately recognized as one of her own. “She sounds amazing, should I be jealous?” 

“Definitely. She’s great, she makes me laugh and gives me free food. She even cuddles me and her kisses are pretty great too. I really lo--” Penelope stopped herself immediately with a bite of her tongue. Her eyes widened as she looked into Josie’s eyes but she did her best to mask her panic. “--Like her. Them. The kisses. And laughs. And… cuddles.” 

_ Oh my god. _

She couldn’t stop the inevitable feeling of panic flooding through her veins as her eyes traced every inch of Josie’s face in a last ditch attempt to ease her own mind. Maybe she didn’t catch the slip up? Maybe she just went momentarily deaf for that  _ split second  _ and didn’t hear anything? It was possible, right? It was way too soon in their relationship to be dropping the L-bomb and here she was, almost blurting it out like it was nothing. Her heart rate shot up and now she was worried her girlfriend could hear the embarrassingly loud thumping in her chest. She sat herself up then with Josie half in her lap and half on the couch. 

She knew this feeling all too well. Fight or flight. It was so much easier to just run away and not look back when something goes wrong and that was exactly what she wanted to do right now. To just pack up all her stuff and run home like the coward she was, but she couldn’t do that anymore. She had to just face it. 

_ Next time. _

Penelope could vaguely make out the sound of Josie’s voice and the feel of her insistent hold around her bicep. The point of contact between them tingled so much it almost felt like her skin was burning. Her gaze had been fixed on the coffee table in front of her since she realized her mistake, willing it to come to live and just swallow her whole. 

“Penelope..” 

Nervous eyes dart up to meet Josie’s when she finally snaps out of her internal monologue. She chews on her bottom lip thoughtfully while she thinks over what to say to Josie. The girl is looking at her with so much concern that her heart wants to explode.  _ I really do though. _

“Sorry. Kind of blanked out there. We should finish eating if we’re gonna make it to school on time, Jojo.” Leaving her a kiss on the cheek, she got up to walk back to their abandoned meal. With a quick glance over her shoulder, she was happy to see Josie slide back into her seat and resume eating. She knew from the little smile she gave her that she wasn’t going to push the issue. Somehow, it cemented the ball of anxiety in her gut instead of soothes it. Josie knew what Penelope meant to say, she isn’t stupid and they’re both aware of it. And while Josie is more of the type to sit down and has things out then and there to get it out of the way, Penelope isn’t. She needed time to dwell on things and turn them over and over in her head. She needed to let the emotions she feels wash through her like water so she doesn’t make another stupid mistake. 

So Penelope smiled back and reached across to take her hand.

She fumbled through the rest of breakfast because she has to eat with her non-dominant hand.

++

“I have an issue.” 

“Oh, what a shocker.”

“Penelope with issues? Someone call the presses!”

Penelope looked at her two friends wondering how she could’ve possibly put up with their combined shit all these years. It helped that whenever Lexa got too intolerable, she could hand her off to Clarke and her attitude would snap right back. Hope on the other hand, just stayed intolerable because that’s just how Mikaelsons are.

“I’m serious.” Penelope tried again. The two girls stopped their stretching and finally turned their bodies to face her. School had ended two hours ago and after telling Josie that she’d be busy at the gym for a few hours, she hurried home to grab her things then set off to the gym. Things quickly went back to normal even after Penelope’s mini breakdown at breakfast. They finished their meal quickly and even laughed a little at Josie’s anecdotes about the knicknacks scattered throughout the kitchen. She was grateful that Josie was able to read Penelope so well at this point and opted to gloss over the little incident without argument. 

But Penelope knew that the conversation needed to be had soon. She just hoped she built up enough courage by then. 

“I almost told Josie I loved her.” Almost immediately, Lexa and Hope both cringed and grunted out a sound of discomfort. Penelope just nodded in agreement as she plopped herself down on her yoga mat and crossed her legs.

“Well do you?” Hope asked with a raise of her eyebrow. She rolled her eyes at the redhead and shrugged.

“Yeah. I do, but I wasn’t going to tell her yet. It’s too soon and I just..” She hesitated for a moment. Talking about her feelings was still kind of new to her and she still had some trouble letting it all out like word vomit. If she were around anyone else but Lexa and Hope, she probably would’ve just swallowed it back and changed the subject. “Don’t I look kinda stupid falling for a girl that had no trouble blowing me off?” 

To her left, Lexa blew a rather loud raspberry that earned them some interesting looks from fellow gym goers. Penelope just stared back at them with a challenging look. “You’re really still hung up on that, Pen?” 

She shrugged again, her fingers fraying the ends of one of her shoelaces. “Sometimes. Every time things start going okay, I start to wonder about it. Like I’m just constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.” Spending all her time daydreaming did wonders for her mental health. She thought over all of her faults which, at first, were terrible. She didn’t want to be hurt again. She didn’t want to open herself back up to potential heartache. There were  _ so  _ many things that could go wrong in this scenario. 

She could tell Josie that she loved her and she’d laugh.

She could tell Josie and she’d say no. Or she’d laugh, say no, and call for the camera crew to come out from the bushes like in that show she watched growing up. 

“Sometimes it’s worth the risk, Penelope.” Lexa started. “Do you remember when Clarke and I first started dating? When she was with that guy she was hot and cold with?” 

She did. It was difficult for Clarke to commit at the beginning of their relationship. She was dating this dude that desperately needed a haircut with a smile that girls either loved or just made you straight up uncomfortable. For a long time she was hung up on the fact that they were possibly meant to be despite her budding feelings for Lexa. It wasn’t until Lexa made this big proclamation of love and gave her an ultimatum that things changed. Clarke finally realized that her relationship with Finn had run its course and no matter how hard she tried to make it work, it just wasn’t meant to be.

It was a long, tortuous time for all of them. Penelope and Hope tried to talk Lexa into moving on multiple times. They tried to tell her that the amount of heartache and nights spent crying herself to sleep wasn’t worth it and that she’d find someone else that would love her the way she deserved to be loved.

Thank goodness she didn’t listen. 

“I was scared just like you were. I was scared that loving someone like Clarke would only end in heartbreak. It totally could’ve too. I mean, we’re pretty different. She’s older, our interests don’t always align and we were just overall at different places in our lives. But I would rather have had the experience to love her than not at all. Being able to finally tell her that was worth everything.”

“--And,” Hope chimed in as she leant over to rest her head on Penelope’s shoulder. “We only have a few more years before we’re not allowed to make stupid decisions anymore. It won’t be deemed acceptable, so.. Just tell her, okay? I can practically guarantee you she feels the same.”

That.

That’s why she puts up with them.

++

She gave herself a time limit. Sometime within this week, she was going to tell Josie that she loved her. And what more fitting way to do it than to use her black card (bill to be graciously sent to her mother) to rent out an extravagant townhouse by the lake, take her out to dinner and whatever else happened in that movie that she ironically watched with Rose.

Rose didn’t need to know how much she actually enjoyed it though.

Just as she was beginning to finalize the house reservations and car rental, her phone rang. It was a specific ringtone that she set so she knew whether or not to bother checking her phone. It also just happened to be the default blaring alarm. 

“Yes, mother?” Penelope greeted with a sigh. 

“ _ I haven’t even spoken yet and you are already sighing,”  _ Her mother’s voice filtered through. She sounded tired, which she almost always was whenever they spoke. But there was also something weird about her tone, almost like she was.. nervous? “ _ I called you to let you know that I’m flying in tomorrow night so I would appreciate it if you were home when I arrive. We have to talk. _ ” 

She rolled her eyes, already running all the possible excuses she could take up so that she wouldn’t have to be home when she arrived. She opened her mouth to speak but her mother beat her to it. 

“ _ Please. It’s very important.” _

_ Is she actually begging? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been thinking for the longest time on how and where I wanted to end this fic since there's only a few chapters left. Luckily my brain decided to have an epiphany at 3am just as I was falling asleep on how the rest of the story will go. Yay brain!


	18. And If Our World Comes Tumbling Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Josie's POV :) I apologize for any mistakes, my brain cells have left the building.

Happiness wasn’t enough to describe how Josie felt after the planetarium date. The warmth that bundled in the pit of her gut and gradually spread to the tips of her fingers when Penelope kissed her stupid was dizzying. Seeing the sparkle in her eyes under the stars when she saw the hot chocolate made all her hard work so worth it. 

Words couldn’t begin to describe how grateful she was to be given a second chance to love Penelope. Getting to hold her hand whenever she wanted was great. Getting to kiss her just to see the tips of her ears turn pink was sweeter than any candy she ever tasted. The days following the planetarium date had Josie on cloud nine. She sent good morning and goodnight texts to Penelope often and in exchange, she got what she could only hope to be flustered responses from the awkward wording of her texts. 

Josie didn’t think she could fall for Penelope any more until she offered to pamper her. The hopeful glint in her eye and the way she nervously chewed at her bottom lip while she awaited Josie’s response…

She felt her heart melt into her stomach at that moment. 

With every gentle touch and soft kiss Penelope gave, it only made her feel guiltier at how sooner they could’ve been doing this if she just hadn’t been so hot and cold in the beginning. Her belly swooped every time she thought about how much more they missed out on or what they could’ve been doing instead. If she had  _ just  _ gotten her head out of her ass and went for it. She talked about this feeling multiple times with Lizzie, surprisingly. 

_ “I just… I can’t believe I got so lucky. Lucky that she gave me another chance and that I get to be the one that’s her girlfriend. She’s so…” _

_ “Oh my god,” Lizzie gaped, eyes wide and mouth ajar. The slightest hint of a smile on her face as she looked over her sister and shook her head in disbelief. She flopped backwards onto Josie’s mattress and sighed. “My sister’s in love with Satan.”  _

_ “I know-- Wait, what?” _

It took Josie laying in bed and staring at her ceiling all night for it to finally sink in. It took another half hour of staring at a picture of her and Penelope on her phone from the pamper day for it to finally register in her mind. She thought about all the butterflies that just never wanted to settle when she was in her presence. She thought about how no matter what room she was in, her eyes would always look for her. Even the fact that she actually  _ liked  _ to drink her coffee black even though it tastes so bitter. Or how to everyone else, Penelope was this big bad rebel that no one wanted to pick a fight with, with the exception of Lizzie that is. 

But to Josie, she was just a big softie.

She especially loved the days when she had a late shift and Penelope would sit in the diner  _ sometimes _ doing homework but usually just watching her with a little smile.

Josie was in love with Penelope. She loved Penelope so ridiculously much she wanted to shout it from the rooftops. 

Her only regret from her pamper day was that she didn’t talk Penelope into getting into the bath with her.  _ And not saying those three words.  _ While she didn’t necessarily  _ push  _ for it, she did notice the way Penelope’s eyes traced over her body more than once. It was just wishful thinking that she thought the girl would’ve been bold enough to offer, and maybe a little bit of hope. What she was grateful for though, was Penelope’s massage skills. More than once did she allow herself to moan maybe a bit too provocatively just to see her reactions. 

  
  


It was worth it every time her hands slipped or gripped her a bit too hard.

It took multiple pep talks over tubs of Ben & Jerry’s with Lizzie for her to fully muster up the courage to  _ decide  _ to tell Penelope her feelings. 

_ “Josette! You have got to be joking if you’re telling me that after all that, you’re just not gonna tell that girl that you love her. I will slap you right now and drag you over to her big ass house myself.” _

The pep talks were more Lizzie beating the sense into her until she finally agreed.

Josie spent so many nights just picturing how she would tell her. Should she go all out? Lay a trail of roses leading up to a romantic date spot, look into her eyes over a candle light dinner as she tells her she loves her. Or maybe they’ll just be lounging around at one of their houses one afternoon and when Penelope says something witty, she’ll just let it slip. 

When Penelope slipped up the morning after she spent the night, Josie swore her heart exploded. Immediately she knew that she was ready to return the sentiment and spend the following minutes peppering her girlfriend’s face with kisses, but the panic in Penelope’s eyes said otherwise. She bit back her response in favor of just staying quiet. The two of them had spent more than enough time together now for her to easily recognize Penelope’s tells and the girl was clearly frazzled. Her hands were fidgety, eyes continuously darting around the room while she rambled; she hadn’t meant to say it. 

For a second, Josie felt her heart drop. The thought of Penelope not actually meaning it and it being just a slip of tongue flashed in her mind briefly but she didn’t let the thought marinate for too long. She could tell from the little smiles Penelope would give her every time they locked eyes that that wasn’t the case. She had a strong feeling that the two of them were more alike than they thought when it came to love, but choosing to keep quiet about her feelings for Penelope in that moment was one of the hardest things she had to do. But what she had with Penelope wasn’t something she wanted to risk, so she decided to continue at her pace. 

++

Scratch that. Choosing _not_ to tell Penelope how much she loved her every second of every day was absolute torture. Multiple times a day, she would catch Penelope just watching her. Whether it be when she was doing homework or just daydreaming, her girlfriend always had a little smirk and the glint of affection in her eyes. And each time she had to bite back the urge to just spit those three words out, so instead she would kiss her until her lungs were begging for air. She relayed this information over and over again to Lizzie who would just roll her eyes and turn away like she didn’t want to be subjected to it, but she still listened every time. 

It was a few days after Penelope’s slip up that Josie got a text from Penelope telling her that she couldn’t make it to the diner to keep Josie company. 

_ Pen: Mother’s in town so I gotta see what she wants. I’d much rather be with you at the diner though :( _

_ Josie: It’s just one night, I think you can live babe. _

_ Pen: Just because I can doesn’t mean I have to. _

_ Pen: Miss you already beautiful.  _

She didn’t know exactly when pet names had snuck into their daily vocabulary but she wasn’t opposed to it. She just relished in the way her stomach did backflips every time Penelope called her  _ babe  _ or  _ baby.  _ Seeing Penelope flush pink or look away shyly whenever Josie returned the favor was something she hoped she never took for granted. 

_ Josie: See you after? _

_ Pen: Please. _

Josie sighed. Being in the honeymoon phase of a relationship was hard. She wanted so badly to spend every waking moment with Penelope, learning her quirks, hearing her laugh and just talking to her. She could listen to Penelope talk about how to properly escape guard in jiu jitsu on loop if possible. Alas, today was just one of the few days that wouldn’t be spent together. 

While never said aloud, she knew that Penelope’s friends most likely missed her and would purposefully decline going over to her girlfriend’s house in favor of suggesting Hope and Lexa time. The decision sparked in Josie when Penelope had mentioned offhandedly one day that her friends joked about never hanging out together anymore. To Penelope it probably didn’t seem like a big deal, but Josie took it seriously. She never wanted to be  _ that  _ girlfriend that hogged all of their partner’s time, lord knows how she felt whenever Lizzie was off with her flavor of the month and ignoring her in the process.

She managed to occupy her time fairly well in her free time though. Cheer and shifts at the diner filled up most of her time while schoolwork filled the rest. She got ahead on assignments and readings for the week (study dates didn’t happen as often anymore because of this). Sometimes she’d even hang out with MG or Lizzie and on the super rare occasions, her parents.

Luckily to distract herself today, she picked up a double shift at the diner. School was canceled tomorrow giving them a three day weekend so it was acceptable for her to work into the night. She was going to miss seeing Penelope in the corner booth sipping on milkshakes and making goofy faces at her throughout her shift though. She got dressed for work quickly, smoothing out any wrinkles in her skirt and pulling her hair back into a tight bun. After going over her makeup for a few moments in the mirror, she left the house. 

Working at the diner was more enjoyable than most people would think. Her coworkers were easy to get along with, most of her regulars were sweet and free pancakes were a plus. The only downside she faced were the customers that would hit on her incessantly like their life depended on it. Before she would simply play along because it made for good tips, but after she began dating Penelope she started switching tables with one of the few male waiters who would happily agree to help. 

Upon entering the mostly empty diner, she was greeted loudly by her boss Chef from the back of the restaurant. 

“Josie! My favorite twin! How is your day, sweetheart?” Chef called out to her as she pushed through the swinging double doors with red tinted cheeks. Chef was the proprietor of the diner since it opened some odd years ago. A burly, olive-skinned man that stood at least a head taller than her, one arm littered with miscellaneous tattoos that made him look more frightening than he really was. To unruly customers, he was often mistaken as security. But to Josie, he was just a big teddy bear. He never told any of his employees his real name and just told them all to call him Chef. Some of the workers truly believed that was his actual name because of it. 

“Going okay so far, we’ll see how this double treats me.” Josie smiled at him as she placed her belongings into her locker. Chef leaned away from the grill and looked around the diner, one brow raised when he asked, “No Pencil today?” Josie bit back the laugh that always accompanied her hearing Chef’s odd nickname for Penelope and shook her head instead. It only took one instance of him hearing Josie say ‘Pen’ for him to grant her a new nickname. The shock in her expression when she realized Chef calling out, ‘ _ order up for Pencil! _ ’ was for her was priceless. Josie slid the plate of food in front of her girlfriend with an apologetic smile and a kiss on the cheek only for Chef to call out once more to a half full diner, ‘ _ Treat her right or I’ll snap you like one!’ _

Josie secretly liked to believe that Penelope liked the nickname and she just wouldn’t admit it. 

“Penelope’s spending time with her mom today but she might drop by after if you’re lucky.” She laughed again when Chef’s grin widened in excitement. 

“I do feel lucky today.” 

++

The first half of her shift was a breeze. It was relatively slow which meant she had time to read her book here and there in between tables and the customers she did get didn’t give her any grief. She saw a few friends come in to grab a bite to eat and chatted with them for a short while but never long enough that Chef had to reprimand her, not that he ever would. 

It was when she was wiping down a booth near the back of the restaurant that she began getting more nervous texts from Penelope.

_ Pen: My mother wants to have dinner at some fancy restaurant again. _

_ Pen: Like it turned out so well last time  _

Josie could practically feel the eye roll implied in the girl’s words and smiled. She stepped out of sight from some customers and typed back a quick reply.

_ Josie: I’m sure things will be fine. _

_ Josie: Eat something yummy for me x _

The reply was instant.

_ Pen: I’d pick a burger and a shake over all the h'orderves in the world. _

_ Josie: c:  _

The second half of her shift consisted of an oddly large crowd from the neighboring high school. It wasn’t uncommon for kids from other parts of town to show up at the diner but each time it happened, it still took Josie by surprise. Some of the students she recognized from football games or cheer camp. They were always cordial and nice to her while some were just indifferent. It wasn’t a surprise though, the neighboring high school was deemed ‘better’ in terms of academics and were their rivals in sports. 

Texts from Penelope gradually reduced by the hour until she had stopped responding entirely. Part of her was bummed that she didn’t have the words of her girlfriend to help get her through a grueling shift but she hoped dinner with her mother went well. While Josie’s relationship with her own wasn’t the best, she realized how lucky she was to have a relationship with her at all. It tore her apart knowing how rough things were for Penelope and her mother. She knew deep down just how much she craved her approval even if she would never admit to it. She knew that all she had ever wanted was to be loved by her mother but even that was too much to ask. 

How could you  _ not  _ love someone like Penelope? How could you not fall in love with the way her eyes light up each time something catches her interest or the way she nervously chews on the inside of her cheek? Every time she catches a glimpse of Penelope daydreaming and then the embarrassed way she presses her lips together to suppress a smile, Josie just melts inside. 

Ah crap. 

Work was supposed to  _ distract  _ her from thinking about her girlfriend but here she was... _ thinking about her girlfriend _ . She shook her head, a poor attempt to rid herself of any thoughts that weren't about work or the book she’d been reading that was tucked under the cash register. With a quick glance at the clock above the entrance, she made herself a cup of coffee and got back to cleaning tables for the third time that hour. 

++

When there was half an hour left in her shift she was greeted with possibly the most endearing sight ever. Muscle memory kicked in upon hearing the chime that signaled whenever someone entered the diner, her greeting just about ready to leave her lips when she looked up to see Penelope smiling at her. She was dressed to the nines, a black wide legged jumpsuit, stilettos that accentuated her legs, making her appear taller and...  _ is that a cape?  _ She openly ogled the green-eyed girl, lips parted and eyes wide as she took in the outfit. A lazy smile graced her features and it wasn’t until she tore her eyes away from the strikingly low dip of her neckline did she realize that Penelope was extremely drunk. 

“Jojo!!” Her cheeks were flushed red, darker than a blush and only focused on the apples of her cheeks, the telltale sign she learned from Penelope herself. She quickly looked around the diner, there were only a handful of customers spread throughout the restaurant so she quickly made her way over to pull Penelope into a kiss. Their lips met in a messy kiss, partly because of Josie’s poor trajectory and Penelope’s intoxication. She pulled away, an amused smile lining her lips as she tugged Penelope towards a booth. 

“This is a nice surprise. How’d you get here?” Josie said once they were seated next to each other. She had intended to sit opposite one another so she could unashamedly check her girlfriend out, but drunk Penelope meant clingy Penelope. Penelope leaned her arms on the table and dropped her head on top of them, turning to the side to look up at Josie. 

“They have these things called cars… And they take you places. Vroom vroom” Penelope smirked up at her. Josie rolled her eyes playfully and squeezed her knee. 

“Okay smartass,” Josie remarked. “Did you take a cab or something? Because clearly you’re drunk and I’m going to be very upset if you drove here, even if it was to see me.” 

Penelope blew a raspberry, now suddenly sitting up and leaning over to rest her chin on Josie’s shoulder. “Of course not. I took a cab. I  _ was  _ going to steal my mother’s driver but…” Her brows knitted together for a moment like she just remembered something and she huffed loudly. Shaking her head, she looked back up at Josie with a pout. “Are you not off yet? Just because I’m drunk doesn’t mean I can’t read time. My ability to read only goes away when I drink cognac and I did  _ not _ drink cognac.” 

Josie giggled at how serious Penelope looked much to her delight. The darker haired girl turned to nuzzle her head into the crook of Josie’s shoulder and let out a sigh. “You smell like french fries.” 

“Very charming, babe. You have a way with words.”

Penelope pulled back, looking almost offended with her eyes narrowed at Josie. 

“I  _ like  _ french fries. They’re the  _ best. _ ” 

“I know you do.” 

Penelope slumped in her seat now. Her arms lax at her sides and head leaning onto the back of the booth. “Are you done working yet? I want to go home and cuddle.” 

Josie looked up at the clock again and then to the kitchen where she made eye contact with Chef. It took a few seconds for the man to meet her eyes and when she gestured to the clock and Penelope, he nodded at her silent question. “Just let me get my things from the back and we’ll go, okay?” 

Penelope perked up immediately, sitting up straight in her seat and arms set on the table. “Okay!” 

The ride over to Penelope’s house was eventful. Penelope insisted that she be sat in the middle seat because she thought she would fall out of the car on the ride over. Despite this, she still leaned over Josie to point out the city’s lights at night. She pointed out every odd colored car she saw, restaurants that she’d been to and how every mattress store they saw was guaranteed being used to launder money. 

“I saw it on the internet, Jojo. Trust me.”

Getting Penelope  _ into  _ the house was the easiest part of the night. Everything else that came after was absolutely terrible. Trying to get her up the steps took nearly half an hour because Penelope was adamant about wanting to see if she could get herself up using only her arms. Then when she couldn’t manage that, it was backwards but with one arm. Another half hour later, they finally made it to her room. Josie helped take off her makeup which took longer than it should’ve because Penelope kept leaning into her touch with each wipe, effectively stopping the motion. Her heart stuttered for a moment at the end when Penelope thanked her with an overwhelming amount of adoration in her eyes.

Changing her clothes was a hassle too. They had to take frequent breaks in between articles of clothing because Josie would double over laughing when Penelope would wiggle her eyebrows and give her the  _ cheesiest  _ smolder.

“Jojo..” Penelope mumbled minutes later. They were now cuddling on Penelope’s bed with her girlfriend curled into her left side and TV playing some random show from her Netflix queue. 

“Penelope..” Josie smiled.

Penelope shuffled around until she was sitting up, legs underneath her and back to the TV. The tiniest pout was on her face and her eyes were soft. Without her usual face of makeup, the dark circles under her eyes were more noticeable yet Josie found that it made her look strangely more attractive. From the look in her eyes alone, Josie felt a weird twinge in the pit of her gut. A strike of fear shot through her and she suddenly felt worried about what Penelope was going to say next. Did something happen with her mom? Was something wrong with  _ her?  _

“Can we make s’mores?” 

Relief flooded through Josie like a tidal wave and a smile slowly tugged at her lips. She shook her head in disbelief before leaning in to kiss the pout away. “Of course, baby.” 

Josie watched as the cutest smile spread across Penelope’s features and grabbed her hand to tug her back downstairs. The both of them were dressed in pajamas, Penelope in a hoodie and shorts while Josie wore one of Penelope’s oversized shirts and soccer shorts. She helped the shorter girl grab all the ingredients from the cupboard while she dug out a small propane stove and set it on the coffee table by the couch. For a girl that was still mostly drunk, Penelope’s movements were precise. She still swayed just ever so slightly, but she managed to turn the fire on and even remembered to lay out a cover to protect the table.

However she still ended up letting her first marshmallow catch on fire because she was ‘ _ busy staring at my beautiful girlfriend _ ’. Josie switched out her marshmallow with a fresh one and kissed her temple. 

“You’re too cute.” 

Josie’s first bite of s’more tasted like heaven. She wasn’t embarrassed that a moan was uttered underneath her breath and immediately went in for another bite. Luckily Penelope was too busy literally _worshipping_ her s’more to pay Josie any attention. The girl was actually examining her s’more like it was an endangered species, holding just mere inches from her face and staring at the melted chocolate ooze from between the graham crackers. She finished her first one in two bites and was already starting her second one. 

A thought flashed through her mind then. This was the moment. 

The perfect timing. 

She took a moment to study her features, she wanted to remember every single detail about Penelope at this very moment. Penelope with melted chocolate smeared across her left cheek, some marshmallow stuck to the right corner of her mouth. Her dark curls were frizzy, her baby hairs sticking out every which way while the rest was pulled back into a messy ponytail. She could still smell the slightest hint of alcohol each time she leaned in close enough that would surely be replaced by the taste of s’mores now. 

She was nowhere near the epitome of beauty either. Her own hair wasn’t faring any better, the scent of the diner still lingering but strays falling out from her bun. The exhaustion from working a double along with school evident all over her face. 

Definitely a farfetch from what she envisioned. 

“I love you.” The words left her mouth easily. It felt a little weird to finally say it out loud but the relief she felt at finally saying it was euphoric. Like the world was lifted off her shoulders.

Penelope stopped midchew and stared at her, s’more long forgotten. There was a flicker in her eyes that told Josie that telling her in that moment wasn’t a mistake. After all, they both knew that the feeling was mutual but it wasn’t like Josie was  _ expecting _ her to say it back in that moment. She hoped she did though. 

When a few seconds passed and Penelope still hadn’t said anything, Josie decided to ramble.

“I do.. And I’ve been wanting to say it for a while but I was scared that it was too soon. Honestly, I knew I was going to fall for you that first time in the diner.” Josie took a breath and shrugged. “I wanted to say it the other day but I didn’t want to scare you. Gosh, there were  _ so  _ many times that I wanted to tell you but I wanted to wait for the right moment. I had this whole date planned out in my head, too.

I would take you out to a fancy restaurant or something, the kind where they give you hot towels or something like that. Over candle light too, and I’d give you flowers and tell you just how precious and amazing you are. I love you, Penelope. A lot.”

Josie felt a pang of worry now. Penelope was still just staring at her after putting her s’more on the coffee table. She watched as she focused her gaze on her hands, picking at some melted marshmallow stuck on her fingers.

Josie reached out to still her movements with one hand while the other tilted her chin up to meet her eyes. “Say something.. Please?”

A beat of silence that felt like it lasted eternity.

“My mother wants to move me to Belgium.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big apologies for the wait! I took some time off of writing bc mental health (booo), then fell into a blackhole from reading some fics that just... *clenches* hit different. But in a good way! Time really got away from me. I intended updating both of my fics much sooner but ended up hitting writers block after coming back to it. Theeeen, I spent way too much time trying to plan out chapters for my stories, got frustrated and just >:C for a while haha. Let me know your thoughts. I hope you all are doing well and taking care of yourselves :)
> 
> Penelope POV next chapter! We'll see what happened at dinner and my much loved, fluffy drunk Penelope thoughts.


	19. Don't Doubt Anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Penelope POV and the dinner.

Getting to see Josie to end the night was the only thing getting Penelope through the dinner with her mother. The second she read the message on her phone, an unsettling feeling fell over her like a blanket. Rarely did her mother ask anything of her, much less  _ beg.  _ So when she reluctantly agreed to yet  _ another  _ dinner meeting with Sabine, she knew she wasn’t going to end the night sober. 

She got dressed as slow as possible. Taking her time to perfect her makeup and make sure that no creases tarnished the perfect outfit she laid out. Halfway through her makeup, a knock sounded at the door. She looked up to see Rose lingering in the doorway, a warm smile gracing her tired features. 

“Hey sweetheart,” She stepped in to wrap her arms around Penelope’s shoulders in a tight hug. Penelope let herself melt into the older woman’s side, relishing in the warmth and comfort that those arms have provided her for so many years. 

“Hey.” 

They part just enough for their eyes to meet and immediately Rose’s brows furrow in disappointment. “You know I hate when you exaggerate your eyeliner like that. It takes away from your eyes.” Rose tuts before she takes a step out of her space. 

“The eyeliner makes my eyes  _ pop _ , Rose.” Penelope grins at her. Normally she would do her makeup a little more subdued, opting for just a cateye at the ends of her eyes instead of the largely exaggerated one that leaked just slightly into her waterline. She’d been told her glare would make even Medusa cower with this look. 

“They pop just fine on their own.” 

She chuckled when Rose just rolled her eyes and sat herself on the edge of Penelope’s bed. There’s something about her expression that only worsens the feeling in her gut. She doesn’t know if she should say something about it, poke and prod the older woman until she relents and tells her what’s wrong. She hates the idea of Rose being anything but happy and on any other day, she wouldn’t hesitate to offer the world and then some to fix things. 

But today is different. Today she’s scared that if she asks what’s wrong, Rose is going to tell her something she wished she didn’t hear. Her mind ran wild with the possibilities. 

_ I’m sick. _

_ I’m moving away. _

_ I’ll no longer be working here anymore. _

_ You’re on your own. _

“I have dinner with my mother tonight, otherwise I would’ve worn my usual face. Only special occasions for this look. I promise.” 

Rose seemed pleased with that but her smile faltered for a split second. Not too quick that Penelope didn’t catch it though. “Try not to drink too much tonight, yes? I worry about your liver with how much you consume sweetheart.”

Now it was Penelope’s turn for her smile to fall but she tried her best to flash Rose her best reassuring smirk. “I’m sorry.” 

Rose shook her head and immediately got up to wrap Penelope up in another hug. “Don’t be. I’ve been with you and your mother for many years, I can say with confidence that I understand the need for a stiff drink when around her. Just.. take it easy, okay? You’re still young and I would hate to see you drinking yourself away. I honestly would rather see you expressing yourself at that smelly gym you and the girls always go to.” 

“Is this you giving me permission to beat people up?”

A smirk. “Only if they deserve it.”

++

The one thing Penelope could always count on was her mother’s car service. No matter how short the distance or how late it was, she would always remember seeing the sleek black Cadillac rolling up to her house. Climbing into the backseat, she was happily greeted with a smile and cheesy joke from Ethan. Something that she found herself looking forward to at times, not that she’d ever tell him that. 

“What do you think of beards, Penelope?” 

Penelope quirked a brow and shrugged. “They’re cool. Why?”

“Just wondering. I used to hate facial hair… then it grew on me.” Ethan’s eyes immediately shot up to meet hers through the rearview and from the way they were squinting and crinkled at the ends, she knew he was grinning like an idiot. If it weren’t for the two shots of Jameson she gulped down before leaving the house, she would’ve scoffed and turned her attention to her phone. But alcohol and an empty stomach was never a good mix so Penelope just rolled her eyes and laughed. 

“Keep your day job, Ethan.” 

The rest of the drive over was quiet with only the radio filling the car. She was tempted to send Josie another text or even call her, but she knew that the girl was in the middle of her shift at the diner and shouldn’t be bothered. She debated closing her eyes for a quick power nap in hopes of it giving her the much needed energy to power through dinner, but before she could decide she felt the car slow to a stop. 

“We’re here,” Ethan said as he put the car in park. He met her eyes in the rearview and smiled. “Good luck.” Penelope hummed in acknowledgement and climbed out of the car. It took all of two seconds after her entrance to the restaurant and a glance to the hostess for her to be guided to her mother’s table. 

Sabine was already seated, a glass of wine placed right in front of her. She was dressed elegantly as usual, not a single hair out of place. Her expression was neutral from afar and stayed that way throughout their greetings. Conversation started with small talk like usual. Sabine inquired about school while Penelope made short one worded replies or noncommittal grunts in response. 

“Let’s cut to the chase,” Her mother finally said once their main courses arrived. Penelope glanced up with a mouthful of overpriced salmon and gestured for her to continue. 

“I’m moving,” Sabine said simply, like it was a comment about the weather. 

“..To?” Penelope asked hesitantly. 

“Europe. Belgium, to be specific. Chris has been offered a job to oversee a company abroad and I’m going with him. We’ll be leaving in a little over two months.” A beat of silence. “And so are you.” 

She choked on her food then, quickly grabbing a napkin to cover her mouth so she could recover. “ _ Excuse me? _ Why do  _ I  _ have to move?” 

“Penelope, you’re still young. I’m not going to leave you alone here--”

“--It’s not like you haven’t done that before!”

“That’s  _ not  _ the same and you know it,” Her mother hissed. “I was still in the country. I came home to see you as often as I could to check on you. I was always a short flight away. If I’m on the opposite side of the world, I can’t do that. I know that I haven’t been the greatest mother to you but I’ve always tried.” 

Penelope scoffed. “Do you really think that just because you fly home to see me for five minutes out of your day that that counts as parenting? The only times that you’ve ever flown home was because work was involved. Not once have you ever done it just for me.” 

It was bold of her to pick a fight in the middle of the restaurant like this but neither woman cared. They were both fueled by anger and pent up emotions that their words were flowing freely now. 

“What’s the real reason, mother? You’ve always been levelheaded, never making a rash decision like moving your life abroad so quickly. Just spit it out.” 

Confliction flickered across Sabine’s expression. Her brows knitted together and lips pressed into a thin line as she dropped her gaze to the table in front of her. Penelope stayed silent, desperately waiting for her mother to just  _ fucking say it.  _ But when her mother looked up at her next, her eyes met with something over her shoulder and widened. 

“Chris..” Penelope’s head swiveled around to see the man walking towards them. He was dressed in a suit like usual, starchy white dress shirt and all. The overwhelming stench of his cologne followed in his wake. If they were in a cartoon, Penelope was certain that there’d be squiggly lines emitting from his body.

“Dear. Penelope,” Chris said with a nod to Penelope before turning his eyes to Sabine. 

Penelope’s gaze flickered back and forth between the two. From her mother’s now rigid posture and pointed look to the desperation in Chris’s eyes and body language. She watched as Chris reached out to take her mother’s hand in his only to look down at it with a frown. “You’re not wearing it?” 

Her mother quickly retracted her hands with a nervous glance in Penelope’s direction. She felt her heart drop. “Honey, I told you that I wanted to have dinner with Penelope alone.” 

“Tell me what?” She said in a low voice. But neither of them were listening. They just continued on with their conversation.

“--And I told you that I needed to be here. I’m a part of this family too, Sabine.”

“And I’ve told  _ you _ , that I know what I’m doing. Now go.” 

“No.”

Woah woah. Wait a fucking second.  _ Family?! _

Penelope slammed her hand on the table, rattling everything on top of it. Two pairs of wild eyes trained on her along with some from neighboring tables. “I’m right  _ here.  _ So fucking tell me. What the hell is going on? What are you talking about, ‘part of this family too’?” 

Her mother gave Chris one last pleading look but he didn’t acknowledge it. He just moved to stand next to Sabine with one arm around her and stared right at Penelope as he opened his stupid mouth.

  
  


“Your mother and I are engaged. I know this may be a surprise to you but we’re in love and we want us to be a family--” 

“A  _ family? _ ” Penelope said in disbelief. She looked to her mother expecting to see  _ anything  _ that would tell her that this was all a joke. A lie to get her to do something. 

But there was nothing. 

“You’ve gotta be fucking--”

“Penelope, language—“

She looked up at him, stunned. To his credit, he held her gaze albeit weakly. “You don’t like my language? Fuck you.” Now looking at her mother, she gestured for her to speak. “I want to hear it from you. Not him. Speak.”

All her life, she never once remembered seeing her mother so…. defeated. Her shoulders were slumped, eyes sad and a frown etched on her face. The woman that she once looked up to as a role model because no one else could match the way she commanded a room with ease, power and authority oozing from her pores like it was nothing. 

“We’re engaged. We have been for a few weeks now. He proposed, I said yes and then was offered the job in Belgium. I…” she hesitated. “We need a fresh start, Penelope. This city… there’s too many old wounds. Memories that only remind us of heartbreak. I love Chris and whether you want to acknowledge it or not, I love you too. I want us to begin anew and be a family with this fresh start. I want to be the mother that I should’ve been for you.

“Before, I’ve let you live in our home as if you were a grown adult out on your own. You had the freedom to do whatever you liked because I was too consumed with work to be a parent. But that stops now. I’m moving  _ us  _ to Belgium with Chris.”

She didn’t know what to make of her mother’s words.  _ Be a family?  _ Her heart yearned to hear those words, it did. She only ever wanted that. When her dad died, she thought that just  _ maybe _ , it could’ve been enough to bring them back together. 

But it only pushed them further apart.

She dealt with her grief without her. If it hadn’t been for her friends and Rose, it might’ve consumed her completely. The ache in her heart was so strong after the loss of her dad and all she wanted in that moment was for her mom to tell her that she’d be okay. That  _ they  _ would be okay,  _ they  _ would get through it  _ together _ . Instead, her mother spent late hours at the office and Penelope cried herself to sleep in an empty home.

Sabine was smart. She was capable, able to make sense of even the most complicated problems and find a solution to any situation. She had an impeccable knack for remembering numbers or little details either about people or work. 

Yet, why was it that she couldn’t remember this one thing?

“You don’t get to do that.” Penelope was starting to sound like a broken record at this point. She dipped her head to catch her mother's eyes, identical vibrant green hues boring into her own. “So, just because  _ you  _ want it now, we’re going to be a family? Just because you found a new boy toy to keep your bed warm at night and play the role you decide that you want to play house? I’m not a fucking  _ pawn _ in your game, mother. I’m your daughter. You can’t clock in and out of being a parent at your convenience. I shouldn’t have to keep telling you this but you keep doing this.” She hated the way her voice cracked at the last word but she quickly regained her composure. 

“Why couldn’t have you felt this way when dad died? When I  _ needed  _ you? Do you know how many times I wished that you would just…  _ be  _ there for me? We were a family. You just didn’t want it.” Green eyes bore into her mother’s in a harsh glare before darting up to meet Chris’ with unwavering anger. “I’m glad that you make my mother happy, but don’t think that that automatically makes me like you.” 

“I know what I’ve done wrong. I’m not proud of it and I’m trying to fix things now, Penelope. This move is the first step. Don’t you realize how great of an opportunity this is? A new place with new memories to be made. Haven’t you ever wanted to just move to a place where no one knows you? Everywhere I go in this city, I feel pain. You weren’t the only one that lost him too, Pen.” 

She felt her body go stiff. She knew that, of course she knew that. 

But while her mother got to go off and distract herself with work, Penelope was left to her own devices. She  _ at least  _ had something to get her through her grief.. So why did she still feel a pang of guilt as she looked into her mother’s eyes? Guilt that not once did Penelope try to imagine what it felt like to lose the love of your life. It was hard to picture it in all honesty. 

She barely had any memories of when they were a happy family, gradually losing whatever remnants she had by the day because the negative ones were so much more permanent in her mind. Yet every now and then would be reminded of little glimpses she saw. Her dad giving her mother a foot rub after a long day at work, her parents laughing as they held each other in their arms. 

Like it was supposed to be. 

Like it should’ve been.

Suddenly Penelope couldn’t meet her mother’s eyes at that moment. Emotions ran through her like a truck and she didn’t know what to think. She felt guilty and sad that for so many years she blamed her issues on a bad mother, but she was equally at fault. She was a bad daughter. In her mind, she thought she was justified every time she got a good grade or attended a work event. 

It was her mother putting in the effort all this time. She didn’t  _ have  _ to see Penelope every time she was in town. Hell, she didn’t even have to tell her! Sabine could’ve easily not said anything and been in and out of the city without her ever knowing. Meanwhile, her attempts to bond were only surface level. Playing the difficult child each time her mother wanted to see or talk to her. Spit nothing but sarcastic remarks whenever her mother tried to talk to her. 

The fight was slowly starting to leave her then with resignation making a home in its place instead. The drinks she consumed were muddling her senses and throwing her emotions all out of whack. There were still fragments of anger lingering in her somewhere, she could feel it like a spark that she tried her best to push down. Slowly, she looked up to meet her mother’s gaze. “I don’t want to move.” 

Sabine’s eyes softened. “We need this, Penelope.”

“I need my friends,” Penelope shook her head. In one swift move, she downed the rest of her wine and let out a heavy sigh. “They’ve been there for me through everything. I… I have too much here to just leave. I need to stay here.” 

“You can make new friends,” Chris chimed in then and immediately, Penelope felt the flare of anger rise up. “You’ll be enrolled in the finest academy Belgium has to offer, I’ll make sure of it. There’ll be plenty of people there for you to be friends with, or more.” For only having met once, Penelope already managed to tune out his voice fairly well on command. What he said bothered her but what really took it over the edge was that he fucking  _ winked.  _

She narrowed her eyes up at him and tilted her head to the side. “What are you yapping about, Christopher?” 

Chris’ eyes widened and he frantically glanced between the two women, clearing his throat. “I.. Er… Well, I’m only assuming you’d dump that girlfriend of yours once you move. Long distance is hard. There’s no point in having something weighing you down like that when you’re on the other side of the world. You could easily--”

“I think you should shut the fuck up, Christopher.” Penelope spat. “Josie isn’t just some _ thing _ , she’s a real person. If you think I’d dump her that easily for a quick hookup, you’re even stupider than you look.” 

“Penelope!” Sabine gasped. “Do not do this right now. This isn’t about him.” 

She scoffed in disbelief. Any and all guilt that riddled her body previously was gone. The spark of anger caught fire to the rest of her body, making the blood pounding in her ears deafening. “This is  _ completely  _ about him! He’s the only reason you want me to uproot my life to Europe!” 

“Because I chose to! I am more than capable of making my own decisions, Penelope.” Sabine shot back with the same amount of intensity. 

Realization dawned on her then.  _ Of course. How could I be so foolish?  _ “You know, mother,” She laughed humorlessly. Just like that, things reverted back to the way they were. An angry and pouty Penelope brooding about a mother that didn’t care for her. She shook her head slowly so the budding taste of bile at the back of her throat didn’t win the fight. “You almost got me there. For a second, I was starting to blame myself for everything. For the lack of relationship between us after dad died. But you know what,” She threw the napkin from her lap onto the plate in front of her. “It’s still you. Since the beginning, you never chose me. You didn’t  _ want  _ me from the start, you didn’t  _ want  _ me after I was born…” The back of her eyes began to sting with tears but she swallowed them back. She couldn’t let her voice waver, couldn’t let the weakness show.

“You still didn’t want me after everything. You only  _ needed  _ me for this. So I could complete your happy new family, right? But I’ll only ever be a stain on your life. A reminder of what you’ve lost and the mistakes you made. This,” A shaky hand shot up to touch the divet of her left eyebrow. “Will never go away no matter how perfect you try to build the rest of your life.” 

Standing up, she didn’t bother to look at the people in front of them. Instead, she turned on her heel, leaving only the sounds of a chair scraping across the restaurant floor followed by her retreating footsteps for them.

++

The journey to see Josie was all a blur. After she left the restaurant, she found refuge at a nearby bar. One drink turned to three until eventually she lost count. In her drunken stupor, she managed to fumble through her phone to call a cab to take her to the diner. She had an overwhelming desire to see her girlfriend and  _ nothing  _ was going to stop her. 

Not even the weird dips on the sidewalk that almost catches her heel or the way her cape got stuck in the car door. The fight was worth it once she saw her. The way her eyes lit up and smiled so wide Penelope thought she was blinded by her beauty. 

_ It was just the fluorescent lights. _

“Belgium?”

Penelope finally met her eyes, soft and vulnerable. “Would your love reach me in Belgium?... Because mine would.” Josie’s eyes widened at her words, the chocolate brown hues beginning to water at the corners. Penelope quickly reached up with both hands to cup the sides of her face and touched their foreheads together. “Noo… Don’t cry, please? If you start then I’ll start and I’m everything but that type of drunk.”

“You love me.” Josie said quietly as more of a statement than a question. She could feel Josie’s lips brush against hers ever so slightly as she spoke and it spawned goosebumps up and down her arms. 

“Is that okay?” Penelope pulled back enough so she could see her girlfriend’s face and gave a lopsided smile. “I only want yours if you take mine in return. Well.. It belongs to you whether you want it or not--” 

She was cut off when Josie surged towards her lips with a kiss. It was messy, teeth knocking and lips mashed together haphazardly but they didn’t care. Desire and want fueled their veins as they let themselves get lost in the moment. A few minutes passed before the two broke apart, chests heaving and lips kiss swollen. 

“..Does that mean yes?”

“Yes,” Josie giggled and pressed a few more kisses to Penelope’s lips. 

“Definitely yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me a while because I wanted to make sure it was perfect, but I ended up writing most of it wine drunk because it was stressing me out. I envisioned the dinner going a different way in terms of Penelope's emotions but sometimes the characters just tell you what they want instead so. 
> 
> If this chapter seems jumbled, I apologize. Quarantine and all that is to blame. 
> 
> Stay safe and stay sane!
> 
> Also if you hadn't noticed, I did put a chapter cap on this fic. We're nearing the end folks. I did plan for it to end at an even 20 but depending on how the next chapter goes, it may be extended by one more.


	20. Darling, My Honeybee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10k hits and a load of kudos??? brb crying

She ended up staying over that night. Neither girl wanted to be farther than a few feet from the other and with the help of Lizzie, their little sleepover wasn’t an issue.

They spent the rest of the night in a bundle of limbs trading soft kisses and having whispered conversations. There were a few times when one of them suddenly grew bold and the timid, soft kisses turned into something more heated. Hands began grasping desperately at each other but it simmered out before it went too far. It just wasn’t time. 

Penelope woke that morning with her face buried in the nape of Josie’s neck, her hands cradled close to her chest and legs curled up. Josie was on her side, face smushed into the pillow and snoring softly. She closed her eyes for a second to bask in the comforting scent and heat of her girlfriend before pressing a soft kiss to her shoulder and sitting up. Sometime in the night she traded her clothes for an oversized shirt and baggy sweatpants. Most of her makeup was wiped off with the exception of some smeared lipstick and mascara that bled onto her cheeks. 

As quietly as she could, she snuck into the bathroom to wipe off the rest of her makeup and washed her face. She brushed her teeth, attempted to brush out a knot in her hair and doused herself in some perfume just to block the lingering smell of alcohol. 

After a quick change of clothes and a kiss for Josie on the forehead, she ungracefully hopped out of Josie’s bedroom window and headed in the direction of her house.

++

Nearly a week passed since she last saw her mother. As usual, she dodged any and all attempts from both her and Chris at contacting her and instead focused all her attention on Josie. Things were better than ever between the two of them. Whenever they were in school, Penelope couldn’t help but be drawn to her girlfriend’s presence. Looking at her, holding her hand, kissing her on the cheek, you name it.

Their PDA got to the point where Hope and Lexa had to pull her aside and threaten to kick her out of movie night if they didn’t stop. Josie only blushed while Penelope rolled her eyes, but it worked. Penelope toned down on the PDA in favor of flashing her girlfriend a wink or a soft touch every now and then. Somehow,  _ that  _ had more of an effect on Josie than anything else and it made her smile from ear to ear. 

But despite the honeymoon like bliss they were basking in, the elephant in the room still remained. It was slowly gnawing at her and she couldn’t shake the slight pang of fear she had in her gut whenever she was left to her own devices. She couldn’t continue on ignoring it forever. Eventually, something was going to happen. Sabine could show up and literally just drag her away to another continent and there would be nothing Penelope could do about it. 

No matter how much she hated it, she was at her mother’s will. If Sabine wanted to cut her off and throw her out of the house, Penelope would have no choice but to pack her bags and go. Fortunately, she managed to keep a decently filled savings account that would keep her afloat for a while. She knew Lexa or Hope would be more than happy to take her in for a few days until she found something of her own and Lincoln had always been bugging her about becoming a personal trainer for the gym. 

She had the resources if it came down to it. A place to stay, a job, money. Yet none of that would mend the inevitable hurt of knowing that her mother fully gave up on her. Penelope could be stoic all she wanted, but deep down she was scared of how her mother’s decision would affect her. 

But she had enough. It was  _ her  _ turn to make the decisions. 

++

The process was long and tedious. She doubted a lot, lost sleep and had breakdowns every other night. Josie did her best to comfort her in the rough times with firm touches and reassuring words. The worst night she had was when she finished nearly half a bottle of some gold label whiskey in an attempt to take the stress of everything off.

She started off with the bottle in hand on the couch, flipping through channels in search of something to watch after a particularly rough day of meetings. Sip after sip, Penelope began to feel the nerves and stress of the day melt away as the night wore on. It was hours later when Josie stepped in to see Penelope crying into a slice of pizza while the TV played the ending credits to Moana. 

“Babe?” Josie said softly as she quickly crossed the room to kneel down next to her girlfriend. The second she laid a hand on Penelope’s shoulder, the girl melted into her side. Heavy arms snaked around the brunette’s waist and she buried her face into the crook of Josie’s shoulder. She frowned to herself once the overwhelming aroma of alcohol hit her but she remained silent. There was another time for that conversation. One of Josie’s hands rubbed soothing circles on her back while the other lightly scratched at her scalp. “Are you okay?” 

Penelope remained silent for some time before nodding wordlessly. The two remained entangled in one another on the floor of the living room until Penelope pulled herself away and rubbed at her eyes with the back of her hand. She looked up to meet Josie’s eyes before giving a halfhearted shrug. “Rough day,” She finally mumbled. 

“What happened at the meetings?” Josie asked as she leaned in to rest her head on Penelope’s shoulder, one hand still drawing patterns up and down her girlfriend’s arm. 

“They sent the letter today.” 

“Oh, Pen..” 

“I’m.. I’m not scared that they sent it. I’m scared of how she’ll choose to react.” Penelope said, her voice wavering just slightly near the end. Clearing her throat, she spoke again. “Is it… pathetic, that I still have hope that she’ll fight me on it? At least a little? That she wouldn’t give in as easily as I think she will?” 

Josie sat up then, moving to cradle her girlfriend’s head to her chest and holding her tightly, the way she knew Penelope needed to be held when she was hurting like this. Shaky hands grasped at the back of Josie’s shirt timidly, crumpling the fabric as she held on for dear life. 

“It’s not pathetic, babe. It’s never pathetic for someone to care.” Quiet sobs filled the room for the next few minutes until Penelope finally cried out her feelings and quite possibly all the tears in her body. She pulled away from Josie enough to wipe the remaining wetness from her cheeks and reached for the whiskey bottle once more only to be intercepted by the brunette.

“No. No more, Pen. We’re going to bed now, okay?” Josie said with a stern but soft voice. She laced their outstretched hands together before bringing their hands to her lips for a kiss. When she was met with silence, she ducked her head to catch her girlfriend’s eyes. “Please?”

Another beat of silence passed before Penelope nodded. 

Tomorrow will be better.

++

And it was. Even though she woke up by herself in an empty bed, it only took a short trip downstairs to find the girl she wanted to continue waking up next to for as long as possible. She shuffled into the kitchen and made a beeline to Josie who stood at the stove staring down at the pan full of eggs. They greeted each other with a chaste kiss and a hug that lingered longer than necessary but definitely needed. 

The two ate in relative silence, the early morning exhaustion still evident in both girls. Though throughout breakfast, Penelope could feel Josie sparing glances at her more than usual. Each time she would look up to meet her eyes, Josie would quickly look away and continue eating. It wasn’t until moments later when Penelope was munching on some toast that Josie finally cleared her throat to speak. 

“I don’t think you should drink anymore.”

The words caught Penelope by surprise, that emotion being evident on her face as her eyebrows shot up to her hairline. She swallowed the bit of food in her mouth and sat back in her chair. She knew she had a problem. For as long as she could remember, alcohol acted like a crutch for her. Whenever she was upset with school or her mother, a bottle of liquor was always there to make things better on days that hitting a punching bag couldn’t quite do the job. Multiple times she tried to pinpoint the exact moment that she started relying so heavily on it. Was it the time when she was ten and she stole a sip from her mother’s wine glass after she stepped out for a phone call? Or was it a couple years later in junior high when her mother failed to show up at one of her recitals and she managed to break into their liquor cabinet after Rose left for the day? 

“I don’t like what it does to you, Penelope and.. I just hate that you feel like there’s no other choice than to drink the problem away.” Penelope met her eyes then and she wasn’t shocked to see misty brown eyes staring back at her. God, she felt like an idiot for letting it get to this point. For letting her impulsiveness get the best of her, for.. Giving up on herself. For being so scared of her own mind that she rather drown herself in alcohol in order to sedate the thoughts that she just couldn’t handle. 

“I hate it too,” Penelope said with a sigh. “I want to stop... I will, stop. I promise.” 

She watched as Josie’s eyes softened and the corner of her lips turned up into a smile. They clasped their hands together, Josie bringing them up for a kiss on each of Penelope’s knuckles. She couldn’t help but smile at the gesture and the way it made the butterflies in her belly flutter. “I’ll help you, every step of the way. Whether it be at meetings or spending extra days at the gym, hold your hand when you’re feeling out of it.” Josie leaned in to press a few kisses to the corner of Penelope’s mouth. “I love you. Thank you.” 

++

The days following Penelope’s decision to quit drinking weren’t as bad as she expected. She realized that without the stress of having to deal with her mother the way she did before, she didn’t need to drink too much. Most of it was just to help her unwind after a long day or take the edge off of a rough training session. 

Other than that, she was grateful for the easy transition. Any and all alcohol in the house was given away to whoever wanted it. On the particularly rougher days she found herself cuddled up in bed, her head on Josie’s chest as the comforting scratches on her scalp pulled her to sleep. Though the events leading up to it usually consisted of Penelope sheepishly asking her girlfriend to help her stretch out the sore muscles and ice the bruises from some overzealous training.

Things finally came to a head in the middle of the week. Penelope sat at the island in her kitchen with her homework spread out in front of her. She was scribbling away at a physics problem when the front door slammed open. The all too familiar sound of sharp heels clicking echoed off the walls and a chill spread throughout her body. 

She turned in her seat just as her mother came into view. Sabine wore her usual black suit, white blouse with a few buttons undone and hair done up in some complicated updo. Her green eyes were furious as they bore into Penelope’s own but the shock of seeing her in person hadn’t left Penelope’s expression. 

“Mo--”

“What the  _ hell  _ is this, Penelope?” Sabine held up the manilla envelope as she stalked over to the island and slammed it down on the granite countertop shortly after setting her briefcase down too. Penelope finally broke eye contact then to glance down at the envelope she had seen not too long ago. She could just barely make out the ink where her lawyers had stamped her name and address. “Emancipation? Tell me this is just another one of your idiotic jokes.”

“You know I don’t like to lie,” Penelope bit back a smirk and instead opted for a nonchalant shrug. “You gave me no choice. I wasn’t going to let you pack my life up and ship me abroad just so you brag.”

“You cannot just delete me as your mother! You should’ve talked to me about this before you decided to spend thousands of dollars that  _ I  _ am going to have to take care of! Did you even think about the repercussions of your actions?” 

Through instinct, Penelope flinched at her mother’s words but quickly shook it off. She did her best to set her jaw and meet the green eyes that mirrored hers. “I guess we’re more alike than I thought, huh?”

Sabine pinched the corners of her eyes in distress and all Penelope could do was watch her shoulders rise and fall with each deep breath she took. It was almost as if she could literally see the anger emanating off of her. “I called things off with Chris.” 

Penelope blinked. Once, twice, three times for good measure. “W-What?” 

Her mother met her eyes then and in that moment, all the anger was gone. In its place was sadness, maybe even a hint of desperation? Wordlessly, Sabine pulled out the stool next to Penelope and sat down. “I know that we’ve never seen eye to eye on things, Penelope. And it feels like you’re just permanently angry with me ever since Robert died but..” Sabine took a breath as her eyes began to water. “Every time I look at you, I see him. I see everything that I’ve lost. The love of my life, my daughter, my  _ family. _ ” She quickly wiped away the stray tears and sniffled. “Chris was dead set on living in Belgium with all of us and that was what I wanted too, just not with him.” Shockingly, Sabine reached across the table and took Penelope’s hand in hers. “I want us to be a family, just me and you. We don’t need anybody else when we’ve already had the best.” 

She didn’t know what to think. This morning she woke up perfectly fine. She was looking forward to finally getting her freedom back and finally having the chance to live however she wanted. Making peace with the fact that while she’d always have a failed relationship with her mother, she was better off in the long run. That was what she told herself over and over again for so many years. After every visit, every fight or disagreement,  _ I’m better off. _

Right?

“One more chance, Penelope. That’s all I ask. I will spend however long it takes to make it up to you. So please, can we work towards being a family again?”

It would be easy to turn her down. After all, Penelope didn’t owe her anything anymore. She came to that conclusion and cemented it the second she told the lawyers to send that letter. Seeing her mother beg like this wasn’t the reaction she expected, but deep down secretly hoped for. She brought her gaze up to meet Sabine’s, doing her best to keep her face neutral so as to not give anything away. It would be so  _ easy  _ and  _ satisfying  _ to turn her down in a moment of desperation.

But she was  _ tired _ . Tired of it all. 

“How do I know you’re not just telling me what I want to hear?” Penelope whispered quietly. 

Sabine moved from her spot to be closer to Penelope. Timid, warm hands cupped the sides of Penelope’s face as she spoke. “Like I said, I will do whatever it takes. I just want us to be better, please. If not for me, for Robert… For your father.” Green eyes fluttered shut as she took in a shaky breath. 

“I swear... Don’t make me regret this.” She said with a set jaw. The relief she saw in her mother’s eyes made her heart clench, she just didn’t know if it was in a good or bad way. In another instant, she felt the skinny arms of her mother wrap around her neck in a bone crushing hug. Her own arms were frozen mid air, not totally sure if she wanted to return it or not. 

After a few moments of just being stationary, she gingerly snaked her arms around her mother’s torso, returning the hug. 

++

“I’m proud of you.”

Penelope looked at her girlfriend, a big smile tugging at her lips. “Yeah?”

The two were at some random mountain side on the underdeveloped part of town, sitting on the ground on a laid out picnic blanket with their shoulders touching. After Penelope had her conversation with her mother and said their goodbyes, she called Josie immediately before the inevitable panic attack set in. ‘ _ Did I make a mistake? Should I have just told her to kick rocks?’  _ Penelope said so quickly that it took Josie a moment to understand before responding, ‘ _ I don’t think that would’ve ended well.’ _

“I am,  _ so  _ proud. You’ve come such a long way, Pen. This whole conflict with your mother was eating away at you both mentally and physically. It had to come to an end eventually, right? I’m so happy that it ended on a good note. You deserve this.” Josie leaned her head against the side of Penelope’s for a short moment before bowing down to sneak a kiss. “You deserve the world.” 

Penelope couldn’t shake the smile that had been on her face ever since they sat down. She pressed a kiss to her girlfriend’s forehead and shrugged. “You’re more than enough.” 

Seeing the way the apples of Josie’s cheeks turned pink every time she blushed was something Penelope hoped she never got tired of. It was just too damn  _ cute. _ After a little while, they shifted positions to lie down and watch the clouds. With Josie’s head resting comfortably on Penelope’s shoulder and hers against Josie’s, they basked in the occasional cool breeze and calmness of the sky. “How do you think we’ll be once we’ve started college?”

“What do you mean?” Penelope asked. 

Josie shrugged. “Do you think we’ll still be the same lovesick teenagers that can’t spend more than a few days apart? Do you think we’ll be the couple to last? We’ve watched enough TV and movies to know how things usually go.”

Without hesitation, Penelope just chuckled as she propped herself up on an arm to look down at Josie. “Of course we will. You wanna know why?” 

A knowing smile lined Josie’s lips then, but she still feigned ignorance. “Because you love me?”

“Because,” Penelope leaned down slowly as she flashed her signature smirk. 

“I--” Kiss. “Love--” Kiss. “You--” Kiss. “Josie.” Kiss. “We’ll be okay.” 

“And I love you, Penelope.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo sorry for the wait to any readers still reading! I've had an eventful past few months both good and bad that I won't bore you with but I managed to get this done and out! I left the ending a little bit ambiguous because I have just the slightest desire to make oneshot sequels but made sure to still give some sort of closure in case I ever lose that fire lol. 
> 
> Thank you all for so many hits and all the kudos, it absolutely blows my mind that I somehow managed to trick over 10,000 people to read this cracked out fic >:) In all honesty, I'm overjoyed. Thank you thank you.
> 
> Now that I've finished this one, I do intend to continue my other fic as well but will be dabbling in some oneshots/twoshots too.... I may have already outlined another story from a prompt I saw online lol. 
> 
> To anyone still reading the fic and this A/N, I appreciate you! You're doing great. 2020 is almost over, we did it ya'll. Stay hydrated <3
> 
> EDIT: I made a tumblr! let's chat! youresomoneybby


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